Customer Satisfaction is Dropping

Baby was particularly upset. She didn't want to eat, didn't need a clean diaper, didn't want to cuddle and certainly didn't want to sleep. What she needed was her binky (her pacifier, for you non-parental types). Alas, it was nowhere to be found! As I looked, she was more and more frustrated with me, her cries growing louder and her face getting redder.

Finally, I found it. The Boy had claimed the binky to use on one of his stuffed animals. But once I gave it to Baby, she continued to grunt and growl her dissatisfaction at me, even as she sucked away on the thing. It was kinda funny, getting yelled at through a pacifier.

Items for today:
1) Get more pacifiers.
2) Explain to the Boy about how toys do not need binkies.
3) Contemplate keeping spare binkies out of reach of small children.

What Would Santa Do?

So this last week opened me up to a new level of frustration and eye-rolling. The Boy took "pain in the royal behind" to heart and made it his personal goal to irritate the snot out of everyone. Don't believe me? Here's a little sample of what he did just in the days before Christmas.

• Stole Baby's pacifier and hid it when he knew she wanted it.
• Tantrums unnumbered over the most seemingly insignificant things (like which chair he got at the dinner table - the actual chair, not the place at the table).
• After first engaging Boo in a hug, he proceeds to bite her arm so hard that not only did it bruise, but it also broke the skin.
• Snuck most of the Christmas fudge. It took me a couple days to catch on that I wasn't the one eating so much of it.
• Swung my painting on the wall until it fell off.
  
• Took any and every opportunity to annoy Boo, making her either cry or yell at him - both of which would result in them getting in trouble.

That's enough for now, but there are more. Even threatening to call Santa and then picking up the phone to do so did not deter his bad behavior. He spent a portion of every day in time out but it didn't seem to affect him. I was at a loss as to what to do. Maybe it is the new baby, the holiday season where his schedule is off, or the influx of sugar. Whatever the cause, his behavior was making me cry daily (that could also be the hormones, as I was already getting weepy over some of the Christmas songs on the radio).

Then I had an idea. Remember how he kept asking Santa for a spiderweb and I had no clue what he meant? I had planned on making one from red yarn but come Christmas Eve, me and the Man stayed up way too late (playing Rock Band) and I decided I just couldn't make it. And to be perfectly honest? I really didn't want to. So I contemplated leaving him a message from Santa, saying something to the effect of "Sorry, but you landed on the naughty list so no spiderweb. And next year, don't bite your sister." I thought it was genius! The Man and I snickered over it for some time but in the end, I didn't leave a note, either. Besides, even a personal letter from Santa himself would be lost on the Boy.

And you know what? He didn't even notice there wasn't a spiderweb on Christmas morning.

Would you have left the letter from Santa?

Christmas Message

President Hunter gave this advice during the first Christmas Devotional in 1994. I received this fabulous rendering of those priceless words many years ago, as part of the Relief Society's Christmas present to all the women. The message touched me so much that I've kept it with my Christmas decorations. I decided I needed to share it with others. And I tried to find out who the artist was but no one would fess up.

Hope you are having a very merry Christmas!

Best Christmas Present Ever

Merry Christmas! And God bless us, every one.

The hospital gave us this stocking when Baby was born, made by their volunteers. After the baby is bathed, prodded and measured, they deliver the baby to the mother tucked inside these stockings. Since Baby spent her first day in the NICU, we missed out on that so I had to re-create it at home. The shirt she's wearing was part of her take-home outfit. The tag reads "Mom and Dad's best present ever" and ain't that the truth!

(I started this post as a Wordless Wednesday, made famous by 5 Minutes for Mom, but this isn't really a wordless post because, frankly, its nearly impossible to get me to shut up.)

Quick Tip for Today

When changing your newborn baby, it pays to have another set of eyes looking out for you.

So when your husband says - just as you are opening the new, clean diaper - "Hey, it looks like she's trying to poop!" you might want to pay attention.

Lesson learned.

I'm Too Tired To Make These Into Actual Posts

You know you've been playing too much Rock Band when your three-year-old busts out with the chorus to "Eye of the Tiger" during dinner.

About the sexiest thing I've ever seen is the Man holding our baby. He's even sexier when the other hand is carrying a diaper and wipes.

The Man is blonde and blue-eyed. I am (or at least was) blonde and blue-eyed. Da Boo and the Boy are both blonde and blue-eyed. Baby is a brunette with green/hazel eyes. I think I might have some 'splaining to do...

Grandma G has gone home. Today is her wedding anniversary (Happy Anniversary!). I have seven days before my mom arrives. I don't know how I am going to survive. Please send fudge.

I'd like to get the Boy's hearing tested so I have solid proof that is he just ignoring me.

Baby has already acquired a few nicknames, one of which is "hobbit," due to the amount of hair on this kid, especially on her ears.

I've completely lost my appetite. It might be the pain killers or the constant...um, chest pain. I just don't want to eat anything besides chocolate pudding.

What do you eat when you don't want to eat anything?

Foto Friday #21

Its been a busy week around here with non-stop action every moment - for everyone else, not so much for me. Seems like every event for the kids happens while I am stuck at home. Not that having a wee baby fall asleep on you isn't the best feeling...still, I kinda feel guilty for some of the things I am missing out on.


It SNOWED!! I love the snow. Grandma G bundled up the kiddos and took them outside - along with a random collection of items from the kitchen - to make a snowman. We had to hurry and take a picture before the candy facial features melted. And yes, Boo is wearing pajamas. She went with her class that morning to ride the Polar Express. Pajamas were mandatory, apparently.


Boo made a snow angel. She did a pretty good job of it, not leaving too many footprints when she stood up.


The Boy had his class Christmas program. I stocked up on the pain killers and went. I was a little woozy during the songs but perhaps that made it all the more enjoyable. Afterwards, he got to sit on Santa's lap. He keeps asking for a spider web. Wha...? When I ask him to explain it to me, he says he wants a red spider web he can throw. Any ideas on this one?


And then there's Baby. Boo and Boy went to the mall with Grandma G and Aunt Denise to make Baby a special Build-A-Bear on the day she was born. Here she is with her bear. I wonder how long before she's bigger than that stuffed animal...AND! She slept six hours straight last night! Woot!

FHE: Christmas Story

Yeah, I know I'm late publishing this. I've collected my various excuses for your selection: new baby, no sleep, lots of drugs, no sleep, aching chest, no sleep...

Opening Song: Once There Was A Snowman (in honor of the recent weather)

Opening Prayer: Boo.

Lesson: Since Grandma G is still here for a few more days, we gave her the lesson assignment. For the Christmas, she got the kids a cute book filled with simplified Christmas stories from the scriptures. Easy enough for the kids to understand.

Using the Little People Nativity that we have, Grandma G read them the story of the First Christmas, giving the kids the different figures to place as she came to their parts in the story. Kids really liked it, although there were a couple scuffles over whose turn it was to place the donkey, etc. She kept reading until it was becoming apparent that we had lost their attention. Once again, its somewhat astonishing to discover what they already know (although I don't know why I am so surprised, considering how we attend church every week...).

Closing Song: - everybody say it with me!- Twinkle Little Star.

Closing Prayer: Me (after the Man strongly hinted that da Boo should pick someone who hadn't done anything yet. Yeah, thanks, honey.)

Activity: I had mentioned to Grandma G about the weeping and wailing that happened on a recent shopping trip after I said "no" to getting a gingerbread house kit. Anyone else not feeling like spending $15 for one of these things? Exercising her right to spoil the grandkids, she got one for them. But the candy inside wasn't enough for them. Soon, they were raiding every candy stash in the house (they found my M&Ms!) to supplement their design.


Treat: Since eating their leftover candy wasn't enough sugar to induce a coma, they also got donuts decorated to look like Christmas wreaths. Aren't grandmas the best?

And Some More

Another little update before some of you break down my door. Which actually wouldn't be too bad as long as you use antibacterial stuff first and bring dinner.

Baby is doing just fine. She's the tiniest, fuzziest little thing. And she's a good baby. Mostly she eats and sleeps, with some cute noises thrown in between. She's not quite convinced that there's a difference between night and day just yet but she did sleep for a continuous four hours last night so that's progress.

***Warning: if you are not female and, therefore are not fully aware of the lactation procedure, you may want to skip on down to the pictures, mmmkay?***

So...nursing is fine as far as Baby is concerned. Oh, she's a natural with no problem latching on although she might wonder why Mommy's face contorts and there's some colorful language muttered under breath but hey, she's loving the whole boob concept. Me, not so much. I know its going to take some getting used to and I should just suck it up for now but - in grand Utah style - oh my flipping heck! It hurts! I nursed with both of the other kids and had the Boy give me thrush so you'd think I'd know the risks going into this. Those free samples of formula are looking better every day...

And now to distract you with some pictures! These were taken on her birthday, when the kids came to meet their new sister for the first time. She was still on oxygen at this point so she has a tube attached to her face for that purpose.


Our new family! Da boo is a little mopey because she wanted to be the one holding the baby and the Man is bent at an odd angle because he is actually protecting me (and my improved midsection) from the wiggles of the Boy. Still...its great to finally have everyone together!


The Boy isn't quite sure about this whole "new baby" thing. He's very gentle with her (when he remembers that she's around) but is more interested in what's on tv.


Da Boo on the other hand, is completely in love with Baby. Whenever I need to get something (because I forgot it in another room or dropped it on the floor), she is more than ready to help. She likes to just sit and watch Baby sleep. I'm hoping this doesn't wear off.


I took this picture the day Baby was given "well baby" status. She had her tubes removed and some cute little bows in her hair. She's opening her eyes a lot more now and just loved her pacifier. That little blue rubber miracle saves my sanity at night...

The Second Time Around

Since the last one was about Boo, let's talk about the Boy!

While his was certainly the most active pregnancy, the delivery was the easiest. In fact, if your doctor will let you schedule a c-section, I highly recommend it.

This time around, I didn't have to have my cervix checked at all those baby appointments. That, in and of itself, is worthwhile. Then we just picked the date. The scheduling nurse and I had a discussion that went something like this:

Nurse: How about the 11th?
Me: Um...my mother-in-law doesn't arrive until the 15th so can we make it for the following Monday?
Nurse (after looking at my large belly): I think you'll go into labor before that.
Me: Yeah, not gonna happen. So the 18th, then?

Of course, I was the first surgery of the day which meant I had to be at the hospital by 5 am. Something you might have missed in all my other whining posts...I am not a morning person. And I get anxiety attacks over the simplest things. So Sunday night, I have my "last meal" which consisted of chocolate cake and chocolate milk, I proceed to have a very restless night. I couldn't get to sleep. When I finally did doze off, I'd jerk awake, thinking for sure that I missed the alarm and we would be horribly late. I finally gave up just before 4 am and got up to get ready. I wasn't supposed to eat that morning but honestly, I was so nervous/hyper/sleep deprived that I don't think I could have eaten anything.

I was under the misconception that I had a morphine sensitivity so they gave me a spinal tap instead. Not fun. It made my nose itch so bad, I felt like I was going to rub it off. Surgery went great. I was even joking with the staff about the name, since we hadn't settled on one for the Boy. My doctor was telling the stories about all of his siblings' names, all of which seemed to find themselves born on a holiday and then had a name that reflected that.

Then came the moment of truth.

Me: What does he look like?
The Man: Actually...he looks just like your dad.
Me: No way! Let me see.
(The Man shows me)
Me: Dude...he does look just like my dad!

This is probably the only time any family member who looked like my dad had less hair than my dad.

The nursery was super busy that day, with babies arriving all over the place. The Man got to stay with the Boy while I was rolled to recovery, and then to my hospital room. And the whole time, the Boy was kinda scooted over in a corner while the nurses worked with the sick babies. Finally, the Man stops a nurse and asks if they could please give his son a quick bath so he could take the baby to see his mother. When I finally got to see him, I wasn't exactly fully awake. In fact, I kept falling asleep in mid-conversation. Rather embarrassing.

My mother-in-law brought da Boo to the hospital so she could see her brother. She carefully held him as she sat on the little couch. What did she think? we asked her.


"He's cute," she said followed quickly by "he smells funny."

Indeed he does, Boo. Indeed he does.

New Mother

Since I would be recovering from having a baby, I've set up a few posts to automatically publish while I am away so you don't go into withdrawals. Aren't I the greatest?

Da Boo was a week late. I tried everything to get myself to go into labor but nothing work. The doctor wanted to induce me on Halloween. I actually argued for later...no way was I having a little girl with a Halloween birthday. Day after Halloween, I went to the hospital where they tried the induction, then told me to go walk around for a few hours. We went to the mall (I got a really cute Halloween decoration that was on clearance). Then I had a huge contraction in a furniture store. I think the store owner was more concerned about it than I was. We went back to the hospital. But I wasn't in full labor. More induction drugs and they sent me out again. This time we went to a restaurant. I looked rather odd standing the whole time and pacing the walkways but hey, I was having contractions! Third trip to the hospital. Third dose. This time, it was getting late so we walked around Target. Finally, they let me stay at the hospital.

Around 6 am the next morning, I asked the nurse if I was just being a wimp or if these were strong contractions. She said they were really strong ones and she was surprised I hadn't already asked for an epidural. I asked for one now. Unfortunately, the anesthesiologist on duty was getting to the end of his shift. If he gave me an epidural, then he would have to stay until I had the baby. They asked if I wouldn't mind waiting until 7 am, when the next doctor would be on duty. I agreed and then proceeded to whimper for nearly an hour. When he did come and administer the epidural, I was ready to name the baby after him.

Around 2 pm, after I'd been having full contractions for 26 hours, my doctor says he didn't think I would be able to have this baby on my own and that they really needed to proceed with a c-section. By this point, I was so tired and weak and whiny that I would have agreed to nearly anything just get that baby out!

While undergoing the surgery, I was so loopy that when I heard a baby cry, I thought: "Oh, cute! A baby!" Took a moment before I realized that it was MY baby!

After all that work, I finally got to see da Boo. Wanna see our first picture together?

In all fairness, I think I was actually talking when the Man snapped this picture. But I was probably saying something like "Wait...what do I do now?"

Debut

Just a quick update, between medication doses.

Here are the stats: Baby G was born at 7:59 am on Wednesday, Dec 10th. She weighs 7 lbs and 8 oz but is only a stubby 18 inches long. She has a full head of dark hair but won't open her eyes long enough to see the eye color.

The c-section went well; probably the easiest one yet. I'm fine and now completely wireless. The Baby, however, had to spend some time in the NICU due to excessive fluids in her lungs. As of this morning, all systems are go.



Congratulations to Kristie, who guessed the correct date and came closest to the correct size. I'll be sending your prize once I am no longer on narcotics.

*I will not be posting Baby G's real name or the hospital we are in for obvious reasons. If you would like to know, please email me.

Remember our "countdown chain" we made?

This morning, it looks like this:

Trying not to freak out, trying not to freak out...

I Can Totally Relate...

I'm making peanut brittle today.

Now I understand how Edward Cullen could want to make out with something that smells so good.

Earworm

Have you ever had a song that gets stuck in your head? You find yourself singing it over and over and over again throughout the day, no matter what you try to do to stop it.

I had one of those...



Now, I can't stop! Please send help...

What song gets stuck in your head?

Cookie Exchange!

We were invited to a cookie exchange this year. Last year, we missed out on a lot of the holiday parties because we left town. This year, I'm missing out on most of them due to a previously scheduled abdominal surgery. Kinda sucks. So I was pretty happy when I saw that I would at least get to make it to the cookie party. Although one friend said she was surprised to see me there, what the the contractions and all, and my response was "Hello! Cookies! I am sooooo there!"

Since I simply do not have enough to do, I decided to have my own little bake-off (instead of doing something useful, like sorting baby clothes). None of my current cookie recipes seemed up to par so I picked two from a cookie newsletter. We'd have a taste test and the winning cookie would be presented at the exchange.

First up: Chocolate Ribbon Cookies.


I had high hopes for these guys. They were so pretty and they had chocolate. Virtually perfect! But there wasn't much of a taste (maybe I should have used the rum extract after all). More like shortbread than anything else.

Then I made Peanut Butter Munchies.


These were a little more work but have to say, the taste was great! Kinda like a brownie wrapped around peanut butter. These won unanimously. I still have a couple downstairs and I gotta say, after writing about them, they are calling my name...

What is your favorite cookie to take to an exchange?

The Difference Between Boys and Girls: Automatic Flush

And once again, for my loyal readers who do not know the stress pleasures of having a boy and a girl...

It took a loooooooong time for us to potty train da Boo. Seriously. It was ten months before she was fully able to take care of business on her own. However, she didn't have nearly the number of accidents that the Boy produced. She just preferred to have us assisting with every step, while the Boy would just do his business wherever he happened to be at that moment.

After all that time, she was finally advanced enough that I could take her out for long errands without worrying. Then came a fateful day at Target...She sat on the potty, precariously perched on the edge. The commode in the next stall flushed rather forcefully and she nearly fell off in shock. She looked at me for reassurance but before I could respond, her toilet flushed. Within a fraction of a second, she leaped off the toilet and was frantically clawing at the stall door. I tried calming her down but it was hopeless. She wasn't getting back on that thing! It had tried to swallow her!

That was nearly three years ago and only just recently, has she been able to "produce" when she's on an automatic toilet.

Now, the Boy. While his potty training experiences nearly sent me over the edge, he was pretty much an expert in two months. He still needs help buttoning his pants (but then again, sometimes so do I). A little while back, during a shopping trip, he had to use the potty. And of course, it was an automatic flush model. No worries, he climbed on as usual and waited. Then, the toilet flushed violently, spraying water everywhere. He didn't even break stream.

"Whoa," he says looking up at me, "That was cool!"

From then on, all automatic flush potties are called "Rock Band potties." Because all cool things are related to Rock Band.

Foto Friday #20

How was your Thanksgiving? Did ya burn anything? I almost did...but just for the record, the smoke alarm was going off because its also heat sensitive and beeps whenever the oven is at 450 degrees. Then, toward the end of dinner, Boo realizes that I never made the stuffing. Oops! I promised to make some tonight when we eat leftovers.

Want to see some pictures?


In honor of Thanksgiving, Boo decided she needed to dress up as an Indian. But not just any Indian...an Indian Princess. And the Boy is just being his usual self in the background there...geesh.


Of course we played Rock Band before and after. The Co-ed asked the Boy to make a "cool face" as he wore the guitar and this is what he did. Not so much "cool" as "constipated."

The Man and the kidlets went to Costco a few days ago and brought me back these:


Rather pretty, aren't they? The colors are perfect for the season. But did you notice those little yellow things down at the bottom there? They aren't flowers. They're peppers! Interesting...and actually, kinda cool, too!

Now I'm off to eat the rest of the sweet potatoes for lunch...

What is your favorite Thanksgiving dish?

Some Funny for Today

Have you ever been to I Can Haz Cheezeburger? It's a fun little site, where they take pictures of animals (mostly cats) and add captions to make them funny (and the more misspelled, the better, apparently). The kids love it. We just spent nearly half an hour looking at some of the pictures. I thought I'd share a good one:

Now, get off the computer and get back to work on all that food prep and cleaning you have to do for tomorrow!

FHE: 2nd Annual Alphabet Blessings

Last year for Family Home Evening before Thanksgiving, we had an activity called Alphabet Blessings. It was a lot of fun and the kids enjoyed it so I decided to try it again.

Opening Song: Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree.

Opening Prayer: The Man.

Lesson: Since the kids were a little on the weepy side, I opted to skip the story that we read last year and instead we talked about what it means to be thankful. The Boy was getting very excited about it and even sang us the Alphabet Song (and did remarkably well!).

We started with the Man (because, as I found last year, when you're dividing the alphabet up in fourths, most of the tricky letters fall on whoever goes first). There were lots of similarities to last year's list but also some surprises. The letter D no longer stood for "diapers" (since no one around here wears them any more) and was now replaced with "drums." Da Boo was a little disappointed when her father declined her suggestion of "rainbows" for the letter R and chose "Rock Band" instead. Same story with the letter U no longer belonging to "unicorns" but my computer genius of a husband naming "Unix."

Funniest moment came when the Boy was asked to name a blessing for the letter X. Without hesitation or prompting, he shouted out "Xbox!"

The Man: And what do we do with the Xbox?
The Boy: Play Rock Band!

Boys...And really, Rock Band is the only game we play on the Xbox. Mostly, we play on the Wii.

Closing Song: Twinkle Little Star (because it just wouldn't be FHE without it).

Closing Prayer: The Man again, to avoid any arguments.

Treats: Root beer floats. Despite the chilly weather, da Boo was set on having ice cream.


**Thanks to everyone that left comments, emailed or called. I really, really appreciate your concern (and plates of cookies). Baby is doing well, just not liking all the squeezing going on since these contraction-thingers took over. And the Man made me promise not to do any more cakes for at least a month. *sigh* I like cake.

What Did You Do Last Night?

Me, I delivered a cake. Then I came home and just kinda sat around. Seems like something else happened...what was it? The kids were at the neighbor's house for some reason...

Oh, yes! I remember. I went to the Emergency Room.

While I decorated the cake, I was having so many Braxton-Hicks contractions, it seemed like they never stopped. But that wasn't all. Baby wasn't really moving much. Normally, she gives me a good kick periodically just to remind me that it ain't over yet that she loves me but not so much yesterday. It felt like when you first feel the baby move and are always wondering "Was that a kick or was that gas?"

Yeah. Not fun. Even after laying down for a bit, I was getting nothing. So off to the ER we went!

When they first strapped me in to the monitors, the nurse was having a hard time finding the heartbeat. My heart was pounding but she couldn't hear a little one. She kept turning up the volume and checking again. Finally, there she was!

They kept me about a hour for observation and then sent me home. Oh, and all those Braxton-Hicks contractions I was having? Turns out they aren't the fake kind! Those were real contractions! Just not strong enough to do anything besides annoy me. And I still get to have lots of them.

Oh, the joys of Motherhood.

Foto Friday #19

Almost missed it! I bet you thought I forgot...well, actually, I've had it planned out all day but had to get some time to post the darn thing. I've been fielding phone calls about my Twilight movie experience.

I was goofing around with my camera, trying out the different features when I discovered that I can take black and white photos. You probably already knew that because you are so very smart (and pretty) but I, obviously, am not. So of course I practiced on my two favorite subjects.


I really like this one of da Boo! She humored me and let me take lots of photos (I was also messing with the macro function) and seemed to have fun. Almost makes the Patsy Ramsey in me come out and start demanding she learn how to strut the catwalk.


And here's a typical Boy grin. He didn't want his picture taken and when I asked him to "Look at Mommy!" he would just kinda turn his chin a little, eyes glued to the Wii game he was playing. Don't you think his glasses are looking a little small? He's getting new ones but we probably won't have them until after Thanksgiving. They are the super-bendy kind. Hopefully, we won't have as many emergency trips to the eye doctor to get them repaired...

What cool thing can your camera do?
(And does anyone know why my camera is now taking pictures that are a much larger print size?)

How To Behave Like A Teenager When It Is Painfully Obvious That You Really Aren't One

Step One: Have a friend who is a huge fan of something, say like the Twilight series. This friend will then get you tickets to a midnight premiere of the movie.

Step Two: Dress the part. Everyone will be wearing themed shirts so you have to have one, too.

Step Three: Abandon all responsibility that you might have that evening and meet your friends at the movie theater at a time that is usually around your bedtime. Proceed to stand in line for a very, very long time. (Be very grateful that at least one part of you remained adult-ish and opted to wear comfortable shoes instead of your super cute ones.)

Step Four: Laugh, giggle, talk and just generally enjoy yourself while standing in line for nearly two hours. Once you get your seats, still laugh, giggle and talk but this time you can include talking about the people around you (one of which may or may not be an absolute freak - and not in a good way).

Step Five: Do not have a contraction! You are a carefree teenager! Not a full-grown, responsible adult, preparing to give birth in just a couple weeks. So that devastatingly painful ache that is gripping you? Maybe it was just something you ate.

Step Six: Clap for joy and cheer when the movie finally starts.

Step Seven: Periodically annoy the friends sitting next to you with your harsh critiques of the movie's progress. Join in on the various outbursts from other members of the audience.

Step Eight: Refuse to go to the bathroom. You are a teenager, you can hold it.

Step Nine: Marvel at the following - a) how far away from the book a movie script can go b) how bad the acting can be by supposed professionals c) how a man can be smolderingly delicious one second and then just look weird the next.

Step Ten: Stumble home, bone weary but somehow wide awake and attempt to remember that you are not a teenager. Wince at the resulting aches and pains as you try to fall asleep.

I give the Twilight movie a 3 1/2 out a possible 10. I won't go into detail here, because I don't want to ruin it for anybody who is really excited to see the movie...but I'll link you to a fellow non-teenager's review and let her blast your hopes out of the water. You're welcome!

My New Fragrance

In preparation for the upcoming holiday, I've been stocking up on the essentials. You know, like corn, yams, chocolate chips...stuff I really need. The shelves in the pantry are getting a little crowded. I thought there was still enough room so I kept cramming things in.

Unfortunately, a bottle of Liquid Smoke got far too claustrophobic and decided to end it all by leaping off the shelf. When it hit the floor, the cap broke off, spraying about a tablespoon's worth of liquid. And of course, I was in the heroic act of trying to save the bottle so I got a good dousing.

Now, I keep smelling the stuff. I've already washed my face twice. Doesn't help so the stuff must be in my hair, too.

Maybe we'll have ribs for dinner to cover the scent. The Man loves ribs. He might just find me irresistible tonight.

Foto Friday #18

Well, most of the week, my camera's battery was dead so I don't have anything to show ya.

Pictures I missed getting this week:

• Boo with her hairbrush stuck in her hair and her apparent obliviousness. And then she kept asking me where her brush was, getting all the more frustrated whenI just kept laughing.
• Boy, after pulling the bed railing off and setting it on the floor at bedtime, wedged firmly between his bed and the displaced railing while still staying fast asleep. He doesn't wake up for much.
• My totally awesome assortment of stretch marks. And no, I will not be posting a pregnant belly picture. Ever. Don't ask. It's ain't gonna happen, not even if you get me drunk on dark chocolate - although you're welcome to try it .

To make up for no photos on Foto Friday, check out the Cake Cow later tonight (or possibly tomorrow) to see what I've been up to today.

FHE: The Final Countdown

We've been slacking on the Family Home Evening front. I blame it on the baby.

Monday, I got all ambitious during the day and had a little activity ready to go for after dinner.

Opening Song: Twinkle Little Star (betcha didn't know that, eh?)

Opening Prayer: Daddy.

Lesson: We talked about having a new baby in the house and what that might mean for the kids. They are both really excited about Baby so I think this is going to be a bit of a culture shock for them. Really, when was the last time someone kept them awake by crying at all hours of the evening? When was the last time someone pooped or peed on them? And for the first couple months, babies are pretty boring. They don't open their eyes very much or smile. They're also notoriously horrible at playing catch.

I tried to talk a little bit about how Baby (and Mommy) will need a lot of help for a while, that's why Grandma G was coming to visit. But not only that, I would need them to help, too. Again, they were both very excited about the responsibilities of being the older siblings. Let's hope that lasts until Baby is ready for college.

Activity: Using pink and purple paper, I cut one inch by 8 inch strips. Then, I used a funky patterned paper to make two more strips for a total of 30. Using an index card, I listed the month and date for every day up until Baby arrives (according to the scheduled c-section, so it might be a little sooner than that...), including Thanksgiving.

Boo became the writer, taking one strip of paper at a time and writing the selected date on it, using the index card as her guide (I marked off each finished strip so she knew where to start next). I had her alternate between the pink and purple. The fancy paper was reserved for two special days: when Grandma arrives and when Baby arrives.

Boy and the Man teamed up and made the strips of paper into links. The Boy slipped the paper through the last link and bent it, while the Man taped it together because really, who is going to let a 3 year old have control of the tape?

The finished product:

We hung it from our FHE board. Every morning, while I'm getting their breakfast, they get to tear off the link with that day's date. And to save myself from dealing with the arguments, I designated the pink links to Boo and the purple links to Boy. I get to tear off the fancy ones.

Closing Song: Once there was a Snowman...repeatedly.

Closing Prayer: da Boo.

Treat: Ice cream sundaes. I'll take any excuse to douse something in chocolate syrup.

T-Minus 30 Days

So I've been having these...oh, what are they called? You know...when your abdominal muscles get together and decide to see just how hard they'd have to squeeze in order to get all your guts to come out a small opening? Contractions! Yes! That's the word!

So I've been having contractions. This is a new experience for me, despite this being Child #3. With Boo, I only ever had one contraction without medical assistance (and that happened the day after my due date, when I forced myself to go sit on those hard wooden benches in the Provo Tabernacle for Stake Conference, trying to start labor). A week after my due date, when they had to induce me, it took three attempts before the contractions really became consistent, and boy howdy, was that ever a fun experience! Then I was in labor for 24-hours before the doctor was like "Yup, didn't think this was going to work. Let's go to a c-section!" Umm, what? That would have been nice to know about 23 hours and 45 minutes ago!

Then there was the Boy. I got to schedule my c-section weeks in advance. My due date was the 15th. The nurse wanted me to go in on the 11th but I asked f we would wait until the 18th, since my mother-in-law wouldn't arrive until the 15th. The nurse looks at my belly over her glasses (why do people always do that?) and declares that I won't make it that long. But I was smug in my knowledge that I couldn't go into labor on my own and I insisted I would be fine. The Boy was born on the 18th and he didn't even see it coming.

Now there's this Baby. Last Sunday, I woke up feeling horrible and proceeded to make offerings to the porcelain god. And I still got dressed and went to church (because apparently I am crazy). Before we even got the kids out of the car, I knew I needed to hit the bathroom right away. And mid-offering, I had a contraction. This was not a Braxton-Hicks, which I'd had before. Oh no, this was the real McCoy. I was in the bathroom a looooong time, trying to collect myself, but before I could open the stall door, another one hit. Not good. So I walked down the hall to the comfortable chairs in the foyer (we were late so my family was sitting on metal folding chairs and there was no way I was going to sit there after what I'd been through). Luckily, a few friends had also gathered in the foyer with their babies and they encouraged me to go tell the Man what was going on so he could take me home. So I slipped into the meeting and whispered what had happened. He went a little pale and asked if I was in labor.

"I can't go into labor, remember?" I confidently informed him.

He quickly farmed our kids off on some close-by friends and escorted me out the door. But I could feel another one coming...as it hit, I pushed open the first door I came to, searching for a chair. Of course, it was the kitchen...so I ended up on the floor, panting like I'd just run a mile (or, since I am so out of shape, a quarter of a block). At least the floor was nice and cold. It actually felt pretty good to sit there. The Man took me home and I promptly fell asleep until everyone got home after church.

Then I had my Doctor's appointment on Thursday. After the belly check, I casually mentioned that I had been having contractions. But no need to worry, right? I can't go into labor on my own, right? Oh, wrong! The doctor basically scolded me, saying that I most certainly could go into labor, it just wouldn't do any good and they'd have to do a c-section then. After being firmly rebuked, he made me promise to go directly to the hospital if I had more than six contractions in an hour. And then he sent me out the door to schedule my c-section. Now, I'm trying to find a fun countdown thingy to put up here to tick off the days until December 10th, our little girl's birthday. Just hope I can make it to then...but it might not be too bad to go earlier!

And to encourage me a little more...let's start a contest! In a comment, tell me the date and time that you think I will have Baby. As a tie-breaker, also list weight and length. Winner will get something good. Lurkers are welcome to participate (I know you're there! I have Google Analytics!) but I will need an email for you, unless you just want the bragging rights.

When will Baby arrive and what size will she be?
Enter the Contest!

Tempted

I am posting on my blog as a way to distract myself.

There are a dozen chocolate chip cookies downstairs and they are all calling my name.

"Have some!" you might say cheerfully. "You deserve it for being so completely awesome!"

And you're right. But I've ready had eight cookies. And frankly, I'm feeling a little bloated. They still call, still attempting to entice me to my doom. I'm trying to think of some famous line from Shakespeare or something like that...where the hero is on the brink of self-destruction and cries out mightily...like "Why must thou vex me so?" or "Be gone, my tormentor!" or maybe it's "You have no power over me." (Bonus points to whomever can cite the movie reference on that last one!)

Or maybe I should just give in, eat the whole load of them. Really show them who's the boss. Right. And maybe I ought to finish off the kids' Halloween candy, too, before it starts giving me attitude...

Foto Friday: Boo's Birthday Week

Well, it's been an action-packed week and frankly, I'm looking forward to having the Man home this weekend so I can get a nap!

First up, the bunkbed:


When it arrived, the kids were very excited and couldn't wait to sleep on it. That's when I realized that the only sheets we had that would fit the Boy's new mattress were pink and purple fairy princess sheets. One trip to Wally World later and the Boy was the proud owner of Spiderman sheets (and a vinyl mattress protector).

Since I am currently "great with child," we had da Boo's party at Build-A-Bear Workshop, so someone else had to do all the work. And I must say, it was worth the money spent! I've been to a couple of these before and this time, it was by far the best! The guy they had as the "party host" knew how to keep those kids entertained and paying attention. And? They recently lowered the price to $10 on a few more animals so there was more to choose from. Meet the new additions to our family: Belle and Dongo!


Have you seen da Boo's birthday cake yet? Its...an interesting one. I let her pretty much design the cake. Maybe next time, I'll offer a little more guidance. But my favorite part about making a bear cake? Serving it to the guest of honor.

Letters to Sonic

Dear Cute Little Sonic Car Hop,

I appreciate you bringing my delicious Diet Dr Pepper with cherry and chocolate. It was almost the highlight of my day, only to be outdone by the scheduling of my upcoming c-section. I realize that you are very young (and skinny) and may not understand life other than what you've heard from your teenage friends and the media. So I'd like to explain some things to you.

As you stated when you handed me the drink, you had never heard of this combination before. Understandable. I have extremely good taste. Diet Dr Pepper with cherry and chocolate is not an unusual request. In fact, Dr Pepper canned this very product during last year's holiday season. It was not, in fact, a pregnancy craving, as you must have surmised by your glance to my large belly and your startled "Oh!" Not a craving; just a really good drink. It's not like I ordered a Caffeine Free Mountain Dew with marshmallows and pickle juice. Although...that might not be too bad, either...

Yours truly,
The Pregnant Lady who orders weird drinks because they taste good, not because she's having some obscure craving

-----------

My Precious Sonic,

Why do you tempt me so? It's bad enough that I keep change in the car just so I can come visit you during Happy Hour and gaze upon your back-lit menu's beauty. Must you make me drive circles around the parking lot until the clock turns to 2 p.m.? Really, I'm probably spending all the Happy Hour savings on gas. Can't you just rewind your clocks ever so slightly? Pretty please? I'll even help you! Provided they aren't up to high or are too heavy or require a Phillips head screwdriver because I can never seem to find one of those when I need it. But really, I'd help!

Lovingly,
Your somewhat dizzy customer

P.S.
Please tell your perky little teenage car hops that there is nothing wrong with ordering cherry and chocolate add-ins...if only they'd try it, they'd love it, too.

My Obsession - Kinda...

I re-read Twilight in preparation for the upcoming movie. And yes, I do have tickets to the midnight premiere (I plan on wearing my Halloween costume but then there are these other shirts that I kinda wish I found before I made mine...).

And I gotta say...I think the thrill might be gone. Maybe its knowing how it all ends that is doing it or maybe it's just because I saw this hilarious spoof on the trailer. Wanna see it?



I think I might like it better than the actual trailer! At the behest of a devoted fan, I read Stephenie Meyer's "Midnight Sun," which is the Twilight book from Edward's perspective. She stopped writing it just before the critical meadow scene because the unfinished manuscript was leaked onto the Internet. Still, it helps explain a little better how someone as magnificent as Edward would be interested in boring Bella. And there are some lines in there that just kill me, like on page 112, at the bottom.

Today is da Boo's birthday party and I've made three cakes in the past two days so I'm a little busy...enjoy the trailer and I'll see ya soon!

Happy Birthday, Boo!

Six years ago was an interesting day.

Six years ago, our first child was born after 24 hours of unsuccessful labor and then a c-section.


Six years ago, I fell in love with someone I had been waiting years to meet.


Six years ago, I didn't know someone so small could be so important.


Six years ago, I underestimated small children while overestimating myself.


Six years ago, I had no imagination and couldn't draw a horse if my life depended on it.


Six years ago, my best friend was an adult, not a little girl.

Six years ago, I wondered about this day...about who she would become and whether I was up to the task.

Six years later, I still wonder who she will become and whether I am ready for her to keep growing up.

Happy Birthday, Boo!

Foto Friday: Halloween Edition

Kids are in bed.
Sign on the door reads "Out of Candy."
Raided the kids' bags for Dots and fun size Snickers.
Finally, I can get to the important stuff, like posting on my blog.

I am lame; we all know this. I make my kids go with a theme for Halloween every year. Last year, they were members of the Royal Court. Year before that, Boo was an angel and Boy was a devil (why, yes, I was type casting...why do you ask?). This year...we went back in time to the 1950s.


Boo wasn't sold on the "poodle skirt" concept until I showed her the different poodles she could get. She named her poodle Franzeeza. I have no idea where she got that. And I made the skirt. Aren't I awesome?


The Boy is a little easier to get to do my bidding to influence. All I had to do was tell him he was a "motorcycle guy" and he was all over it. Back of the jacket says "Thunderbirds." Getting him to sit still while I combed his hair like a "Greaser" was another challenge...

Then there was my costume. I make it a point to dress up every year, usually in outfits that are a little out of the ordinary and/or funny. Well, at least I think they're funny. The Man usually just rolls his eyes at me. I've been an icing bag, a deviled egg (complete with horns and a tail), and a pumpkin "pi." This year, I had planned on being a sandwich/witch but being pregnant, that didn't sound as funny. Second choice was to recycle a costume from years gone by, but again...big belly makes it hard to squeeze into things. Since my acquired girth was an issue, why not make it into an asset? Maybe I could go as a nun! That would be funny. Kind of. But since I've been obsessing lately, the idea suddenly came to me...


I lost count of how many people - who obviously hadn't read the Twilight Series - asked me if that was my baby's name. No. I try not to subject you to pictures of me, being "large with child" or otherwise. And by the way? Whoever came up with the phrase "you look ready to pop!" ought to be drug out into the street and shot.

Happy Halloween!

What treats are you raiding from your kids' goody bags tonight?

Fear: Part Two

(Read Part One first!)

The story continues...


That’s when I saw him.

A man was across the room. He looked very agitated and seemed to be pacing the floor, hands clasped behind his back, face turned downward. When he turned and paced back the other way, I noticed that he was the only thing I could see. I couldn’t see the door to the bathroom that was to my left. I couldn’t see the chest freezer that sat behind him. All I could see was this strangely illuminated man that I didn’t know.

As I watched, he turned again to continue his pacing. I caught a glimpse of his face. He seemed to be talking as his dark mouth moved but I couldn’t hear anything. It was the eyes that made my eyes go wide. They weren’t like eyes at all, just black smudges, as if they had been drawn in with a heavy pencil only to be smeared away.

Fear heightens the senses and there was no pretending that I was anything but utterly terrified now. I heard someone next to me move in their sleep and knew immediately that it was my brother. The frame of the bathroom door came into focus, closer than I had thought before. But the man…he continued his silent pacing, his anxious movements making no sound as he turned again. Given my proximity to him and the bathroom, I realized that his path took him directly through the ping pong table.

I might have stopped breathing.

There was no rational explanation. The man I watched was no man at all. It was a ghost. Plain and simple. A ghost. Only a few yards away from me. In a strange house, with everyone else blissfully oblivious as they slept.

I’d read all sort of stories. R.L. Stine was at the beginning of his scary story career and I had devoured his books, laughing as the hero vanquished the terrifying creatures. But a book read in comforts of one’s own room was something entirely different than what I was experiencing at the moment.

The ghost continued his eternal pacing and I silently watched his every move, too scared to turn away, too scared to close my eyes long enough to blink. It seemed like hours before I noticed that the ghost was beginning to fade as other items in the room were coming into focus. The sun was rising.

With the spectral image gone, I finally found the strength to move. I recovered my sleeping bag, still wadded up in it’s place between my sister and Emily, only three feet away. Crawling inside, I zipped it up to the top and buried my head under my pillow.

It seemed only moments later that I heard voices and movements as everyone else woke up, ready for more fun before it was time to leave. I was too exhausted to pay much attention. I can’t even remember what we had for breakfast or what we did before returning home.

I do remember the next day. While my mother had her hands deep in dough, I sat in the kitchen, watching her, trying to find the words to explain what had happened. Without turning away from her task or noticing my turmoil, Mom asked me to run downstairs to the pantry and get a can of vegetables.

I froze.

The pantry was in the basement. Did we have a ghost in our basement, too? I’d never spent the night down there to find out, but it did have a dark, creepy feeling to it...especially in the pantry.

Images from the sleepover filled my head as I started down the stairs. Once I thought about it, I realized that nearly every basement I went in had a creepy feeling to it. They were darker and usually smelled different than the rest of the house. Maybe those lonely basements were the haunts of choice for ghosts everywhere. I didn’t hesitate when I entered the pantry. Instead, I grabbed the closest can from the vegetable shelf and spun on my heel. Heading back up the stairs, a chilling tingly feeling crept up my spine, like someone - or something - was just behind me, reaching out to grab me and the only way to escape was to move a little faster. I was in a full on run by the time I burst through the door. Slamming the door behind me, I was convinced that I could hear steps retreating back down the stairs. It could have been my pounding heart but I wasn’t in any condition to be rational at that moment.

And I’ve been irrational ever since. Twenty years later, as I stand at the top of the stairs leading down to my basement, I can still feel the tingling shoot through my spine. I hesitate, weighing the need for more tomato sauce against the desire to run away and hide.

There’s nothing down there, I try to tell myself, just get this over with!

My footsteps sound heavy on the wooden stairs as I once again descend into the darkness...

Fear: Part One

Countless memes and emails ask me to list various things about myself, revealing truths or little quirks. They ask such questions as favorite color or food, political preferences and what clothes am I currently wearing. They also ask about my biggest fear. While some more self-reflective - or perhaps more mentally stable - people answer that they fear there is no heaven or that they will never find love, my answer never changes. I am afraid of basements.

Basements? Seriously?

Oh, yes. So much so that I will do anything to avoid going into my own basement after nightfall. And in honor of my favorite holiday, I will tell you the story that inspired my phobia.


It wasn’t a dark and stormy night.

In fact, it was a rather nice late summer evening, full of fun and laughter. Really, everyone was having a great time. So how could it have possibly turned into one of the scariest experiences of my young life?

My brother, Tom, had a friend named Adam. Adam’s older sister was named Amy and his younger sister was Emily. Their mom was single so the three of them frequently came over after school. While the boys roughhoused and Amy shared whispers with my older sister, Tipi, I usually got stuck with Emily, even though she was two years younger than me. She was okay, I guess. Not terribly annoying but not very interesting either. She could sit for hours and brush my Barbies’ hair while I would rather run around the backyard with the boys. Tea parties were only fun if there was real cake.

At eight, there was still a rite of passage I hadn’t experienced yet: my first sleepover. My parents said I was still too young and no argument could sway them. But then Adam invited my brother over to spend the night and Amy invited my sister. Emily and I looked at each other, not sure if she could put down the Barbies or if I could pick them up. It wasn’t until Tom and Tipi were getting ready to leave that my mom started packing my bag. I was going, too? Really? I was so excited, I made sure to bring my Barbie that Emily loved best.

And it was everything I thought it should be! There was pizza for dinner and we got to make our own sundaes afterwards. We watched a movie (that wasn’t about a princess) and everyone got to play ping-pong on the table down in the basement. Emily and I played Barbies a little bit. It was the polite thing to do, really. Then, it was time for bed. Their house was pretty small so the only room where all of us could fit was down in the basement. We laid out our sleeping bags and fluffed our pillows. I was starting to feel a little nervous about sleeping somewhere new so I whispered to my sister and she scooted her sleeping bag closer to mine. Wedged between her and tiny Emily, I felt a little better. Then their mom turned off the lights.

It was dark. The basement had two tiny windows but there wasn’t any light coming in from outside, not at night. The only gleam of hope came from the open basement door and the light spilling down from the kitchen. Adam and Tom started a game of making animal noises, trying to match the sound to the right animal. It was fun but the game fell apart when Tom declared that Adam’s shaky roar was a Tyrannosaurus Rex who stepped on a nail. We were laughing too hard to think of any animals that could top that one, hushing only slightly when their mother yelled down the stairs for the second time to keep it quiet.

One by one, everyone drifted off to sleep.

Except for me.

In the dark and unfamiliar circumstances, all noises were instantly amplified and twisted. The humming was a crazed, bloodthirsty bumblebee, not my sister’s snore. The rattling clang wasn’t the chest freezer. Instead, it was an escaped convict trying to get in the window. And the shuffling? Well, the shuffling could be anything but it certainly wasn’t the restless movements of five sleepers.

Once I talked myself down from a panic, I tried to think rationally, like Mom had tried to teach me to do whenever I was scared. It couldn’t be a bee because they sleep at night, too. Certainly wasn’t a convict because there wasn’t a prison anywhere close by. And the shuffling? That was sound of sleeping bags on Berber carpet. Plain and simple. Fears appeased, I fell asleep, my unconscious sucking on my tongue sounding more like rabid mice clawing their way through the walls.

I was cold.

That was the first thing I noticed when I woke up. There was only stiff carpet under me and I couldn’t feel my sleeping bag. Then I noticed it was very dark. The light from the kitchen was gone. After blinking into the inky black for a moment, I realized that I was by myself. My sister and her sleeping bag were no longer close. Emily and her princess blankets had disappeared into the darkness, as well. I could hear them. There were soft snores and movements not too far away but I couldn’t see them. I tried adjusting my eyes to the dark, squinting at shapes and trying to force them into focus. I sat up to see if I could make out forms in another direction and maybe find my sleeping bag.

That’s when I saw him.

To Be Continued....

So-So Feet

Have you seen the movie "Happy Feet?" We borrowed it from the local library. Given all the hype and toy merchandising, I thought this film had been a huge blockbuster with streams of loyal fans around the globe. Apparently not.

Here's the guts of the story: Mumble is born to Elvis and Marilyn Monroe impersonators, who also happen to be Emperor penguins. These penguins find their true love by singing, so imagine their shock when their son cannot sing, but he can make his feet spasm in such a way that it kinda looks like tap dancing. He is ostracized, not just because he still has his baby feathers and twitches like a freak, with the Elders implying that his strangeness is the reason the fish are disappearing. Determined to find the cause of the fish depletion (believed to be aliens, conveniently explained by some fishing birds who are trying to eat him). Instead he meets a group of illegal immigrants who look like Adelie penguins. Together, they try to find the aliens. Surprise, surprise: humans are the aliens. We are taking all their fish. Mumble ends up in a zoo exhibit, where his tap dancing catches the humans' attention and he is released...after being strapped to a GPS locator. Of course, he hurries back home and tries to explain that the aliens will give them back their food if they all learn to dance. Sure enough, the helicopter lands, the "aliens" emerge and the penguins start dancing, causing a worldwide sensation and ending the over-harvesting of fish from the local oceans.

Moral of the story: You're only worth feeding if you can dance.

I watched it with my kids. Kinda dumb, I thought, but then again it was a kids' movie and those are directed to entertain kids who can't quite tie their shoelaces. So thinking that they would be swooning over the adorable penguins, I asked the kids what they thought. The Boy hadn't watched a good portion of the movie, opting instead to rotate among watching, playing with his train set, and throwing fits. He didn't have much to say. Da Boo was quite vocal.

Boo: It was kinda boring.
Me: Boring? Really?
Boo: Yeah, not very fun.
Me: Didn't you like the penguins?
Boo: I liked the funny little ones.
Me: What about the dancing?
Boo: I can dance better than that. (said with big rolling of eyes)

Wow. I guess Hollywood's thinly disguised environmental message wasn't the bombshell they planned. Usually, when we get a movie from the library, it's all they want to watch for the next three days. Not this time, not even when I offered.

Boo wants to know if the next time we go to the library, if we can get "High School Musical" instead.