"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." - Ronald Reagan

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses!

So far, I've really enjoyed being pregnant (except on my grumpy days). It's amazing to feel the baby move, to watch her grow in the ultrasound photos. Random people smile at me as I waddle past them. Teenagers hold the door open! Everyone - even complete strangers - offer congratulations. But what I love the most? The excuses.

If I don't feel like moving, I don't. Wouldn't want to put a strain on my body; its working hard already. If I don't want to walk fast, I don't. Same reason! I canceled a dentist appointment because not only do I not like them but because my gag reflex goes into overdrive during pregnancy and really, it would suck to puke on the hygienist. She doesn't get paid enough for that. Automatically, the sports sign-up sheets go right past me, then I don't feel guilty about not joining the volleyball team (and I'm horrible at team sports anyway). People don't call and ask me to watch their kids. No one looks twice when I scarf down two (or three) slices of cheesecake. Gaining weight is actually celebrated. Impulse buys suddenly are deemed "cravings." I am therefore legally and morally obligated to purchase two packages of Nutty Bars because I need them.

Tonight was another golden opportunity. I hadn't eaten dinner because I was late getting back from an outing with the Activity Day girls. But there was a Relief Society meeting and hey! They always have snacks. Off I went, tummy rumbling. When I sat down...I noticed immediately that there was no food in sight. I couldn't smell any aromas wafting in from the kitchen. I quietly asked the lady in charge "Are there any refreshments?" There would be samples after the salsa making class. I couldn't wait that long! My poor baby was starving! I whispered my plight to my buddy and she suggested I go get Wendy's. I'd be back before the main lesson ended and the classes split. And after all, I am pregnant. Anyone would understand. So a junior bacon cheeseburger later, I was contently listening to the rest of the meeting.

Ahhhh...
pregnancy is bliss.

16 comments:

Janell said...

The RS link you provided listed 3 purposes of RS:

1. Build faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and His Atonement.
2. Uphold, nourish, and protect families.
3. Provide Relief.


I think by not having sufficient refreshments for you and your baby they were totally failing on #2 and #3. ;)

Hurray for Wendys!

Tipi said...

LOL!

ah the benefits of pregnancy


to bad you pay for them all later.

Bonnie the Boss said...

Too funny and so true!

Diane said...

I feel awful!! My first official day on the job and I have failed!! I should have made the Wendy's run for all of us!! Will you ever forgive me???

Robyn said...

I love it! Really that is the best part of being prego, and how funny, that is when I know im pregnant, I gag brushing my teeth! Jas laughs so hard, he thinks it hilaraous!

Robyn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nat said...

I'm glad you have such a good attitude about pregnancy! I am starting to get baby hungry again, but I don't quite think I am ready for FIVE kids! :)

Luv2run said...

I would have to say I was hoping for something to eat at the start of the Relief Society last night too. Way to go to go get a cheeseburger. :-)

Kristie said...

LOL!!! You are too funny Jess!

Emma said...

You are hilarious! I totally understand, though my husband is unsympathetic if I play this card too often when pregnant. I have to look like I am in real pain. I am glad you taking the needs of pregnancy in stride. ;)

Adam and Kristina said...

Jessica, Jill literally just emailed me your blog, and I was about to read it, when I was interrupted at work, by actual work related stuff. I was extremely upset that I couldn't finish my blog reading.

She said that she's invited you to my meet and greet, and I would love to have you join us. You are very funny, so the crush goes right back.

And I think I'm going to pretend that I'm pregnant, just so I can get out of going to the dentist. Off to add you to my Reader and blog roll!

Jill said...

I miss those days of pregnancy.My favorite thing to say was,
"Please get me some chocolate. The baby want's chocolate right now."

Rupper Family said...

So when is your actual due date Jess? You've probably posted it, but I'm too brain dead to remember. And if you're having a c-section, do you get to choose the day?

Jessica G. said...

The "Official" due date is Dec 17 but since it will be a scheduled c-section, I am willing to go in to the hospital as soon as they will let me! I am hoping for the 10th. :)

Tiffany Wilson said...

PREGNANCY IS NOT BLISS! Despite being a good excuse, it does not eliminate the guilt you inevitably feel from eating too much too often, or from lying in bed all the time. I do admire your positive attitude, but I am SOOOOOOOOO over it all at this point!

DaisyJ said...

When I was pregnant my boss would always tell me that he and his wife had figured out that the amount of energey it takes to be pregnant is like hiking Mount Timp every day! Now if that isn't a good excuse- I don't know what is!

Blog Archive