T-Minus 30 Days

So I've been having these...oh, what are they called? You know...when your abdominal muscles get together and decide to see just how hard they'd have to squeeze in order to get all your guts to come out a small opening? Contractions! Yes! That's the word!

So I've been having contractions. This is a new experience for me, despite this being Child #3. With Boo, I only ever had one contraction without medical assistance (and that happened the day after my due date, when I forced myself to go sit on those hard wooden benches in the Provo Tabernacle for Stake Conference, trying to start labor). A week after my due date, when they had to induce me, it took three attempts before the contractions really became consistent, and boy howdy, was that ever a fun experience! Then I was in labor for 24-hours before the doctor was like "Yup, didn't think this was going to work. Let's go to a c-section!" Umm, what? That would have been nice to know about 23 hours and 45 minutes ago!

Then there was the Boy. I got to schedule my c-section weeks in advance. My due date was the 15th. The nurse wanted me to go in on the 11th but I asked f we would wait until the 18th, since my mother-in-law wouldn't arrive until the 15th. The nurse looks at my belly over her glasses (why do people always do that?) and declares that I won't make it that long. But I was smug in my knowledge that I couldn't go into labor on my own and I insisted I would be fine. The Boy was born on the 18th and he didn't even see it coming.

Now there's this Baby. Last Sunday, I woke up feeling horrible and proceeded to make offerings to the porcelain god. And I still got dressed and went to church (because apparently I am crazy). Before we even got the kids out of the car, I knew I needed to hit the bathroom right away. And mid-offering, I had a contraction. This was not a Braxton-Hicks, which I'd had before. Oh no, this was the real McCoy. I was in the bathroom a looooong time, trying to collect myself, but before I could open the stall door, another one hit. Not good. So I walked down the hall to the comfortable chairs in the foyer (we were late so my family was sitting on metal folding chairs and there was no way I was going to sit there after what I'd been through). Luckily, a few friends had also gathered in the foyer with their babies and they encouraged me to go tell the Man what was going on so he could take me home. So I slipped into the meeting and whispered what had happened. He went a little pale and asked if I was in labor.

"I can't go into labor, remember?" I confidently informed him.

He quickly farmed our kids off on some close-by friends and escorted me out the door. But I could feel another one coming...as it hit, I pushed open the first door I came to, searching for a chair. Of course, it was the kitchen...so I ended up on the floor, panting like I'd just run a mile (or, since I am so out of shape, a quarter of a block). At least the floor was nice and cold. It actually felt pretty good to sit there. The Man took me home and I promptly fell asleep until everyone got home after church.

Then I had my Doctor's appointment on Thursday. After the belly check, I casually mentioned that I had been having contractions. But no need to worry, right? I can't go into labor on my own, right? Oh, wrong! The doctor basically scolded me, saying that I most certainly could go into labor, it just wouldn't do any good and they'd have to do a c-section then. After being firmly rebuked, he made me promise to go directly to the hospital if I had more than six contractions in an hour. And then he sent me out the door to schedule my c-section. Now, I'm trying to find a fun countdown thingy to put up here to tick off the days until December 10th, our little girl's birthday. Just hope I can make it to then...but it might not be too bad to go earlier!

And to encourage me a little more...let's start a contest! In a comment, tell me the date and time that you think I will have Baby. As a tie-breaker, also list weight and length. Winner will get something good. Lurkers are welcome to participate (I know you're there! I have Google Analytics!) but I will need an email for you, unless you just want the bragging rights.

When will Baby arrive and what size will she be?
Enter the Contest!