"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." - Ronald Reagan

Monday, February 18, 2008

It's All About ME

The whole premise of this blog was so I could talk about me. Me is my favorite subject. What could possibly be more interesting than ME? To prove this point, I am accepting a tag from Amanda. Besides, I have to make up for talking about someone else on my blog. Trust me...this is going to be fascinating.

10 years ago--
I received an upgrade as the Bionic Woman. Actually, I got a spiffy new metal shoulder. Replaced the half metal/half donor bone I had before. I now set off metal detectors at the airport but sadly, no magnets stick to me. Now I could officially say I had artificial humor. (See? Fascinating!)
And I was stupidly waiting for a missionary...yeah, that was a waste of two good dating years! But that's another post for another day...maybe.

5 Things on my to do list today were:
1. Decorate cake
2. Deliver cake along with da Boo and birthday present
3. Go to mall and herd children for Build-A-Bear party
4. Try not to sit at my computer, eating chocolate all afternoon after said party
5. Go to Plan B for dinner tonight because I don't feel like going to the store (supposed to have rotisserie chicken so I can make BBQ chicken pizza later in the week but it's gonna be spaghetti and meatballs instead!)

Snacks I enjoy----
Chocolate. My current favorite are those orange jelly sticks covered in dark chocolate. Also a few sips of Cherry Chocolate Diet Dr Pepper. I also have these 100 calorie packets of microwave kettle corn and those are quite enjoyable.

Things I would do if I were suddenly a Billionaire:
GET A DOG! Because this will be my money, right? It doesn't belong to the Man so he doesn't get to pick, right?
Hire a housekeeper for once a week...someone to clean the bathrooms, mop the floors...stuff I really hate to do.
Pay off our house and van.
Pay off my parents' "house"
Get serious about publishing my book.
Take the entire extended family on a vacation to Devil's Tower so we could run around it, clapping out hands together and pretending to ride horses...again.
Give a lot of money to charitable organizations that I believe are doing some real good.

3 of my bad habits---
1. Utter lack of "won't" power.
2. Extremely opinionated.
3. Tendency to get lost blog-hopping instead of doing the laundry (kinda like right now).

Jobs I've had:
Babysitter (I wasn't very good)
Cookie store at the mall (sold those giant cookie cakes, grew to hate the smell of coffee and the taste of macadamia nuts)
Telemarketing (sold credit cards...please don't hate me!)
Market Research (paid people to take taste tests, try out products, etc., which was really fun unless it was the weeks we were testing diapers...)
Mervyn's (still trying to block the memories)
Receptionist at aloe vera product company (routinely hit on by the illegal aliens working in the warehouse)
Product Line Manager at same aloe vera company (here's a tip: we made our money in the shipping fees!)
Volunteer Recording Program (read textbooks onto tape for blind students and possibly my most favorite paid job)
Assistant to financial adviser (was so not suited for that job but I stayed for nearly 3 years because apparently I am a masochist)
Momma (hardest work I've ever done but also the best)

5 Things people don't know about me----
1. I once hit a car in a restaurant parking lot and then drove away! (that's probably my darkest secret...so glad to get that off my chest! And before you start throwing stones, I was only 17 and scared! And stupid!)
2. I once got out of a ticket by crying.
3. I really like reading the Junie B. Jones books to da Boo. They make me laugh!
4. There are a total of 7 scars on my body from surgeries.
5. While I am a friendly person and talk to a lot of people, I really don't have that many friends, and by friends, I mean the people you can call at 5 in the morning to come watch your kids while you go to the emergency room, the people who surprise you with plates of cookies for no reason other than they wanted to do that, the people who don't treat me differently because I cannot raise my right arm to the square. Those are my friends. And you know who you are.

And now my turn to tag...Brooke, Suzanne, Wendiloo, and the other Brooke.


Jan said...

Publish the book. Don't wait for the bucks.

Debi said...

I like your secret about the car in the parking lot! I also did something similar just after I started driving. It was the first day of my first job. I backed my mother's car into a wooden fence, breaking a board out. I looked around, no one saw it....so I took off with my heart beating 100 times a minute! Of course, that was before I was baptized, so that sin was wiped out. :)

Hollywood said...

Jessica, your Sven is all sewn up and ready to do. Email me your mailing address and I'll get him out ASAP. I'm at sarahflake AT gmail.com

BkenneyBme said...

ooooo, I got taged. I'll have to work on that later tonight. We definatley have free time to hang out. Are you thinking daytime play date or evening with the fams. I should probably call or email...

Kristie said...

You are so funny!! I totally enjoyed reading that. I always enjoy everything you write. I agree that you should publish something now and not wait!!!!! :)

Amanda said...

Loved learning some more about ya!

Rupper Family said...

I sure miss you, you're one funny girl! And just so you know, you could call me at 5am, although I'd take a few hours getting to your place! I know what you're saying about the friend thing-my kindred friends are all long distance-I don't have a go-to girlfriend here yet...still looking.
Do you notice that I check your blog daily and yet I rarely post anything on my own? I'll have to take you up on your tag, after I do my laundry.

The Ward Family said...

I posted my tag on our blog. It was fun to read about you!!! Wish we lived close still.

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