"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." - Ronald Reagan

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Smörgåsbord

Alternate Titles: "Whine, Whine, Whine and then Some Whining about the Baby" or "Prozac should come in liquid form so it works faster."

Oh, where to begin...

My neighbor made me a delicious cake as a thank you. I ate most of it myself (not all at once, I promise) and now that it's gone...it's all I can think about! She said she's give me the recipe and I'm about to go knock on her door, pen and paper in hand, so I can make it.

The Wii Fit's Balance Board should not be white. I think none of the developers have small children and therefore, do not know how dirty little feet can get. I know who was on the board last by the size of the smudges.

For some reason, I am incredibly grumpy today. The Man is trying his best to get me out of my funk but I'm just not feeling any cheerier, even though yesterday I went with him to pick out my birthday present (which is completely awesome and deserves it's own post). In fact, I'm wearing my maternity shirt with the grumpy bunny on it that says "You sure you want to start with the pregnant lady?" It should help me avoid the random confrontation, don't you think?

And speaking of maternity clothes, why are maternity pants so uncomfortable? It's bad enough that my body doesn't feel like my own so is it too much to ask that my pants at least feel normal? I even bought a pair of the new "Secret Belly" jeans from Motherhood Maternity and while those feel the best, they keep sliding down and I have to keep hiking them back up! It's not that they are too big because when they are pulled up all the way, they fit great. But then they slide back down and I start looking like a teenage boy who wants everyone to know that I'm wearing Calvin Klein boxers.

I've decided I've completely lost all mental capacity. Seriously, I might as well be a vegetable. The other day I could not remember where I was born. I was putting together a quilt block and kept lining up the fabric facing the wrong way. Then I'd double-check it, catch my error, only to realign it the other wrong way. I forget appointments. I forget if I've already brushed my teeth. I forget my kids' names (but what mom doesn't do that on occasion?). This baby had better be smart because she sure is making me dumb.

And she still doesn't have a name. Maybe my requirements are too strict. I like old fashioned names, names that aren't incredibly popular right now and her name can't end in an "ee" sound. I've taken to asking random young mothers the names of their baby girls. I think I might be starting to freak out some people but hey, it's Wal-Mart and everyone there is their own kind of scary.

12 comments:

Amanda said...

LOL! Your allowed to be in a funk! good luck with the name:)

Emma said...

You put a smile on my face even if you can't get out of a grumpy mood. Good luck with the name. Emma use to be old fashioned and uncommon, now it is popular. I hate that so many little girls have my "unique" name. GRRRRR

Jill said...

I have the same problem with the lack of mental capacity. (see, I even proved it with that sentence)
I've heard that a woman's brain shrinks by 5% when she's pregnant, and doesn't return to normal until the baby is 6 months old.
My baby is 3 1/2 years old, and the brain is still gone. I forget what I'm talking about mid-sentence.
It's sad. (and NO I'm NOT pregnant. This womb is closed)
As for baby girl names, if Max had been a girl, his name would have been Jasmine. Or Katherine. DH really liked the name Jacqueline. My brother likes the name Jocelyn. Sarah is a nice old fashioned name, but pretty popular right now.
Olivia? Jessica? Oh, wait, that's your name. See, that annoying lack of brain function kicking in.
I have a niece named Mia. I really like the name Bethany, but it has that "ee" sound at the end.
Old fashioned? Let me think.................
Margaret? Millicent? Elizabeth? Eliza? Pearl? Eunice? Beatrice? Annabel? Abbigail? Alissa? Arianna? Amelia, Camille? Clarissa? Brooke (not old fashioned, but I like it) Suzanne? Gabrielle? Gladys? Mabel? Bernice? (I actually know three ladies with those last three names, and they're all over 80 years old.)
What about "Aubrielle"?
I think the best thing to do while naming a child is that you include a middle name to make their name really long so that when you use their entire name, they will know they're in trouble.
Of course, as soon as you fall in love with a name, your husband will hate it because some stinky little girl in his kindergarten class had that name, or he dated like four different girls with that same name.

Jan said...

Its been years since I have been pregnant, but I can remember more now that I am not. Well not really. I want that shirt. That would give me all kinds of excuses. A whole cake almost? You go girl. You are so funny.

Amber said...

I've always liked the name Amber.. Just sayin.

I understand the grumpy. I'm that way this weekend too- but it has more to do with unhelpful people that I fed and then them not even offering to help with clean up (not Steve and the girls- but my mom and sisters even).

Um, yes, it is all about me- why do you ask?

Kristie said...

You are too funny!! Everyone is entitled to have a bad day (or even a whole weeks worth of them if you want!) :) As for the whole brain thing.....I say that I loose more brain cells with every kid that I have. Pretty soon I will have no more brain cells left. Maybe we should start up a brainless club or something......

Heidi said...

Whine away. You can whine as much as you want when you are pregnant or have a child under six months. That excuse has kept me in the whines for three of the last five years. Seriously, cling to it.

Nat said...

I have no advice on baby girl names, but I have awesome advice on how to keep your pants up! I had the same problem, so I sewed some elastic on either side of the belly band of my pants. When I wore the pants, I put the elastic over my belly, and my belly kept my pants up. It worked so well, I should market it! Anyway, try that. I promise it works!

Another maternity pant problem?! What do you do when your pants are resting comfortably under your belly and your shirt is resting nicely over your belly but there is a gap between the pants and the shirt and your tummy is exposed? Wear a tube-top over the bottom half of your belly and over your pants. Then you'll always be covered! It just looks like you have another layer underneath. Wow, my suggestions sound crazy, but they work well! Good luck, and let me know if you ever try those out!

Rupper Family said...

Jess,
when I was looking for baby names I started blog surfing and looking at everybody's kids' names, then everyone's friends' kids' names. I'd also check family history books and the credits of every movie I'd watch. Good luck!

Kenney Crew said...

I guess naming the baby after me is out of the question...dang it! I hear ya. I've been in a funk too and am trying to snap out of it. Whenever I think I'm getting close, something else ticks me off...maybe we just need some chocolate.

Kenney Crew said...

Oh yeah, when I was prego with Ryan I thought Ashlynn would be a cute girly name. It's kind of a modern twist on some old school names.

Tipi said...

I have always like Ophelia

I was not allowed to name a child that so I named a kitten I gave away that.

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