Smörgåsbord

Alternate Titles: "Whine, Whine, Whine and then Some Whining about the Baby" or "Prozac should come in liquid form so it works faster."

Oh, where to begin...

My neighbor made me a delicious cake as a thank you. I ate most of it myself (not all at once, I promise) and now that it's gone...it's all I can think about! She said she's give me the recipe and I'm about to go knock on her door, pen and paper in hand, so I can make it.

The Wii Fit's Balance Board should not be white. I think none of the developers have small children and therefore, do not know how dirty little feet can get. I know who was on the board last by the size of the smudges.

For some reason, I am incredibly grumpy today. The Man is trying his best to get me out of my funk but I'm just not feeling any cheerier, even though yesterday I went with him to pick out my birthday present (which is completely awesome and deserves it's own post). In fact, I'm wearing my maternity shirt with the grumpy bunny on it that says "You sure you want to start with the pregnant lady?" It should help me avoid the random confrontation, don't you think?

And speaking of maternity clothes, why are maternity pants so uncomfortable? It's bad enough that my body doesn't feel like my own so is it too much to ask that my pants at least feel normal? I even bought a pair of the new "Secret Belly" jeans from Motherhood Maternity and while those feel the best, they keep sliding down and I have to keep hiking them back up! It's not that they are too big because when they are pulled up all the way, they fit great. But then they slide back down and I start looking like a teenage boy who wants everyone to know that I'm wearing Calvin Klein boxers.

I've decided I've completely lost all mental capacity. Seriously, I might as well be a vegetable. The other day I could not remember where I was born. I was putting together a quilt block and kept lining up the fabric facing the wrong way. Then I'd double-check it, catch my error, only to realign it the other wrong way. I forget appointments. I forget if I've already brushed my teeth. I forget my kids' names (but what mom doesn't do that on occasion?). This baby had better be smart because she sure is making me dumb.

And she still doesn't have a name. Maybe my requirements are too strict. I like old fashioned names, names that aren't incredibly popular right now and her name can't end in an "ee" sound. I've taken to asking random young mothers the names of their baby girls. I think I might be starting to freak out some people but hey, it's Wal-Mart and everyone there is their own kind of scary.