Difference Between Boys & Girls - Television Edition

We have a new member of the family.


If you look closely, you can see the behemoth just barely peek over my son's head. Yeah. It's that big. That's what I get for making the Man wait so long to get a new television and then telling him to "just get what you want."

When the Man first set it up, both kids watched earnestly, peeking over his shoulder. Then he turned it on. And here's how girls and boys are different...again.

Da Boo started to cry, insisted she didn't want to watch television at all, and immediately went to the furthest portion of the house.

The Boy, however, was memorized. He stood, slack-jawed and staring...when he finally spoke, he didn't take his eyes from the screen but said "Watch movie, Daddy? Watch movie right here?"

I think he's in love.

FHE: Bullies

You've seen pictures of my kids, right? Da Boo and the Boy. Cute, aren't they? But they're also kinda short, incurably silly, and they wear glasses. Hey, I think glasses on little kids are adorable! But other kids might not think so. I worry about them being bullied and picked on in school (and maybe a little bit because I think karma is going to get me on this one for harassing kids when I was in elementary school). So I worry. 'Cuz that's what I do best.

Family Home Evening was not going to happen last night. Dinner was really late, we had friends over and the Man was "resting his eyes" upstairs. Instead of throwing in the towel, I showed the kids a Veggie Tales movie called "Minnesota Cuke." It's one they've seen before. The Boy got it for Christmas. I just hope the lesson sinks in...that if they ever find themselves in the same situation - a large gourd threatening to pound them into soup - then I hope they'd remember what to do. (And if you've never seen Veggie Tales, I highly recommend them! I like to watch them, too. "Lord of the Beans" is really great!)

Opening Song: Veggie Tales theme song (see? I totally wussed out on actually planning.)

Opening Prayer: The kids' friend said the opening prayer.

Lesson: We watched the first part of the DVD which is a mini story about standing up to bullies. (The Minnesota Cuke portion is a spoof on Indiana Jones and also deals with bullies but it was already past their bedtime so we kept it short).

Junior Asparagus and his friends are threatened by a bully named Gordon, who kicks them out of their favorite playground. Junior (who actually is an asparagus) daydreams about being brave, strong and able to defeat the bully. His father talks to him about standing up for himself, showing the bully that he's not afraid. God does not gives us fear, He gives us courage. And even if he gets pounded, not to fight. "Turn the other cheek." So rallied by his friends, Junior goes back to the playground and faces Gordon the bully. He tells him that beating him up only proves that Gordon is three times bigger than he is and that he is not afraid of the bully. Just when it looks like Junior is about to be pounded, his friends stand up to the bully, too. Gordon leaves. The veggies celebrate their victory...by singing, of course!

"We know we're not weak, turning our cheek,
With the courage that comes from our God!"

Closing Song: Pizza Angel. (It's the "silly song" on the DVD. Each Veggie Tales has one and they are pretty good! My favorites include Barbara Manatee, My Cheeseburger and Song About Cebu.)

Closing Prayer: a very sleepy Boo said the prayer...and nearly dozed off toward the end.

Treats: On Sunday, Aunt Denise made the Man Seven Layer Bars - his favorite. We had some of those...but the Man was still "resting his eyes" so don't tell him, okay?

“Under the plan of heaven, the husband and the wife walk side by side as companions, neither one ahead of the other, but a daughter of God and a son of God walking side by side. Let your families be families of love and peace and happiness. Gather your children around you and have your family home evenings, teach your children the ways of the Lord, read to them from the scriptures, and let them come to know the great truths of the eternal gospel as set forth in these words of the Almighty” (President Gordon B. Hinckley, fireside, Buenos Aires, Argentina, 12 Nov. 1996).

We Thank Thee, O God, For a Prophet

President Gordon B. Hinckley, head of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, modern-day prophet, died Sunday, January 27 in his apartment in Salt Lake City.

I heard the news as I was walking down the stairs in my house. Desperately, I wanted to cry. I wanted to shed tears over a man who has meant so much in my life. I wanted to mourn the loss. But I couldn't. All I could think was "He's with his wife, now. He and Marjorie are together again." And really? That made me smile.

Quotes from a Prophet:

"Every man who truly loves a woman and every woman who truly loves a man hopes and dreams that their companionship will last forever. But marriage is a covenant sealed by authority. If that authority is of the state alone, it will endure only while the state has jurisdiction, and that jurisdiction ends with death. But add to the authority of the state the power of the endowment given by Him who overcame death, and that companionship will endure beyond life if the parties to the marriage live worthy of the promise." (First Presidency Message, Liahona Magazine, July 2003).

“People are not without hope. Everybody ought to recognize that in the most dire circumstances there is an element of hope, that people can recover from what they have done, that they can do better, that they can turn around, that they can improve and increase their happiness by so doing” (press interview regarding Standing for Something, 11 Feb. 2000).

“I have been interviewed by various reporters. The one thing they say is, ‘Now what is going to be your theme during your presidency?’ I simply say, ‘The same theme which I have heard repeated in this Church by the Presidents of the Church and the Apostles for as far back as I can remember: Live the gospel, and everyone who does so will receive in his heart a conviction of the truth of that which he lives’ ” (Tacoma, Washington, regional conference, 20 Aug. 1995).

Batter Blaster - Revisited

Since so many of you either commented or emailed with questions about the Batter Blaster, I decided to answer in another post instead of just a really long-winded comment.

So here goes:

The Man got the Batter Blaster when he toured the local storehouse with our bishopric. The facility had received four pallets of this new item and were handing them out in 3-packs to anyone who stopped by that day.

At the time, it was not known if the storehouse will begin carrying this item on a full-time basis. I will keep you posted. However, I did a search and right now, the only store locally that carries this is located in Riverton. If you visit the Batter Blaster website you can search for a local distributor with your zip code (they even have recipe ideas, which are a little scary-sounding). Some customer comments said they purchased the product from Costco, so ask at the one closest to you.

We will be trying this as waffles soon. I think they will taste better in a waffle iron. They seemed better suited for it, being a little crustier than the usual pancake.

And it's way fun to play with! Would be really fun to write your name with the stuff!

Tonight, I was telling Aunt Denise about it but mis-spoke and said "Bladder Blaster." She thought I was talking about a new size of Big Gulp. And now I cannot say the correct name...dang it!

Product Review: Batter Blaster

Just the other day, I was at the grocery store and saw a display for jugs of pancake batter, just add water. I scoffed at them and reveled in my own pancake-making-from-scratch superiority. Of course, I can't really be the stuck-up one since it's the Man that makes the pancakes. His are really light and fluffy and smell great and a great kisser...oh wait...sorry...I started talking about the Man, not the pancakes.

When the Man came home from touring the Bishop's storehouse, he said they were giving out free samples of a new product: pancake batter. But when he showed it to me, I couldn't help but laugh. Well, just have a look for yourself:

See what I mean? That's pancake batter inside what is essentially a whipped cream can! But we just had to try it so I put pancakes on the menu.

Pancake night and the Man got to have all the fun. I was busy chasing kids. The first batch was cooking. They looked a little thin but smelled wonderful. We gave them to the kids to taste-test first. The kids are picky eaters but these were pancakes. Da Boo ate hers like a piece of toast, no syrup, and then promptly asked for another. The Boy schmeared his with syrup and downed every last bite. Meltdown ensued when they were told to wait a few minutes for the next batch. I guess these must be good if the kids are whining about them!

Looks fun, doesn't it? Sounds just like whipped cream! Couldn't help but giggle while he was making them.

Uh oh...looks like that's the end of the can! In total, we got 16 pancakes from one can. And we ate every last one of them. They were thinner than our usual kind but they tasted like pancakes. The can says they are organic and there's hardly any fat. There aren't any weird ingredients on the label (well, except for the scientific name for "baking soda"). And the can is kinda fun to squirt! I prefer our usual pancakes but these were pretty good. I have no idea how much it is, though.

And the Man wouldn't let me squirt it into my mouth like I do the whipped cream...big meanie...

FHE: Helping Hands

The lesson for FHE was a practice run for the Boy's preschool*. He meets with three of his friends and for the first half, they play with puzzles or playdoh, sing songs, have a lesson, color a picture or make a craft and generally try to have some structure. After that, they get to play. All the moms take turns hosting and it was my turn. I wanted to talk about helping because the Boy seems to think everything is too hard for him and just lets his sister do it.

Opening Song: The Boy chose ABCs (I'm sure Twinkle Little Star was really offended).

Opening Prayer: Da Boo asked me to say it.

Lesson: First, I had everyone show me their hands. We counted the finger and then wiggled them in crazy ways (easy when you're a toddler). Next, we showed what our hands could do, like how they button shirts, clap, give spankings (hey, da Boo said that one, not me!) and point. Before we started, I set up four stations around the room. I took the kids to each station.

Station #1 - The Bed (small travel pillow and a fleece blanket that was rumpled). I asked the kids what their hands could do to help make this look better. Immediately, da Boo began to straighten the blanket. The Boy joined her after a little prodding.

Station #2 - Toy Box (small plastic box of a dozen or so toys, scattered on the floor). Again, da Boo got to work immediately. The Boy was right behind her and actually had to fight her for toys to pick up! Oh, if only it was really like that when it came time to clean up...

Station #3 - Coat Rack (Boy's jacket, Boo's school bag). All I had to say was "These don't belong on the floor here..." They had snatched up their item and were running to put them where they go on the coat rack.

Station #4 - Getting Dressed (Boy's pull-up and Boo's shoes). This one we sat down and talked about how we can get dressed and undressed ourselves. Even if we need a little help, there is still a lot we can do with our hands.

Each station, I asked them what their hands were doing. I made sure to praise them for having such helpful hands.

Closing Song: Head Shoulders Knees and Toes

Closing Prayer: Da Boo tried calling on me again but then she asked the Man to say it.

Treats: We had some Adcoma cake, of course! Thought about making sugar cookie hands (have a cookie cutter shaped like a hand!) but the day got away from me and my house is already stuffed full of sugar-loaded goodies.

*For the Boy's class, I traced their hands on a paper and let them color/stab with crayons/stare at their handprints. We also had string cheese for a snack but maybe it was a little beyond them because they would only eat the pieces I pulled off for them.

The Won't Power

Here's a quote from my Chocolate Calendar yesterday:

"Will power is easy.

It's the Won't power that

throws most of us."

Amen! I am having a little bit of trouble strengthening the Won't power. I have this in the fridge. Then there's this on the counter. And I am fresh out of celery and whole bran and twigs...you know, the healthy alternatives.

*sigh*

I Saw The Witch Doctor

This was my favorite article! Because I just looooove sarcasm. And because I really, really needed to vent about all the ridiculous but "proven" advice I had been getting all through the years of trying to have a child. Everyone had something to say. And honestly? I didn't want to hear it. I will have to tell you about the one girl in the our married-student ward that actually questioned my testimony! Seriously! I wanted to punch her! In fact...I still want to punch her!

Any way...this was originally published in December 2001, right before the president went off the deep end. My last one!

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Women trying to conceive seem to be a magnet for unusual/alternative/ridiculous advice. It’s almost like finding a cure for hiccups: everyone has his or her own ideas. I’ve collected my favorite “witch doctor” remedies, as told to me by well meaning or busybody individuals. I’ve added the things that go through my head as I am smiling, nodding and trying not to grit my teeth.

Drink a full glass of orange juice right before, without taking a breath – Tasty and refreshing but I’m not sure why this is supposed to work.

Stand on your head after – Not only is it not scientifically proved to help but it sure can put a crick in your neck.

Raise your legs in the air for 15 minutes just after – Whoa, Nelly! Ever want to test your ab muscles? Try this one.

Eat lots of beans – Sure, beans have folic acid but I can think of less fragrant ways to get my folic acid.

Place a pillow under the female’s tush - Is that a down or fiberfill pillow? Maybe I’ve been using the wrong kind. Ooooo, how ‘bout one of the big body pillows? Would that make me have twins?

Keep the lights on during – This one is just weird.

Don’t sneeze – While sneezes sure can sneak the pee out of you, they don’t do much hindering of reproduction.

Sleep over at a friend’s house – Apparently, the male’s instinctual hormones will activate in the close proximity of another alpha male, causing him to create “super semen.” Don’t know about that but my husband sure does leap to my rescue every time I see a spider.

Take cough syrup – While one of the ingredients is proven to thin cervical muscles, cough syrup isn’t a magic potion.

Fast, pray, and attend church every week – Check, check, and check. Still no baby.

Have relations everyday – Actually, this may hurt more than it helps. Males with a low sperm count need 36-48 hours to replenish the supply. And when both partners are working full-time so they can afford treatments that actually work, there’s just no time!

Don’t go to the bathroom for at least 1 hour – So what about that glass of orange juice? It has to come out sometime…And dare I tell them that the urinary tract and the vagina are in no way connected to each other?

Hold babies as much as possible – I’ve been doing that since I was 8 and it hasn’t worked yet. Besides, the more I hold them, the more I wonder if the mother would notice if I start walking away.

And my personal favorite:
JUST RELAX – In the midst of our infertility woes, we went to Hawaii for a week where we did nothing but lounge on the beach and the most stress came from choosing which flower to stick in our smoothies. Now that was relaxed! But all I got was this lousy T-shirt, no baby. Maybe we should try it again, without the stressful smoothies…

Happy Thoughts

Second in the Infertility Series. In response to emails I got where the women had given up hope, were fighting depression and just did not see any reasons to be happy anymore. Originally published November 2001.

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Ah, the holiday season. A time when the focus is on family and celebrating the good things in a life. A time when we share laughter and pleasant company. A time when many wonder what is so great about their lives. Well, I could write volumes on what are the best things about life but that’s not why I include this section in the newsletters. This is where I try to give people something to think about, something that will make days a little easier to handle, something that might just make things better.

So I am not going to write this section. You are. Don’t worry. No one will see what you write unless you want someone to see it. But here is how it works:

1. Get a small notebook or a stack of papers and a good pen.
2. Leave these things by your bed.
3. Every night, before you set the alarm clock or turn off the light, write down three things that you were thankful for that day. They can be things like "spent some quality time with spouse at lunch" or "got in a good workout" or "matched all the socks from the dryer." Big or little, it doesn’t matter, as long as you were thankful that it happened.

Reread your list from time to time. When you’ve had a hard day or when you really need to smile, read your list. We all have plenty to be thankful for everyday. This is just one way of making those things tangible.

My Roar

First in the Infertility Series. Originally published September 2001.

This was not my favorite but it was the one that got the most positive response from the group members. Personally, I think it's kinda corny, little cheesy...might be a pretzel or two in there as well. So I am starting with this one so you don't have any really high expectations for the others.

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Ladies, I have an announcement: I AM WOMAN. HEAR ME ROAR.

I’m proud of my gender. I am proud of the strength that combines with such compassion. I am as fierce in my devotion to my family as I am protective of them. I feel great sadness in knowing I have no children and I also have great hope. My hope does not lie with the wonders of medical advancements but with the knowledge that I am a woman and this is my roar:

Being a woman is more than gingham oven mitts and plates of cookies, hair curlers and lip gloss.

Being a woman is knowing I have a tremendous ability to change the world. It is not cleaning house. It is cleaning up a nation. The cleaning starts with raising a family.

My body has failed me but my heart does not. There are no logical reasons why I cannot conceive, no finger to point, and no blame to shoulder. Weak and susceptible, the body is only clay. The spirit of a woman is concrete.

I am woman. Hear me roar.

I roar in pain, for the heartbreak and suffering of my sisters worldwide. I roar in protection of my natural ability to love and care for others. I cry out in alarm at the degradation of the family as society tells me to abandon my dreams of children. I cry for joy at the sheer happiness that I am a woman. And I am not alone. The shouts and cries of my sisters are with me. Anguish and hope are roaring to the world. We will not go gently into that good night. We will rage, rage against the dying of the light. Women are told we are weak, but perhaps that is to keep us from discovering the immense strength inside. No one can deter a woman with hope. Nothing can stop a woman who knows who and what she is.

Cling to hope. Hold to the dream. And most importantly, tell the world.

You are woman. Let them hear you roar.

Birthday Blues

Remember how my birthday kinda was not so good? How I whined and whimpered and ate cookies? And I was still totally pampered and adored and smooched until I had whisker burn? Yeah...well...

This is the Man's Birthday Week. Not a big fan of eating out, he asked that I make him one of his favorite meals at home. But that wasn't "nice" enough for me. Because his birthday celebration is all about me, right? So for something special last night, I farmed the kids out to a friend for an hour and set up for a romantic candlelit dinner right here. But it didn't quite go like that...

I ordered his birthday present online. It still has not arrived. Dang it! Only had one other gift for him to open and it was a small one that he probably would have just bought for himself weeks ago but I wanted to give him something so he waited until his birthday. Stupid standard shipping...

Instead of making his favorite cheesecake for dessert (because I'm serving that for after dinner Friday night), I made his favorite cookies, Oatmeal Chocolate Chip. But I was baking them and getting dinner ready at the same time. Have I ever mentioned - perhaps in passing - that I am pretty much an airhead? Yeah...so I burned dinner. And for those of you playing along at home, it's actually rather difficult to burn pork chops. Well, I did it! I am just that good.

The Man still insisted that the pork chops would be perfectly edible.

I remade the sauce the pork chops had simmered to death in but it wasn't as good. Tasted more like soup than sauce. Bland and blah.

Usually, I have rolls but I didn't get any from the store on account of this incredible new bread recipe I've been using that makes the most fantastic rolls! Didn't remember about the rolls issue until about 15 minutes before dinner....so no rolls.

Turns out the goblets we were going to use for the sparkling cider were actually kinda crusty from their last trip in the dishwasher so we used juice glasses instead.

I got my nice crystal candlestick holders that were a wedding gift. Then I could only find one candle. This candle refused to light! Re. Fus. Ed. I went through nearly a dozen matches trying to get it to stay lit! So we left the light on over the kitchen sink so we wouldn't be eating in the dark.

There we are...sitting at our wobbly little table with burnt chops, bland sauce, no rolls, ugly glasses, light shining on the overflowing stack of dirty dishes and a candle that's smoking because the flame just went out (again!) but the house is silent except for us talking and laughing.

It was a good dinner.

FHE: The Body

Can't miss posting for Family Home Evening so my re-prints will have to wait a little bit...

Opening Song: Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes (does it still count if I can't actually touch my toes?)

Opening Prayer: The Man.

Lesson: It was da Boo's turn. I had a lesson all ready to go for her, one that she could teach herself but she wanted something very different. In preschool, they are learning about the body so that was what she wanted to teach us. 'Cuz maybe we don't know that we have intestines or brains (some days, it seems like I don't have one).

She draws her own visual aids.

Here are some highlights from the lesson:

Da Boo: Your intestines are like a roller coaster for your food.

Da Boo: Some food you eat doesn't get eaten so it goes down to your bottom and then you poop.

The Man: What would we look like if we didn't have a skeleton?
Da Boo: A puddle of yucky stuff on the floor.


Closing Song: Twinkle Little Star (because it's just not FHE if we aren't forced to sing this one...)


Closing Prayer: Da Boo.


Treats: Skeleton bone gummy candy (yes, they are leftover from Halloween!) and brownies for the Man who despises all things gummy.

Infertility - There! I Said It!

The people who read my blog consistently are those that have known me since I was a boy-crazy teenager, boy-crazy young adult and then a love-struck (still boy-crazy...but now just for one boy) newlywed. Most of you know me personally, have been with me through thick and thin (currently, I'm pretty thick). You already know my story. Here are some of the minor details.

During the three-year struggle to have our first child, I joined several infertility groups and organizations. One, called A Baby Made, was all about helping couples find funding for those expensive treatments and injections required when the birds and the bees don't cut it. The head of that group would send out sporadic "newsletters" and rant about Corporate America's lack of compassion to those wishing to have offspring. His grammar was poor and his word choice was worse. After yet another tirade in my inbox, I asked if he'd like me to take over the newsletter, make it a regular, monthly affair (with a point! - but I didn't say that part). He accepted and so it began. I interviewed our members for spotlights, did some research on different options, etc. I wrote the newsletter for about six months...then the president had what amounted to a nervous breakdown and the group was shut down. Yeah, not such a happy ending.

However, I wrote a few articles for that newsletter that I am particularly fond of re-reading. One of my favorite pastimes is to go through my computer, reading over old papers or short stories or some of my articles. Then I either marvel at my articulation or roll my eyes at the obvious flaws - sometimes both...repeatedly. And since I love to subject people to my writing (well, not all of my writing), I am going to republish those articles here - but only the ones I actually liked. Not the dumb ones. Those will never see the light of a monitor again!

The reason I've been digging through my old folders? Well, remember how I might have mentioned that "wanting another baby"-thing once, twice, or maybe more? Yeah. That's not going so well. In fact, if the details wouldn't make you gag and possibly throw up a little, I'd share them. But I won't. Instead, I'll say that I have another fertility consultation with my OB, who will once again refer me to a specialist (because I am that screwed up, fertility-speaking) but I have no idea who that might be since my last specialist is currently in jail. Yeah, there's another interesting post for ya... So I gots da babies on da brain!

Because I Can...

Chocolate Calendar Quote for today:

"When you were a child,

you had to ask for permission

to have a piece of candy.

Now you are an adult

And don't have to ask anybody.

Revel in your new found freedom!"

First Date

Just in case you weren't already convinced of my utter dork-osity...

This morning, I had a first date. I was nervous, as is to be expected. Before going to bed, I picked up the living room, made sure the kitchen was decent and just generally cleaned. Last night, I set my alarm so I would wake up early enough to shower and fix my hair. And I had my outfit all picked out. Running late (as usual), I opted to skip breakfast in favor of putting on make up, then hustled the kids through toast and into their clothes.

Are you confused yet?

See, this was a first date, yes. A first Play Date. Da Boo made a new friend at preschool and wanted her to come over and play. I suggested a before-preschool time and it was all set. But her mother would be dropping her off! This was a chance for me to talk to another adult during the day who wasn't trying to sell me another magazine subscription. Because I am a high-ranking goober, it's hard to make new friends from "scratch," as it were. Most people kinda have to get used to me...I am like stinky cheese. No one likes stinky cheese at first because it...well, stinks! But eventually, you spend enough time around the stinky cheese (hallways at church, neighborhood park, etc.) and it starts to not have such a bad smell. Maybe you even try a little bit on your toast one morning or perhaps crumbled into a salad with dinner. You discover you actually like stinky cheese! Stinky cheese is highly entertaining in small groups. So I am definitely stinky cheese.

This poor new mom did not have the chance to get used to my dorkhood smell yet. She arrived in a professional outfit (put my Old Navy top to shame), hair perfectly coiffed and smiling without the help of caffeine. I wasted no time in making a fool of myself and spouting awkward sentences. Nothing like a big ol' bite of straight Limburger cheese to start your day! The mother left after several minutes (not that I blame her...especially after my gallbladder comment) but her daughter stayed. We had a lovely tea party.

The Knack

I have distressing news about my son...but I can't find the words...watch this video:



Sure, he takes things apart like any normal kid. But he's figured out the door locks! His sister doesn't know how to do that! And he can operate the DVD. He's not even three years old yet! There's just no hope...he has the Knack.

I blame his father.

FHE: Reverence

Subtitled:

"How Not to Make Mommy's Eye Twitch in Semi-Contained Rage at Your Utter Lack of Reverence During Church."

Lately, getting the kids to behave during sacrament meeting has been a...struggle.

*Thinking happy thoughts to keep from using Daddy Words when thinking about last Sunday...*

The kids are out of control and no amount of fruit snacks seems to help. So we decided to have a Family Home Evening on the issue. And I swear, if this doesn't work, I am going to start saying "You misbehaving during church makes Baby Jesus cry!"

Opening Song: Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star (yes, the Boy picked...)

Opening Prayer: Also The Boy (hey, he volunteered!)

Lesson: It was the Man's turn to teach the lesson. As soon as he got home from work, he had been working on the lesson upstairs in his office.


He starts by handing each child a small bowl with slips of paper inside. On the floor, he sets the cutest little chapel made from a folded paper print out. Then he asks da Boo for a slip of her paper. Confusion and mayhem ensue once the kids realize they don't get to keep those little bowls and have to actually hand over the papers. Eventually, we get things smoothed over and the lesson progresses. Da Boo gives the Man a paper. On it is a way to be reverent during church. The Man reads it and then we discuss how the kids can do these things, too. Da Boo gets to drop the paper into the chapel. We go back and forth like this, talking and trying not to bring up all the havoc they cause during church but instead focusing on what they should be doing:

• Say a quiet prayer in your heart during the sacrament, asking Heavenly Father to help you feel His Spirit.
• Shake hands with someone at church.
• If someone bothers you or talks to you during Church meetings, quietly and kindly tell them that you are trying to be reverent.
• Smile at others in the chapel when they look at you but do not talk. (Kids? Notice how they didn't say "immediately fall on the floor, screaming because you sibling dared to look at you and then loudly complain about how 'boooooooooring' the meeting is to you."? Are you taking notes here?)
• Pick up any litter you may see in the meetinghouse.
• If you have to talk, remember to do so quietly. (Then we practiced whispering because seriously, I think they forget how to do it.)
• Notice how special words, like thee and thou, are used when the prayers are given.
• Fold your arms, bow your head, close your eyes, and listen during the prayers. (Novel concept, I know, but let's give it a try!)
• Try to remember one of the stories you hear at church, in Sharing Time, in your class, or during sacrament meeting. Tell the story to someone after church.
• Walk quietly in the meetinghouse. Do not run or push other people. (Walking quietly does not include walking backwards quietly...)
• Say a quiet prayer in your heart during sacrament, thanking Heavenly Father for your blessings.
• Sing every song. If you do not know the words, hum.
• Think of Jesus during the sacrament. How many stories about Him can you remember?
• Think about something kind you can do for someone else during the coming week.

You can get the whole lesson here. And afterwards, when I was thinking about having a million more of the Man's babies because he did such a good job on the lesson, he admits that they had the same lesson in Elders Quorum a few weeks ago! Really? A Primary lesson? And they make fun of the women for having a centerpiece!

Closing Song: Jesus Wants Me For a Sunbeam (I gotta get the kids doing this one on film!)

Closing Prayer: Me.

Treats: Da Boo had picked out some yummy triple chocolate cookie dough while we were at the grocery store. It was on sale so I got it. Sooooo tasty!

I Resolve...

I am sure that you all (all eight of you) have been on pins and needles waiting to read about New Year's Resolutions. First, mine. Why? Because this is MY blog!

At dinner on New Year's Eve, we talked about making resolutions. We explained them to the kids as making a promise to do better at something.

The Man decrees he shall lose weight (I don't want him to because it will just make me look bigger so I'm going to start giving him whole milk...hehehehe).

Da Boo decided she wants to be better at playing with toys. That's not a bad idea! The Man might want to consider this one! After a little more thought, she said she was going to try to not be as whiny. (Hallelujah!)

The Boy is determined to learn to use the potty, as it means he will get to wear the spiffy underwear he got for Christmas. This might have to do with the fact that he gets candy (tootsie rolls are the current favorite) as rewards for staying dry. I've already stocked up on carpet cleaner.

And me. I resolve to keep a cleaner house. I used to be fairly decent at this - hey, why are you laughing?? No, really, I was! I used to follow Flylady's guidelines and kept the house in presentable order. Then came the whole happy pills issue and I fell off the bandwagon, rolled three times and hit my head. I'm feeling better now...

Now it's your turn...
Amber says she will eat less, exercise more, get more spiritual and keep a clean house (Hey, Amber? Check out FlyLady!). Oh and she will have lunch with me. And really? Shouldn't we all resolve to do that?
Kristie is going to post resolutions...(and now she has!)
Kamille sounds like she has a good plan! I am looking forward to hearing the snorting.
Amanda's big resolutions involve birthing a child. Hey, that sounds good! Add that to my list!
Emma has some absolutely fabulous resolutions! Let's hope she posts them when she sees this.
Heather has her New Year's Resolution up and is going to make me some french toast on those pretty plates! Just kidding...unless you really want to...
Jess H. resolves to lose her Big Tummy. But I saw you at church today, Jess, and my tummy can kick your tummy's skinny behind. Wait, that sounds weird...
Lindy and her girls have made their resolutions. I think among them should be "help Jessica redecorate her house" because Lindy's house is so pretty and put-together! Mine? Not so much. Brooke posted her resolutions, too. She wants to have more FHE's (obviously because mine are so very cool and organized and the kids are so very well-behaved...).

And if you leave me your link, I'll still add it. Unless I don't know you...cuz then that would just be weird.

You Say You Want A Resolution

Sunday, I had an airhead moment. So rare, I know. I was standing in the hallway chatting with a friend before I meandered off to Sunday School when two of my Activity Day girls poked their heads out of their classroom.

"Hey, Sister G!" they called, all excited to see me, "We don't have a teacher today! Come be our teacher!"

Now, normally, my little heart would swell with joy at being wanted and my ego would inflate faster than the National Deficit. However, at that moment I happened to remember that their teacher had asked me to substitute for her. Too bad I didn't remember sooner...like the night before so I could actually have a lesson planned! Oops! Still, we had a good time. We played Hangman with gospel terms. The first girl chose The Holy Bible. Going from there, I asked each of the girls to tell me their favorite bible story in their own words. This is always interesting (read: highly entertainingly!) to hear what they find important about these stories. Next, was Ten Commandments. After they solved it, I taught them a method the Man taught me for remembering which commandment goes with which number. This went over BIG TIME and we spent the rest of the class quizzing each other.

And now for my odd title up there. During Primary, the music lady asked the kids about their New Year's resolutions. One kid said that he didn't want to have a New Year's revolution. Then he didn't understand why all the adults in the room busted up laughing! So I am giving you a homework assignment: post your New Year's resolution on your blogs and then send me the link. I'll compile the list and post them here. And don't worry...I think at last count five people actually read my blog so it's not like you'll suddenly get tons of traffic and your blog will crash. I'm just not that popular. (Please participate as my ego is in desperate need of repair due to Sunday's deflation. Pretty please? I'll make you a cake!)

Juvenile Humor

Among my gifts this year was a something from my brother.

He purchased this prayer rug in Afghanistan. It's made from real silk! The colors shimmer and it's incredibly soft. But every time I look at it, I giggle like a third grader. Do you see the tag there? Here's a closer look:

Apparently, it's a literal translation of where on the worm the silk is produced...

200

Happy New Year!!

Let's start off by celebrating my 200th post! Now, instead of writing random things about myself, I will show you what the Man gave me in honor of the occasion:



They are called Lace Roses because the edges look frilly, like lace.


Actually, he didn't get me roses in honor of my blog (he doesn't even read my blog). He got me these a couple days ago from Costco. We were heading toward the checkout when we passed the flowers.


Me: Wow! Those are gorgeous!
Him: Boy, stop pushing your sister.
Me: Hey, these roses are really pretty!
Him: Should we get some beef jerky?
Me: The Man, when was the last time you brought me flowers?
Him: Uh...
Me: For my birthday.
Him: Oh.
Me: In September.
Him: Which flowers did you like?