600 Zombies

Lately, it seems like zombies are already taking over the world. Or at least my world. And since I am the center of the universe, it affects everyone. And really, if there was a zombie invasion, wouldn't you want to know about it?

Innocently enough, it started with Facebook. One day, we might discover that the fall of mankind began with a status update, but in my case, it was flair. Flair is a collection of clever/funny/mushy/serious images and sayings in the shape of buttons. Like those you might wear on your rainbow-colored suspenders. I found one that was clever and cute and oh so innocent:

Things started to snowball from there.

I read "The Forest of Hands and Teeth" by Carrie Ryan while we were camping down in Moab...causing me to have zombie-induced nightmares the entire trip.

As if wiggling in a sleeping bag out in the middle of the wilderness isn't enough, reading about a girl running through the wilderness being chased by zombies isn't conducive to a good night's sleep. I liked the story, but because of the nightmares, I won't read the sequel. At least, not unless it's full daylight outside, all access points to my house are barricaded, and I can hold a baseball bat in my free hand.

Then my favorite radio station recently fired all the djs and now only plays 90s music. So I've heard the Cranberries' "Zombie" quite a bit lately. A teenaged acquaintance was horrified that I didn't know Rob Zombie's music. And after listening to it, I think I was better off oblivious.

Sadly, one of my favorite Twilight-themed blogs went dormant but I still like to peruse the entries. The last post? One that explains how Edward wouldn't be nearly as desirable if he were one of the living dead. True enough. As if sparkling wasn't enough of a turn-off, attempting to eat my brains during a make-out session would definitely kill the moment.

One of my can't-decide-if-I-really-like-it-but-I-can't-stop-watching movies is Shaun of the Dead.

Thinking this was a silly comedy, I made the mistake of trying to watch this while the Man was out of town. At night. With no viable weapons in the house (we don't own a Cricket bat) and surrounded by plate glass windows just begging to be smashed by decaying limbs.

Now, I see zombies everywhere...in other books, casual mentions on tv, otherwise innocent conversations, and even in the mirror when I have to wake up extra early to get the kids ready for the Fourth of July parade. It's inevitable. The zombies are coming.

The final straw arrived in my email the other morning:

Oh my...

During a zombie invasion, what would you do to survive?