"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." - Ronald Reagan

Monday, January 14, 2008

Infertility - There! I Said It!

The people who read my blog consistently are those that have known me since I was a boy-crazy teenager, boy-crazy young adult and then a love-struck (still boy-crazy...but now just for one boy) newlywed. Most of you know me personally, have been with me through thick and thin (currently, I'm pretty thick). You already know my story. Here are some of the minor details.

During the three-year struggle to have our first child, I joined several infertility groups and organizations. One, called A Baby Made, was all about helping couples find funding for those expensive treatments and injections required when the birds and the bees don't cut it. The head of that group would send out sporadic "newsletters" and rant about Corporate America's lack of compassion to those wishing to have offspring. His grammar was poor and his word choice was worse. After yet another tirade in my inbox, I asked if he'd like me to take over the newsletter, make it a regular, monthly affair (with a point! - but I didn't say that part). He accepted and so it began. I interviewed our members for spotlights, did some research on different options, etc. I wrote the newsletter for about six months...then the president had what amounted to a nervous breakdown and the group was shut down. Yeah, not such a happy ending.

However, I wrote a few articles for that newsletter that I am particularly fond of re-reading. One of my favorite pastimes is to go through my computer, reading over old papers or short stories or some of my articles. Then I either marvel at my articulation or roll my eyes at the obvious flaws - sometimes both...repeatedly. And since I love to subject people to my writing (well, not all of my writing), I am going to republish those articles here - but only the ones I actually liked. Not the dumb ones. Those will never see the light of a monitor again!

The reason I've been digging through my old folders? Well, remember how I might have mentioned that "wanting another baby"-thing once, twice, or maybe more? Yeah. That's not going so well. In fact, if the details wouldn't make you gag and possibly throw up a little, I'd share them. But I won't. Instead, I'll say that I have another fertility consultation with my OB, who will once again refer me to a specialist (because I am that screwed up, fertility-speaking) but I have no idea who that might be since my last specialist is currently in jail. Yeah, there's another interesting post for ya... So I gots da babies on da brain!

9 comments:

Kristie said...

What a great idea! I can't wait to read them!!!! You are such a fantastic writer! Okay, and as I side note, I just noticed that you are reading a book by Orson Scott Card for one of your book groups. Did I ever tell you that he was in our stake when we lived in NC? I have never read any books by him, but he was a pretty nice guy in person!

Amanda said...

I can't wait to read them either! I am so sorry you have to struggle so much when so many people get pregnant at the drop of a hat! I can't imagine the frustration or hopelessness you must feel at times:( Keep us updated and I will keep you in my prayers. An extra prayer can't hurt!

BkenneyBme said...

I'm sorry to hear you've made the "appointment", hope a cute little baby comes out of it!

Amber said...

Wow. Once again I'm amazed by our similarities. I figure once I meet you I'll love you because you're me- or hate you for the same reasons...

Debi said...

I love your writing, so I look forward to reading the articles, too. I'm sure you've already thought of having a blessing and putting your name on the Temple prayer rolls, haven't you? Good luck!!

Kristie said...

Okay, is it just me, or did you add another paragraph since I read it this morning? Please tell me you added more or I will think (or know) that I am going crazy!!!!!!

Rupper Family said...

If I could somehow box up my fertility and mail it to you I would Jess. I just realized though, even if I could post such a thing it wouldn't get there because with three kids, I'm a total shut-in with no plans to ever leave the house again, or get fully dressed, or get a full night's sleep, or get the house clean, or ever have a telephone conversation without screaming in the background, or wear a black top without having it covered in spitup...if you can come here and pick up my ovaries you can have them-that's what I"m saying!!!
I wish you luck and a future of being pooed and barfed on daily too.
Love ya,
Wendy

Jessica G. said...

Kristie - you're not imagining it...I accidentally posted it before I was done!

Kristie said...

Oh good! I mean, I know that my mind is going, but I didn't think that it was that bad!! :) Thanks for letting me know that I am not TOTALLY insane, just mostly!

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