Stressed is Desserts Spelled Backwards

A few weeks ago, I did the unthinkable on a Sunday: I didn't stress out.

Most of my readers are in the same leaky boat as I am: LDS mother with more young children than hands, husband with important duties at church or at work (or both), and with the desire to attend church weekly, family intact. Like most of those moms, I pass through the chapels doors with children in tow in various states of irreverence. And I probably ran out of time so I'm not wearing lipstick, one eye is twitching from all the reminding/nagging I've had to do that morning, or one of my little blondes has a head full of tangles. But hey, we're all present and accounted for!

On that particular Sunday, I was on my own. The Man was in a different city on a business trip. No worries. I'm a professional parent. This is why they pay me the big bucks, right?

It started off with a decision. I'd hit snooze one (or three) too many times and was now running late. I could either leap of bed, start the yelling early as I tried to get my kids out of bed while plunging myself into my closet in search of clothes, or I could take a deep breath, taking it easy.

I chose Door #2.

Rousing the sleepyheads took three trips to their bedrooms (except for Baby, who became my saggy-diapered shadow immediately) but the kids were up. Sunday clothes selected the night before, they set to getting dressed while I showered and got myself ready. Breakfast was eaten at a normal pace, which stopped the crying fits over being rushed into a meal choice (really, it takes careful contemplation as to whether today is a cinnamon toast kind of day or if cold cereal is better suited, or the whole day would be ruined). My makeup (aka: my war paint) went on while they ate. As soon as bums were out of seats, I gave them their instructions. Plates/bowls and cups on the counter, then get your bag ready for church. Since this was a no-yelling morning, I only reminded the distracted kids about their duties before moving on with my tasks. 

While I managed to eat something, Boo got Baby dressed. The Boy made sure her church bag was stocked with a snack and her current favorite toy. Slippery soft hair was combed and contained (except for the Boy, who nearly ran away from the comb screaming...I decided not to fight that battle). My bag ready to go, I ushered the kids into the car and we head to church.

No tears. No whining. No resistance. Smiles. Holding hands. Ready to worship our Father in heaven and learn of His Son. 

It was a great Sunday.

Also? We were half an hour late.

Just When I Expected the Worst

Sundays are kinda my day off.

Sure, I wake up the kids, approve church clothes, fix three heads of slippery soft hair, supervise the stocking of sacrament backpacks, buckle car seats, fix lunches, detail after-church activities, determine nap times, schedule home teachers, organize family dinner, prepare a large meal, and manage to include a nice dessert. But, still, it's the Man's job to supervise the kids during church, while I run around and attempt to keep tabs on the other 130 children (and no, that number is not an exaggeration).

This past Sunday, the Man was sick. I was on my own.

I asked the two older kids to please, please, please, for the love of all things chocolate-covered, please help me with Baby. They looked warily at their younger sibling but agreed. The fruit snacks only last so long. Baby gets wiggly pretty easily.

"What are we supposed to do?" Boo doesn't even bother to whisper.

"Just play together," I said, trying to catch the speaker's words.

And they did.

Zoobles hosted a tea party with Darth Maul. Littlest Pet Shops were Batman's pet dogs. The Human Torch became a trusty flashlight to retrieve lost crayons from under the seats.

As the first notes of the closing hymn started, the kids dutifully cleaned up, resorting toys back into their designated gender bias. I breathed a sigh of relief as little smiling faces hurried off to their classes.

Maybe I have this mothering-thing down after all!

Report

So last night's activity...well, it had it's highs and it's lows.

Things that were GOOD:

• My committee all showed all, had all their assignments fulfilled and then some. They are FANTASTIC! Thanks, everyone!
• The food - 6 foot sandwiches from Wal-mart - was surprisingly good. And they gave us waaaaaay too much. Sent home boxes of sandwiches with people, along with jars of mustard and mayo.
  
• Ward members brought lots of goodies (most of the dessert were chocolate!). I even got a slice of some excellent chocolate cake.
• Strawberry lemonade was a huge hit and we went through the huge spigot cooler twice.
• Great turn out! Lots of people came, including some I don't see at church all that often.
• Plenty of good conversation. There was so much talking, in fact, that I had to get my SWAT team buddy to use his deafening whistle so I could get everyone's attention when I needed to make an announcement.
• No one was injured or in any way made to bleed.
  
• No one told me (or said within earshot of me) that it was lousy.
• Currently, there are no pending lawsuits or people having lost their faith in God as a result of last night's events.
  

Things that were BAD, BAD, BAD:

• It rained.
• It rained A LOT.
• There was lightning.
• The pool closed.
• The pool did not reopen.
• Children cried.

**Thanks to those who have emailed me suggestions for future activities! Really good stuff! Now, tell me the things that did not go over well so I know what to avoid...

Fruits of Forgiveness - Revisited

**I may or may not be out of town currently...but if I am out of town, be assured that my house and property is protected by rabid dust bunnies. So you don't get too lonely, I'll be reposting a few of my favorites. This post originally appeared Sunday, Feb 18, 2007. It was my fourth post when I first started this blog.**


The topic for today's Sacrament talks: Forgiveness. The speakers had some good points (at least from what I heard between dispensing of Teddy Grahams and Time Outs). So it got me thinking...is there anyone I should forgive? Is there a grudge that I cherish too much to part with? The answers to both questions: Yes!

So I am going to offer my forgiveness twice. And if you aren't on the list, then send me chocolate and perhaps you'll make it next Sunday.

1) I forgive da Boo's preschool friend who asked me when my baby was due. My response - after my initial instinct to run weeping and wailing to the farthest corner of the playground - was a gentle "I'm not having a baby, sweety. I'm just fat." She's just a kid! And as such, still has the possibility of finding herself in the exact same dress size one day (I so believe in karma).

2) I forgive the banana. Well, not all bananas, just one. The one that I was eating in the backyard that fateful day...the one with it's tiny black seeds oh-so carefully arranged in a frowny face. That banana permanently turned me off to the yellow-skinned evil for years. Until today.

Today, in honor of the banana's new status of "Forgiven," I made a banana cake. For Christmas, one of the man's co-workers gave us a loaf of banana bread. Now, I've never had anything against banana bread. It never gave me a dirty look. This particular banana bread was beyond tasty. I got the recipe. Okay, so I made the man do all the gross stuff, like touching and peeling the bananas, mashing and mixing them, but I did the rest (and da Boo helped by stirring a bowl of flour for 10 minutes). Had to make it acceptable by adding a quick chocolate glaze but it was very good. I even ate a piece.

But I'm still not eating a full banana. Not even one dipped in chocolate.

When the Sunbeams hate you...

For those of you not familiar with the LDS faith and the names of it's Sunday School classes for children, you might think that I am referring to actual beams of lights from the sun and their apparent aversion to me. Nope. Mormon kids aged 3 to 4 years old are called Sunbeams. And since my beloved Boy is one of these, I occasionally get asked to teach his class when the assigned teachers are unavailable. Normally, it's fine and I enjoy it. Normally, the kids have a good time and even learn a little about Jesus. Normally, I don't spend the rest of the afternoon fighting back tears as I scour my many hiding places for more chocolate.

The Man says I shouldn't let it bother me. Then again, he is a man. He is also emotionally stable and has a healthy sense of self-esteem. But when a small child spends the better part of an hour muttering an endless - albeit creative - list of reasons why he doesn't like you, it tends to wear you down. I even brought candy! What kid's devotion isn't easily purchased by candy?

I'm just glad that when his parents picked him up from class they didn't ask how he was or I might have burst into tears and clung to his mother, asking her to tell me I am nice or funny or pretty - anything to make up for what her son said.

I'd write more but I think I'll go make some brownies...

You Say You Want A Resolution

Sunday, I had an airhead moment. So rare, I know. I was standing in the hallway chatting with a friend before I meandered off to Sunday School when two of my Activity Day girls poked their heads out of their classroom.

"Hey, Sister G!" they called, all excited to see me, "We don't have a teacher today! Come be our teacher!"

Now, normally, my little heart would swell with joy at being wanted and my ego would inflate faster than the National Deficit. However, at that moment I happened to remember that their teacher had asked me to substitute for her. Too bad I didn't remember sooner...like the night before so I could actually have a lesson planned! Oops! Still, we had a good time. We played Hangman with gospel terms. The first girl chose The Holy Bible. Going from there, I asked each of the girls to tell me their favorite bible story in their own words. This is always interesting (read: highly entertainingly!) to hear what they find important about these stories. Next, was Ten Commandments. After they solved it, I taught them a method the Man taught me for remembering which commandment goes with which number. This went over BIG TIME and we spent the rest of the class quizzing each other.

And now for my odd title up there. During Primary, the music lady asked the kids about their New Year's resolutions. One kid said that he didn't want to have a New Year's revolution. Then he didn't understand why all the adults in the room busted up laughing! So I am giving you a homework assignment: post your New Year's resolution on your blogs and then send me the link. I'll compile the list and post them here. And don't worry...I think at last count five people actually read my blog so it's not like you'll suddenly get tons of traffic and your blog will crash. I'm just not that popular. (Please participate as my ego is in desperate need of repair due to Sunday's deflation. Pretty please? I'll make you a cake!)

Scene At Church...

INT. CHURCH CHAPEL (AFTERNOON): During services.

Extremely attractive The Man, dressed in black suit and looking amazing, sits in back pew holding on his lap the Boy, dressed in white shirt with cute clip-on tie. As the Speaker talks, Boy squirms. The Man proceeds to keep the Boy occupied with saying words he knows.

THE MAN: Where's you're belly?

BOY: Belly. (pats belly.)

THE MAN: Where's your belly button?

BOY: Button. (yanks up shirt and pats belly...realizes that's not his belly button and begins to frantically search for it). Button? Button!

THE MAN: Shhhhh! Shhhhh, Boy.

BOY: Button! GONE! (search now includes the pew and the floor.) Gone, Daddy, GONE!

THE MAN: Shhhhhh...Here's your belly button, it's right here! (guides Boy's hand to the right spot.)

BOY: Button? Button.

THE MAN: Good job.

BOY: Juice?

Reasons Why I Haven't Updated...

Okay, I know it's hard to not hear from me for a few days but I have some really good reasons. Ready?

1. Still not quite over this. I hate coughing. I especially hate coughing since I had children. Moms know what I mean.

2. Monday a good friend asked me if I had time to make a cake for her daughter's first birthday. Her birthday was on Wednesday. Of course I said yes. She looked through my portfolio and really liked the cake I did for da Boo's first birthday so this is what I was doing most of Tuesday and into the wee hours of Wednesday...

3. Wednesday was one of those days where I don't even have time to sit still for a moment. I had my first dentist appointment in nearly 3 years. Turns out that they couldn't do a cleaning because I have a metal shoulder and there's a risk of infection (supposed to take antibiotics before). In the 14 years since I became a third less "humerus" I have never had a dentist tell me this. Oh, and I have one cavity.

4. Wednesday was also the second one of the month so I had the Activity Day girls to deal with. We made bird feeder by smearing peanut butter on pinecones and rolling them in seeds. HUGE mess, but fun.

5. Also had HFPE that night. Lots of fun! We each came with our purse, an index card with a "purse"-onal service we would offer and one item that showed our "purse"-onality. My service was having dinner with our family (with the chocolate fountain for dessert) and my item was a multi-colored pen ('cuz I like to pretend I'm a writer and those colors I had used in the cake I made the night before). For a service, I will get a dozen roses! It was a really fun night. But I was exhausted when I got home.

6. This morning, I went here. I stood in line for nearly THREE HOURS just to check out! I was done shopping! It was insane! They offered no apologies, no additional offers. Despite the awesome deals, I will not be going back. My feet still hurt.

7. A girl at church just had a baby. She's new to the area and they don't have any family close by. A friend was throwing her a baby shower...so guess what I did? Oh come on, guess! You really should know me well enough by now...

I made it to match the plates at the shower. Not as cute as some of my other ones but still fun to make.

So I got home from the baby shower earlier tonight and put the kids to bed. The Man is still not home. It's crunch time at work. I'm used to not having a husband for the month of March...and did I mention that my in-laws are arriving on Sunday? There's no rest for the weary.

Fruits of Forgiveness

The topic for today's Sacrament talks: Forgiveness. The speakers had some good points (at least from what I heard between dispensing of Teddy Grahams and Time Outs). So it got me thinking...is there anyone I should forgive? Is there a grudge that I cherish too much to part with? The answers to both questions: Yes!

So I am going to offer my forgiveness twice. And if you aren't on the list, then send me chocolate and perhaps you'll make it next Sunday.

1) I forgive da Boo's preschool friend who asked me when my baby was due. My response - after my initial instinct to run weeping and wailing to the farthest corner of the playground - was a gentle "I'm not having a baby, sweety. I'm just fat." She's just a kid! And as such, still has the possibility of finding herself in the exact same dress size one day (I so believe in karma).

2) I forgive the banana. Well, not all bananas, just one. The one that I was eating in the backyard that fateful day...the one with it's tiny black seeds oh-so carefully arranged in a frowny face. That banana permanently turned me off to the yellow-skinned evil for years. Until today.

Today, in honor of the banana's new status of "Forgiven," I made a banana cake. For Christmas, one of the man's co-workers gave us a loaf of banana bread. Now, I've never had anything against banana bread. It never gave me a dirty look. This particular banana bread was beyond tasty. I got the recipe. Okay, so I made the man do all the gross stuff, like touching and peeling the bananas, mashing and mixing them, but I did the rest (and da Boo helped by stirring a bowl of flour for 10 minutes). Had to make it acceptable by adding a quick chocolate glaze but it was very good. I even ate a piece.

But I'm still not eating a full banana. Not even one dipped in chocolate.