We Want To Know - even if I am a day late

So this was supposed to go up yesterday but I wanted to post Boo's photo instead and since I'm the boss, I get to do what I want. Hmmm...I think I need another piece of fudge before continuing this post...hehehehehe...

Okay, now on to the questions!

{1} If the blogging world had a talent show, what would your act be?

Going days without posting and causing my readers to lose interest. Alright, I'll be serious. I'd have to show off my cakes first. Then maybe I'd regale you with my endless supply of knock-knock jokes.

{2} What's the most likely reason you might become famous?
Honestly, my fame would probably come from having hiccups for ten months straight or being the innocently oblivious bystander that gets hit in the face with the game ball. Really, I'd like to one day be known -- if not famous -- for my published writing, but only if it's the good kind of famous.

{3} What question are you repeatedly asked that you are tired of hearing?
"Are they twins?" I get asked this nearly every time I have Boo and Boy together out in public. And no, they're not twins; they're 2 1/2 years apart. They definitely look like they're closely related because -- and here's the shocker! -- they ARE!

{4} What's the last thing you broke?
A nail. This morning. On my toothbrush. Talented, I know.

{5} Finish this sentence. I can't believe I used to ________.
Line dance. It wasn't just the line dancing but the wearing of tight jeans, boots, and such out in public while performing these atrocities against polite society. The Texas heat can do crazy things to a person.

Answer one of these questions in the comment! (Or make fun or mine...whichever...)

Blazing Minds want to know!

I haven't posted for a bit because all the drafts I've produced seem so serious and somber. I'm taking a cue from Milli Vanilli and blaming it on the rain. So while searching for a little levity, I came across a blog from the UK called Blazing Minds that posts all kinds of memes and blog prompts. Their prompt for today:

Name 6 things that you did more before you discovered social networking.

Okay...

1. Blogged.
2. Read blogs.
3. Hung out with my bloggy buddies. Seriously, I haven't seen most of 'em in ages. I'd rather be chatting over chocolate cake instead of running into them randomly at the grocery store when I'm not wearing any makeup and my hairstyle is questionable.
4. Wondered what happened to those people in high school...you know you want to know, too! There are the unexpected deaths but also the big jerks that are now good dads, the fat girls turned skinny (and vice versa). 
5. Writing whatever came to mind. Now, I'm a lot more structured in what I write and how I go about putting it into nouns and verbs and dangling participles. How did that change because of social networking? I've met actual published writers who shared their knowledge. And that has made all the difference.
6. Cleaned my house. Seems like I spend a lot more time checking in on my cafe and mafia than I should. I ought to be cooking real food and less of it virtually.

What's one thing you did more before social networking?

And I'm hosting another swap starting Monday! Look for the post with information and ways to signup!

ABCs and Me

Seems like ages since I've done a meme...found this one at Hairy Shoe Fairy and decided it might just be time to do another one. Aren't you lucky?

• A. Age: 29.95 plus shipping and handling. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
• B. Bed size: Queen. Although we could probably get away with having a Twin since the Man insists on sleeping on my side of the bed.
• C. Chore you hate: It's a tie between mopping the floor and cleaning the shower. Both are semi-painful due to my Bionic-ness.
• D. Dogs: Wish I had one! The Man says we have to wait until Baby is potty-trained...something about only one thing pooping on the floor at a time. But I've always loved dogs, especially really big ones.
• E. Essential start to your day: Hugs. I have a much better mind-set when I've given everyone a hug and told them how much I love them. Keeps my priorities straight.
• F. Favorite color: A nice deep blue. Not navy and not electric.
• G. Gold or silver: Silver. Definitely.
• H. Height: 5 feet 3 inches. Yeah, I'm short. Dynamite comes in small packages.
• I. Instruments you play: Does the radio count? One of these days, I really ought to take piano lessons with my kids.
• J. Job title: Domestic Goddess. Seriously, you try doing this job without the aid of supernatural powers.
• K. Kids: Three. Boo, Boy and Baby. And we're done.
• L. Live: In Utah. Never thought I'd be here longer than it took to finish college. I graduated 11 years ago. Must be my addiction to fry sauce that keeps me here.
• M. Mom’s name: Mom? Not really sure what I'm supposed to put here...Seems like my name is less frequently "Mom" and more like "Mooooooooooooooom!"
• N. Nicknames: Jessica G., Jess, Jessie (but you're not allowed to call me that unless we are blood relatives), and Jessica-messica. That last one is from my mom. It's not entirely unfounded.
• O. Overnight hospital stays: For the past 12 years, the only time I've been in a hospital overnight was when I had a baby. Now, before that, it gets a little more interesting, being Bionic and all.
• P. Pet peeve: When people say they could care less. When I try to correct them, they say it's perfectly acceptable both ways. No. No, it's not. Then there would be no reason to say it at all! Find yourself a new catch phrase, my misguided friend.
• Q. Quote from a movie: "Mmmmm...chicken, good!" - Leelu, The Fifth Element. I say this anytime I am dealing with chicken. My kids think I'm nuts.
• R. Right or left handed: Right.
• S. Siblings: Four brothers and two sisters.
• T. Time you wake up: I get up in time to make sure Boo isn't going to school in the same outfit she wore yesterday and that she gets out the door in time to make the school bus. I've been known to go back to bed if Baby isn't awake yet. I am so not a morning person.
• U. Underwear: Umm, yes?
• V. Vegetables you dislike: All of them! Well, that's not true...I really like that purple cabbage and carrots and corn, although someone told me once that corn isn't actually a vegetable. Never cared enough to check their facts, though.
• W. What makes you run late: My laptop. It sucks me in and traps me there until I've checked my email, looked at Facebook, and maybe read a news article or two. It's that and my horrible sense of timing.
• X. X-Rays you’ve had: Lots on my shoulder. Wanna see 'em? Come on over! Bring the popcorn.
• Y. Yummy food you make: Believe it or not, but I can't really cook. At least, not beyond the basics. Now, ask me if I can bake and I will totally school you.
• Z. Zoo- favorite animal: Beluga whales. Not your typical zoo animal. I love those gorgeous, graceful, odd-looking creatures!

I'm not going to officially tag anyone because I don't want to cry if they won't accept. Please feel free to take this one and link back in the comments if you do it!

Jubilant Jessica Judges Jazz

I can't think of anything halfway interesting to post. It's kinda like this flair that I have on my Facebook page (because flair is awesome). It says "I can't brain today...I have the dumb." So I am going to make all of you suffer through my dumb and read this meme. I've seen a couple different versions and thought it would be fun.

Apparently, everything has to start with the first letter in your first name and you can't copy what someone else wrote but no one else was a J so I can't cheat anyway (darn it).

1. What is your name: Jessica
2. A four Letter Word: Jump (for my love)
3. A boy's Name: Jackson (or if you live in Utah, Jaxon)
4. A girl's Name: Judy
5. An occupation: Jury rigger
6. A color: Jade
7. Something you wear: Jeans
8. A food: Jelly beans
9. Something found in the bathroom: Jewelry
10. A place: Jamaica
11. A reason for being late: Just woke up
12. Something you shout: Jerk! (but only while driving and to people I don't know)
13. A movie title: Jumanji
14. Something you drink: Juice
15. A musical group: Jimmy Eat World
16. An animal: Jaguar (thank goodness my name doesn't start with N!)

So the next time your brain has the dumb, feel free to post this!

The Final Battle

I cannot for the life of me find anything of interest to post these days. I'm sure you don't want to hear about my new electric toothbrush and how I feel like it rattles my brain when I use it but dang, my teeth feel good. And you're probably sick of hearing about how wonderfully cuddly Baby is (but she is!) so I won't talk about that. Instead, I am going to subject you to a meme that I did a while ago but never posted. I saw it again on a friend's blog and remembered it. Here ya go! You can thank me later.

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Have Fun. (Well, if you insist...)

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY....?
"Mary" by Sarah McLachlan (It's actually a rather depressing song about feeling alone. 'Alone' is not how I'd describe my days currently. I can't even go to the bathroom by myself.)

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
"Cupid's Chokehold" by Gym Class Heroes (The Man might describe our relationship like this...)

WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
"Kiss Me" by Six Pence None the Richer (You can tell a lot about someone just by kissing them...not that I kiss just anyone. I have to be married to you. Or you have to pay me. Or give me chocolate.)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
"Mr. Heatmiser" by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy (Except that it's not hot...my feet are cold.)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
"Get Over it" by the Eagles (Well, I do tend to hold grudges...I think my iTunes is sick of playing all my mood music when I'm feeling pouty.)

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
"Don't Speak" by NoDoubt (Had to laugh at that one...anyone who knows me knows that you can't get me to shut up. So maybe this should be my motto.)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
"My Eyes" from Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog (Interesting song sung by Dr Horrible about society's decay and the female love interest about how there's hope...so I guess it means that I'm a pessimist but my friends think there's hope for me?)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"Crush" by Jennifer Paige (And that takes me back to my eternal boy-crazy teen years, which my poor parents had to suffer through...)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
"Just a Girl" by NoDoubt (True, I am all about the pink these days.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR FIRST KISS?
"I Can Love You Better" by The Dixie Chicks (Or something like that...)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
"So Much For Pretending" by Bryan White (Wait, are my iTunes trying to tell me that my friends are imaginary? 'Cuz that would certainly explain a few things.)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
"Ice Cream" by Sarah McLachlan (That about says it all.)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
"Irreplaceable" by Beyonce (Yep. No one microwaves dinner like I do.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"White & Nerdy" by 'Weird Al' Yankovic (Please, please do not tell the Man...but it kinda fits. It fits rather well, actually.)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"Ain't No Sunshine" by Bill Withers (Well, it did snow on my wedding day...which was in MAY.)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"Killing Me Softly With His Song" by the Fugees (Now, that's rather fitting. I would much rather be killed softly as opposed to other methods.)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
"Come On Eileen" by Dexie's Midnight Runners (So I guess my interests include obscure 80s one-hit wonders and wearing overalls without a shirt on underneath.)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
"Lose Yourself" by Eminem (I actually almost skipped this one because I didn't want to admit that I have some Eminem songs on my iTunes...so I guess that is my biggest fear.)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
"Dirty Laundry" by Don Henley (Okay, okay...so I really need to do laundry. Stop nagging me already!)

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
"Insensitive" by Jann Arden (In a way, this actually fits. I'm having way too many panic attacks lately. It would be nice to not react that way to the simpliest things.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
"You're Gonna Miss This" by Trace Adkins (True, I would miss my friends, except for the fact that they're all imaginary anyway.)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
"The Final Battle" from the Les Miserables soundtrack (And that about says it all.)

Well, look at that...

Take the Quiz here!

Just happens to be one of my favorites! Although I think I have to disagree with the "tremendously attractive" bit. And I hope no one hates me after this but I prefer the Mr. Darcy in the new version with Kiera Knightly.

*Ducking to avoid all the keyboards being hurled...*

Pass It On!

Quite awhile ago, my friend had a craft Pay It Forward on her blog. The rules are the first three people to comment get a craft from the blog owner but then those three must do the same on their blogs and offer a craft to their first three comments. Easy enough, right?


She gave me this really cute frame. I'm not sure what I will make but lately, I've been playing with making jewelry and have gotten decent enough to where my creations aren't always crooked...or maybe I'll just bring cupcakes. :)

Any first three comments get a craft from me! After you see that you are in the first three, please email my duckduckcow gmail account with your address (unless, of course, you're my neighbor or related to me in some manner...) so I have somewhere to send the craft. When you've posted the Pay It Forward on your site, let know and I'll link to it!

Good Luck!

The Book Tag

The Ward Family tagged me for this latest meme. It's been a while since my last one so why not?

The rules:
1. Pick up the nearest book (at least 123 pages).
2. Turn to page 123.
3. Find the 5th sentence.
4. Post the 5th sentence on your blog.
5. Tag 5 people.

Okay, the nearest book was the one I just finished reading today: Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli.
"It seemed like a century."

Not a very interesting sentence...but not that interesting of a book, either. I liked it but it's not going to make my list of favorites.

So, people I tag are: Wendiloo and Kristin ('cuz they are my friends on GoodReads so I'm sure they're reading interesting books), Jo, Caroline and Angie P (because I'm nosy and wanna see what they are reading).

My Memoir

I was tagged by Rachel, the Pink Basement Dweller.

Here are the rules:

1. Write your own six word memoir
2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like
3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post and to this original post if possible, so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere.
4. Tag five more blogs with links
5. Remember to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!

My life in 6 words:

I write, bake, hide from kids.

(Sorry it's not a great image...I tried finding the original but had no luck.)

Here are the people that I have tagged:
Amanda (because she couldn't do the last tag, has to do this one!),
Kristie (because even though she said she posted the last tag, I never saw it and while I'm not exactly calling her a liar...I think her pants might be a little on fire),
Jo at Tangled Me ('cuz I think she would have an interesting one),
Brillig from T'was Brillig ('cuz she needs to post more so I have something to read),
Summer at MacFamily (for making me cry with her blog post about the professor with cancer).

It's All About ME

The whole premise of this blog was so I could talk about me. Me is my favorite subject. What could possibly be more interesting than ME? To prove this point, I am accepting a tag from Amanda. Besides, I have to make up for talking about someone else on my blog. Trust me...this is going to be fascinating.

10 years ago--
I received an upgrade as the Bionic Woman. Actually, I got a spiffy new metal shoulder. Replaced the half metal/half donor bone I had before. I now set off metal detectors at the airport but sadly, no magnets stick to me. Now I could officially say I had artificial humor. (See? Fascinating!)
And I was stupidly waiting for a missionary...yeah, that was a waste of two good dating years! But that's another post for another day...maybe.

5 Things on my to do list today were:
1. Decorate cake
2. Deliver cake along with da Boo and birthday present
3. Go to mall and herd children for Build-A-Bear party
4. Try not to sit at my computer, eating chocolate all afternoon after said party
5. Go to Plan B for dinner tonight because I don't feel like going to the store (supposed to have rotisserie chicken so I can make BBQ chicken pizza later in the week but it's gonna be spaghetti and meatballs instead!)

Snacks I enjoy----
Chocolate. My current favorite are those orange jelly sticks covered in dark chocolate. Also a few sips of Cherry Chocolate Diet Dr Pepper. I also have these 100 calorie packets of microwave kettle corn and those are quite enjoyable.

Things I would do if I were suddenly a Billionaire:
GET A DOG! Because this will be my money, right? It doesn't belong to the Man so he doesn't get to pick, right?
Hire a housekeeper for once a week...someone to clean the bathrooms, mop the floors...stuff I really hate to do.
Pay off our house and van.
Pay off my parents' "house"
Get serious about publishing my book.
Take the entire extended family on a vacation to Devil's Tower so we could run around it, clapping out hands together and pretending to ride horses...again.
Give a lot of money to charitable organizations that I believe are doing some real good.

3 of my bad habits---
1. Utter lack of "won't" power.
2. Extremely opinionated.
3. Tendency to get lost blog-hopping instead of doing the laundry (kinda like right now).

Jobs I've had:
Babysitter (I wasn't very good)
Cookie store at the mall (sold those giant cookie cakes, grew to hate the smell of coffee and the taste of macadamia nuts)
Telemarketing (sold credit cards...please don't hate me!)
Market Research (paid people to take taste tests, try out products, etc., which was really fun unless it was the weeks we were testing diapers...)
Mervyn's (still trying to block the memories)
Receptionist at aloe vera product company (routinely hit on by the illegal aliens working in the warehouse)
Product Line Manager at same aloe vera company (here's a tip: we made our money in the shipping fees!)
Volunteer Recording Program (read textbooks onto tape for blind students and possibly my most favorite paid job)
Assistant to financial adviser (was so not suited for that job but I stayed for nearly 3 years because apparently I am a masochist)
Momma (hardest work I've ever done but also the best)

5 Things people don't know about me----
1. I once hit a car in a restaurant parking lot and then drove away! (that's probably my darkest secret...so glad to get that off my chest! And before you start throwing stones, I was only 17 and scared! And stupid!)
2. I once got out of a ticket by crying.
3. I really like reading the Junie B. Jones books to da Boo. They make me laugh!
4. There are a total of 7 scars on my body from surgeries.
5. While I am a friendly person and talk to a lot of people, I really don't have that many friends, and by friends, I mean the people you can call at 5 in the morning to come watch your kids while you go to the emergency room, the people who surprise you with plates of cookies for no reason other than they wanted to do that, the people who don't treat me differently because I cannot raise my right arm to the square. Those are my friends. And you know who you are.

And now my turn to tag...Brooke, Suzanne, Wendiloo, and the other Brooke.

Let's See Whatcha Got!

The lovely and wonderful Robyn tagged me. I have to show you, my dear Internet, the contents of my purse. My neighbor buddy did this, too, and I have to say that they have far more interesting purses than I do...

Look familiar?

Nothing interesting...except maybe for the fact that I could only find ONE dollar! I think I need a raise. Also, my favorite color is blue and just look at how much blue stuff has accumulated in my purse...kinda eerie how nearly everything has some blue on it.

Looking inside other people' purses is kinda fun! Reminds me of that odd blog I found where people show inside their fridges. Out of morbid curiosity, I am tagging Amanda, Kristie, Debi, Heather, Lyn, Jen and Amber P. Let me know when you have your pictures up, girls!

Tag-a-licious

Kristie tagged me with this one. My very first tag! Yipppeee!

Here goes:

Jobs I've had:
1) Cookie Aficionado for GACC...in the mall...shear torture for a teenager.
2) Telemarketing - the really annoying kind, selling credit cards. I got cussed out routinely. Real mature people, picking on a poor girl who doesn't have a good enough resume to get a better job!
3) Temp Company. I got lousy assignments for the first few months, then got office work so that was more interesting.
4) "Team" member at Mervyn's.
5) Receptionist and then managed a product line for an aloe vera company.
6) Market research, the kind where we PAY you for your opinions. Hated the weeks we did the diaper testing (since the parents were required to bring the *used* diapers back).
7) Reading books onto tape for students at BYU. Possibly my favorite paying job.
8) Administrative Assistant for a financial planner. Possibly the worst job.
9) Wife and Mother. Best jobs!

Movies I love:
1) The Fifth Element
2) Stranger Than Fiction
3) The Princess Bride
4) Labyrinth (there's something about a man wearing that much make-up)

Places I've Lived:
1) Independence, MO
2) Wheat Ridge, CO
3) Carrollton, TX
4) Commerce, TX (for only one semester)
5) Provo, UT
6) Happy Place, UT (not gonna say the real town...remember, I'm paranoid).

Favorite TV shows
1) Heroes
2) House
3) Psych
4) The 4400 (although it's losing me...jumped the shark)
5) Medium
6) Burn Notice
But I don't get to watch a lot of TV that isn't pre-recorded.

Vacation Spots:
1) Zion's National Park. Any National Park, really. I'll even put the State Parks in there, too.
2) Anywhere near family (or in the case of my last vacation, with family).
3) London.

Websites:
I have a list of my favorites right over there on my blog page. And if you look a little lower, you'll see the blogs that I frequent. So there ya have it!

Places I'd Rather be:
1) On the couch, watching a movie with the Man.
2) Closer to more family.
3) If I have to be out of the house, I love to go window shopping. Don't have to buy anything, I just like to look.

People I want to tag:
Ummmm...most everyone I know with a blog has already been tagged...
1) Lyn
2) Emma
3) Kelly
4) Wendy
5) Tawny

And if you don't see this tag appear on their blogs, comment on there that they are being slackers! hehehehe...