Step One: Have a friend who is a huge fan of something, say like the Twilight series. This friend will then get you tickets to a midnight premiere of the movie.
Step Two: Dress the part. Everyone will be wearing themed shirts so you have to have one, too.
Step Three: Abandon all responsibility that you might have that evening and meet your friends at the movie theater at a time that is usually around your bedtime. Proceed to stand in line for a very, very long time. (Be very grateful that at least one part of you remained adult-ish and opted to wear comfortable shoes instead of your super cute ones.)
Step Four: Laugh, giggle, talk and just generally enjoy yourself while standing in line for nearly two hours. Once you get your seats, still laugh, giggle and talk but this time you can include talking about the people around you (one of which may or may not be an absolute freak - and not in a good way).
Step Five: Do not have a contraction! You are a carefree teenager! Not a full-grown, responsible adult, preparing to give birth in just a couple weeks. So that devastatingly painful ache that is gripping you? Maybe it was just something you ate.
Step Six: Clap for joy and cheer when the movie finally starts.
Step Seven: Periodically annoy the friends sitting next to you with your harsh critiques of the movie's progress. Join in on the various outbursts from other members of the audience.
Step Eight: Refuse to go to the bathroom. You are a teenager, you can hold it.
Step Nine: Marvel at the following - a) how far away from the book a movie script can go b) how bad the acting can be by supposed professionals c) how a man can be smolderingly delicious one second and then just look weird the next.
Step Ten: Stumble home, bone weary but somehow wide awake and attempt to remember that you are not a teenager. Wince at the resulting aches and pains as you try to fall asleep.
I give the Twilight movie a 3 1/2 out a possible 10. I won't go into detail here, because I don't want to ruin it for anybody who is really excited to see the movie...but I'll link you to a fellow non-teenager's review and let her blast your hopes out of the water. You're welcome!
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