Lessons Learned from Chocolate

Several years ago, I got a quote-a-day calendar as a birthday gift. Having known me for over a decade, the giver wisely chose one with a chocolate theme. I still use it and it still makes me smile. Or crave peanut butter cups, depending on the day.

Here's a quote from the Chocolate Calendar:

"I taught my kids to count using little chocolate candies. They could make it to 20 before either fo them started school, but I gained 5 pounds."

Some other things I've learned from chocolate:

• Nothing says "I love you" like getting your favorite treat (it means they've paid attention enough to know what you'd like).
• Chocolate bloom (that grayish film on some chocolates) has turned me into a chocolate snob.
• When in doubt, bake brownies. Everyone loves brownies! Need it fancier? Add a scoop of ice cream, chocolate syrup, whipped cream and a cherry. Anyone who refuses that ought to be asked to leave immediately.
• It's perfectly acceptable to have chocolate for breakfast. In fact, it may just be recommended, as it starts your day off on a sweeter foot.
• As luxurious as the bubble bath might be, it's just not enough unless there's chocolate to nibble.
• Children can be bribed with chocolate. Even the promise of one single M&M will bring out the unexpected in your little ones (like making their bed, being quiet for 10 minutes, or using the potty).
• I don't judge people based on their race, religion, or education, but on whether or not they like white chocolate.

What has chocolate taught you?

Pi Day, Pi Day, Gotta Get Down on Pi Day

So…did you remember that today was Pi day? Also known as Pie Day, for the consumption of mass quantities of pies.

(This isn't mine…here's the source.)

I spent my day at the eye doctor, and then selling my kidney on ebay to pay for new glasses for two kids. When we finally got home, I had a difficult time finding enough time out corners to contain all the attitudes that needed adjusting. I didn't get to make a pie. So sad. I am declaring tomorrow as Leftover Pie Day and shall eat half a pie straight out of the pan whilst it sits in the fridge.

Here are some of the dishes of deliciousness I am considering:
Peanut Butter Pie (but I won't be making my own peanut butter…)
Old Fashioned Fudge Pie (because everything is better with butter)
Little Lemon Meringue Pies (since they're smaller, I can eat more of them, right?)
Chocolate Cream Pie (I don't normally take my chocolate in pie form, but this is a special occasion)

What kind of pie did you eat? 

Or what kind of pie would you like to eat around midnight after the kids are in bed?

Perfect Vanilla Cupcakes

Yes, they really are perfect.

Since I make cupcakes fairly regularly, I'm always on the hunt for better recipes that will provide the best possible results. That was when I stumbled across a discussion about how to get perfectly domed tops on your cupcakes. Finally! Others were disappointed with flat or peaked cupcakes and knew how to fix it. Apparently, it's all in the way the cupcakes are mixed.

Perfect Vanilla Cupcakes
1/4 cup milk
1/2 cup butter, cubed
2/3 cup sugar
3 eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
Zest of one lemon
1 1/2 cup flour
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt

• Heat your oven to 350 and make sure the rack is set in the middle. 
• Use those really cute liners that you have stashed in the back of the cabinet - you know, the ones you've kept for a special occasion - because these cupcakes are worth it! Place liners in a 12-count muffin tin. 
• Now for the weird part: Pour milk into a small saucepan with the chunks of butter. Turn to medium heat and stir until the heated milk melts the butter. Set this aside to cool. You don't want it too hot when you add it in later.
• Whisk together sugar, eggs, and vanilla extract. Kept working at it until it's thick and creamy (but be careful that you don't get too many air bubbles).
• Now you're ready for the butter/milk. Mix that in nice and gentle.
• Dump in the rest of the ingredients. Be careful not to over-mix here. Stirring too much will wear out your baking powder and then perfection is unobtainable.
• Next, we need to fill up the liners to 3/4 full. My preferred method of dispensing batter is an ice cream scoop that has the scrapper-thingy (because I'm all technical) that wipes out the inside with the press of the lever. Less messy than using your finger.
• Bake these future beauties for 17-20 minutes, or until a toothpick stuck into the center comes out clean.
• Stand back in awe of your mad kitchen skillz.
• And in the off-chance that you get one of the pesky peaks, use the back of a clean spoon to gently flatten the top back down to domed-ness.

Now you're ready to frost these gorgeous cups of love!
But that's an entirely different post...

Question for you...

How many Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches can I eat in an evening before it's no longer considered low fat?

Obligatory First Day of School Posting and Evidence of How Cruel I Have Become

Wanna see da Boo on the first day of school? Of course, you do! Why else would you be here? My contest is closed and it's not like I post much of interest lately...

Anyway, here she is:


We had a bit of a clothing emergency the night before school started. See, I recently discovered Crazy 8's clothes and I really love them. I had an outfit all picked out for that big first impression, but when I went to lay it out for her...the skirt looked ginormous. She tried it on and it slid down her hips. Not exactly the look I was going for. Luckily for us, we were also out of bread and milk and baby wipes so a trip to the store was already essential. I joined the ranks of the forlorn, hunting for correct sizes amongst the picked-over racks in Target (since I'd much rather give them my money than Wally World). And since the mall was already closed. I found this ensemble still on sale. Crisis averted!


The Boy starts kindergarten this year but not until next week. He's looking forward to riding the bus but not actually going to school. I think it's because he's going to miss me. And you can't really tell from this picture but his shirt has a zombie on it, demanding "BRAAAAAINS!" Apparently I am not the only one anticipating an undead apocalypse. We just vary in how excited we are at that prospect.

One of the things I like about my community are the seasonal traditions we developed over the years. For instance, on the first day of school, parents and kiddos gather at the bus stop, bringing breakfast with them. We've turned it into a fun little party; a nice way to send the kids off to school, where we can give high-fives to other moms or maybe even hand over the tissues to the occasional teary-eyed ones, all while we munch on donuts and silently pray that our daughter doesn't dump that whole cup of chocolate milk down her shirt because boy howdy, would we be in a fix. Or at least, most people bring donuts....Remember how I am trying to trim down my fluffiness? And have I mentioned how we're getting much better at recycling? So I stroll up to the party carrying this:


Mmmm...totally drool-worthy. Oh, but wait! I haven't opened it yet! Inside? Are these:


Frozen grapes. Like popsicles without the sticks and in wrappers that you eat! Who wouldn't love 'em? Well, everyone who was expecting cream puffs, apparently. I think they're the perfect snack to eat just before the kids get home from school, you know, so you have the energy to finally get out of bed and get something done, other than determining if those teens shuffling down the street might be looking to increase their grades by eating your brains.

Fight the Fat*

Yeah, so...I'm fat.

I've come to grips with it. And really, it isn't all that terrible. I don't get too cold in the winter because of all the added insulation. People usually avoid sitting right next to me on airplanes so I get extra elbow room. And our waiter never forgets to bring around the dessert tray. Being fat ain't all that bad.

But then again, I own a mirror.

I'm trying to be better. I have since dropped my addiction to Nutty Bars and switched to diet sodas (and usually only one a day). Even the Wii Fit and I are on speaking terms again. Progress with diet alone is s-l-o-w...so I gave in and started exercising.

I hate exercising.

I especially hate it when the kids are around and want to know why I'm breathing so loud, why I'm all sweaty, and whether or not what I'm doing is any fun.

No. No, it's not fun.

I have a few friends that are runners; even participating regularly in such insane endeavors as marathons. They rave about endorphins and sleek muscles, even about the thrill of the run. So I'd like to ask them: When does running become fun? At what point will I start looking forward to the pounding of pavement?

In my efforts at improved hawtness, I started the Couch-to-5k program. It boasts of taking a couch potato and turning them into a runner fit for a 5k. I would only have to work out three days a week and would be running the races in nine weeks. Easy enough. I even found a 5k that was close enough, supported a cause I believed in, and actually sounded like fun. Sweet.

At Week 3, I fizzled. It was just so hard. And not getting any easier. I dreaded getting on the treadmill. Dreaded it...almost to the point of crying.

So I stopped.

And I gained three pounds.

Now, I've started again. Back to Week 1.

Please tell how I can make it not suck this time around...I really don't want the Wii to yell at me...

* A direct quote from the Wii Fit. It totally hates me.

Hey, good lookin', watcha got cookin'?

I hate breakfast.

Always have.

Breakfast cereal manufacturers say its the most important meal of the day but I nearly have to choke down that bowl of cereal. Ugh. I don't like my food cold and wet (unless it happens to be ice cream). I don't like food that gets soggy. And it is inevitable that my breakfast will get soggy. I have three small children in varying states of panic in the morning. Cereal is never a good choice for me.

I like my breakfast hot. Preferably melty. That's not always practical on a typical morning in the Cow household. And did I mention I'm not that big a fan of eggs and omelets? Ideally, I'd like to have a sausage and cheese croissandwich from Burger King every morning. But that's not exactly conducive to my weight loss goals.

While trying to have something in my stomach for breakfast, I've been drinking an Instant Breakfast or a Slim Fast shake (when I remember to buy the mix and we're not out of milk). It is easy enough to drink down, leaving one hand free to brush hair, retrieve shoes, and even manage buttons. But it doesn't keep me full. Within an hour, I'm getting hungry again.

So, what does that leave me that's not cold, potentially soggy, hot, melty, not eggs, keeps me full longer and is reasonably good for me? Diddly squat, that's what.

Or at least that's what I thought...

At a friend's suggestion, I tried steel cut oatmeal. It takes some time and usually ends up overflowing, getting burned or congealed while I give orders gentle instructions to my brood. So I switched to instant. Have you seen those little packets? Kinda small and not very filling, either. I felt like a big ol' glutton dumping in two packets, though. Of course, the flavors I like (peaches and cream, apples and cinnamon) are the high-sugar options. However, I recently found a "weight control" option that provides a slightly large portion while cutting down on sugar and fat. But oatmeal just isn't tasty on it's own and I don't keep fresh berries on hand to spruce it up. So here's where the melt factory comes in: I add a tablespoon of chocolate chips. They're the semi-sweet kind so have less fat and sugar than the milk option and a little bit goes a long way. The chips are nice and melty after sitting on a steaming bowl of oatmeal while I'm kicking escorting children out the door to school, and when mixed together, they are tasty, tasty good!

What do you eat for breakfast?

High Resolution

I'm late with the resolution/recapping the year post. But then again, I'm usually late with just about everything. I was even 45 minutes to my wedding reception (and not even for a sexy reason: I was locked out of my hotel room and my dress was in there). I'll have to ask my mom, but I'm pretty sure I was a few days past my due date.

Anyways...

I've been thinking a lot about the last year. So many good and wonderful and cuddly things happened. Then there were the not-so-great things (that I am still not allowed to blog about).

So how do I want this year to be better? Well, for starters, I'd like to no rush to the hospital quite so often. But I think most of my goals boil down to this: DO MORE.

More Family Home Evenings that have a real lesson and not just watching a movie.

More playing with my kids instead of listening to them play while I blog check Facebook read a book.

More writing, editing, and getting serious about the "get published" dream I've had for years.

More physical activity. I complain about my weight but I'm only half-hearted about changing that.

One thing I'm going to start is a program called Couch to 5k. It's a paced running program designed specifically for non-runners (aka: couch potatoes). It starts you off nice and easy, with walking, and only requires three sessions a week. I can do that! So many people in my circle of friends have started running, even taking on marathons, 5ks, and triathlons. Surely I can do more besides jog down the stairs to get another handful of chocolate. I need to do more!

Anyone want to start the program with me for moral support?

*And don't forget to enter my frozen contest going on right now!