"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." - Ronald Reagan

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

The Wii Gossips

So you might be surprised to learn that we have a Wii. I never mentioned it before, right? And normally, we love it. The kids can play a lot of the games without constant assistance and not every game involves shooting someone. Ours was a house of harmony. And then we got the Wii Fit.

At first, it seemed harmless enough, encouraging us toward our weight goals and only briefly mentioning that we were so uncoordinated, it wasn't sure how we managed to walk safely. Whenever one of us would log in to play a few balance games, the Wii would ask us if we'd seen one of the other members of our family. Then it would casually remark that the family member had not logged in for a while...but that was no big deal. And really, conversations with the Wii are one-sided. The only response you can make is pressing the A button. No defending yourself, no explanations. Just press A.

One afternoon, the Wii had the following conversation with my daughter (I know because I was sitting on the couch, watching, and possibly eating a Nutty Bar). And the Wii is the one that changes the color of the text...not me and my snotty attitude.

Wii: Welcome back, Da Boo!
Boo: A
Wii: Have you seen Jess recently?
Boo: A
Wii: I haven't seen Jess in six days.
Boo: A
Wii: How is Jess looking these days?
(Then it gave Boo the rare option of an actual response. The choices were: looks bigger, looks smaller, looks more toned, looks the same.)
Boo: looks the same.
Wii: Really? Well...I guess that is possible.
Boo: A
Wii: Maybe you just haven't been paying enough attention.

WHAT??? SIX DAYS, people! I hadn't been on the thing for six days and it's already calling me lazy and - quite possibly - fat. And don't think I haven't noticed that it gasps every time I step on. The Wii is such a skinny punk.

Then again, just before my birthday, it reminded all the members of the family that my birthday was coming, asked them if they'd gotten me a gift yet and suggested they plan a surprise party. So it's not all bad.

Still...machines shouldn't be allowed to talk smack about you to your kids.


Jill said...

Do you think it could remind my kids to do their homework, clean their rooms and wash the dishes?
Because I would totally buy one if it could get them to do those things.

Robyn said...

Man, I need one of those!

Amber said...

I need something to shame me into working out.

Janell said...

Jill's idea is good:

Wii: I think Mario is a marvelous game, but you shouldn't play until your finish your homework.

Wii: Really? Even your English homework?

Wii: Don't make me turn myself off! Go do your English homework.

Kristina P. said...

So, I've really been thinking about getting one of these, but I have enough real people in my life that I disappoint, I really don't need an inanimate one.

Jan said...

I can't believe that the saying, "Wii told you say", is actually coming true. Watch out Jess. I don't think he has your back.

Kristie said...

Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm not laughing at you.....it's just that it was too funny! Makes me glad that I don't have one. :)

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

That is pretty darn funny. I totally need to program my computer to do that for me about scripture reading:

-"Have you read your scriptures today?"
-"Then stop reading blogs and go work on your priorities. Come back later."

Nat said...

That is funny!

Melanie J said...

Don't you get to stomp on it over and over again? Maybe it's just evening the score.

Jo said...

I don't think I want to buy a Wii fit anymore.

Deborah said...

That was great reading! We've come a long way from the Atari days!

Tipi said...

can you say "Maximum Overdrive?" :P

Marva said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jessica said...

That is too funny! I was laughing out loud. At least Da Boo said "looks the same". Because really, it's only six days.

Jessica G. said...

In retaliation for the Wii's disrespect, I haven't set foot on it for 12 days now. Take that, Wii!

(But now I'm nervous that it's going to tattle on me to the Man when he gets home...)

sillyhaywardfamily said...

Oh my that is so funny!!! I had no idea it keeps tabs on you!! Glad I don't have it!!! Just what I need a computer telling me I'm lazy!!!

♥miss~mattie♥ said...

That is really funny. I love our wii. I play it everyday. Well try.
Bye bye.♥☺♥

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