"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." - Ronald Reagan

Sunday, November 30, 2008

The Difference Between Boys and Girls: Automatic Flush

And once again, for my loyal readers who do not know the stress pleasures of having a boy and a girl...

It took a loooooooong time for us to potty train da Boo. Seriously. It was ten months before she was fully able to take care of business on her own. However, she didn't have nearly the number of accidents that the Boy produced. She just preferred to have us assisting with every step, while the Boy would just do his business wherever he happened to be at that moment.

After all that time, she was finally advanced enough that I could take her out for long errands without worrying. Then came a fateful day at Target...She sat on the potty, precariously perched on the edge. The commode in the next stall flushed rather forcefully and she nearly fell off in shock. She looked at me for reassurance but before I could respond, her toilet flushed. Within a fraction of a second, she leaped off the toilet and was frantically clawing at the stall door. I tried calming her down but it was hopeless. She wasn't getting back on that thing! It had tried to swallow her!

That was nearly three years ago and only just recently, has she been able to "produce" when she's on an automatic toilet.

Now, the Boy. While his potty training experiences nearly sent me over the edge, he was pretty much an expert in two months. He still needs help buttoning his pants (but then again, sometimes so do I). A little while back, during a shopping trip, he had to use the potty. And of course, it was an automatic flush model. No worries, he climbed on as usual and waited. Then, the toilet flushed violently, spraying water everywhere. He didn't even break stream.

"Whoa," he says looking up at me, "That was cool!"

From then on, all automatic flush potties are called "Rock Band potties." Because all cool things are related to Rock Band.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Foto Friday #20

How was your Thanksgiving? Did ya burn anything? I almost did...but just for the record, the smoke alarm was going off because its also heat sensitive and beeps whenever the oven is at 450 degrees. Then, toward the end of dinner, Boo realizes that I never made the stuffing. Oops! I promised to make some tonight when we eat leftovers.

Want to see some pictures?

In honor of Thanksgiving, Boo decided she needed to dress up as an Indian. But not just any Indian...an Indian Princess. And the Boy is just being his usual self in the background there...geesh.

Of course we played Rock Band before and after. The Co-ed asked the Boy to make a "cool face" as he wore the guitar and this is what he did. Not so much "cool" as "constipated."

The Man and the kidlets went to Costco a few days ago and brought me back these:

Rather pretty, aren't they? The colors are perfect for the season. But did you notice those little yellow things down at the bottom there? They aren't flowers. They're peppers! Interesting...and actually, kinda cool, too!

Now I'm off to eat the rest of the sweet potatoes for lunch...

What is your favorite Thanksgiving dish?

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Some Funny for Today

Have you ever been to I Can Haz Cheezeburger? It's a fun little site, where they take pictures of animals (mostly cats) and add captions to make them funny (and the more misspelled, the better, apparently). The kids love it. We just spent nearly half an hour looking at some of the pictures. I thought I'd share a good one:

funny pictures of cats with captions

Now, get off the computer and get back to work on all that food prep and cleaning you have to do for tomorrow!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

FHE: 2nd Annual Alphabet Blessings

Last year for Family Home Evening before Thanksgiving, we had an activity called Alphabet Blessings. It was a lot of fun and the kids enjoyed it so I decided to try it again.

Opening Song: Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree.

Opening Prayer: The Man.

Lesson: Since the kids were a little on the weepy side, I opted to skip the story that we read last year and instead we talked about what it means to be thankful. The Boy was getting very excited about it and even sang us the Alphabet Song (and did remarkably well!).

We started with the Man (because, as I found last year, when you're dividing the alphabet up in fourths, most of the tricky letters fall on whoever goes first). There were lots of similarities to last year's list but also some surprises. The letter D no longer stood for "diapers" (since no one around here wears them any more) and was now replaced with "drums." Da Boo was a little disappointed when her father declined her suggestion of "rainbows" for the letter R and chose "Rock Band" instead. Same story with the letter U no longer belonging to "unicorns" but my computer genius of a husband naming "Unix."

Funniest moment came when the Boy was asked to name a blessing for the letter X. Without hesitation or prompting, he shouted out "Xbox!"

The Man: And what do we do with the Xbox?
The Boy: Play Rock Band!

Boys...And really, Rock Band is the only game we play on the Xbox. Mostly, we play on the Wii.

Closing Song: Twinkle Little Star (because it just wouldn't be FHE without it).

Closing Prayer: The Man again, to avoid any arguments.

Treats: Root beer floats. Despite the chilly weather, da Boo was set on having ice cream.

**Thanks to everyone that left comments, emailed or called. I really, really appreciate your concern (and plates of cookies). Baby is doing well, just not liking all the squeezing going on since these contraction-thingers took over. And the Man made me promise not to do any more cakes for at least a month. *sigh* I like cake.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

What Did You Do Last Night?

Me, I delivered a cake. Then I came home and just kinda sat around. Seems like something else happened...what was it? The kids were at the neighbor's house for some reason...

Oh, yes! I remember. I went to the Emergency Room.

While I decorated the cake, I was having so many Braxton-Hicks contractions, it seemed like they never stopped. But that wasn't all. Baby wasn't really moving much. Normally, she gives me a good kick periodically just to remind me that it ain't over yet that she loves me but not so much yesterday. It felt like when you first feel the baby move and are always wondering "Was that a kick or was that gas?"

Yeah. Not fun. Even after laying down for a bit, I was getting nothing. So off to the ER we went!

When they first strapped me in to the monitors, the nurse was having a hard time finding the heartbeat. My heart was pounding but she couldn't hear a little one. She kept turning up the volume and checking again. Finally, there she was!

They kept me about a hour for observation and then sent me home. Oh, and all those Braxton-Hicks contractions I was having? Turns out they aren't the fake kind! Those were real contractions! Just not strong enough to do anything besides annoy me. And I still get to have lots of them.

Oh, the joys of Motherhood.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Foto Friday #19

Almost missed it! I bet you thought I forgot...well, actually, I've had it planned out all day but had to get some time to post the darn thing. I've been fielding phone calls about my Twilight movie experience.

I was goofing around with my camera, trying out the different features when I discovered that I can take black and white photos. You probably already knew that because you are so very smart (and pretty) but I, obviously, am not. So of course I practiced on my two favorite subjects.

I really like this one of da Boo! She humored me and let me take lots of photos (I was also messing with the macro function) and seemed to have fun. Almost makes the Patsy Ramsey in me come out and start demanding she learn how to strut the catwalk.

And here's a typical Boy grin. He didn't want his picture taken and when I asked him to "Look at Mommy!" he would just kinda turn his chin a little, eyes glued to the Wii game he was playing. Don't you think his glasses are looking a little small? He's getting new ones but we probably won't have them until after Thanksgiving. They are the super-bendy kind. Hopefully, we won't have as many emergency trips to the eye doctor to get them repaired...

What cool thing can your camera do?
(And does anyone know why my camera is now taking pictures that are a much larger print size?)

How To Behave Like A Teenager When It Is Painfully Obvious That You Really Aren't One

Step One: Have a friend who is a huge fan of something, say like the Twilight series. This friend will then get you tickets to a midnight premiere of the movie.

Step Two: Dress the part. Everyone will be wearing themed shirts so you have to have one, too.

Step Three: Abandon all responsibility that you might have that evening and meet your friends at the movie theater at a time that is usually around your bedtime. Proceed to stand in line for a very, very long time. (Be very grateful that at least one part of you remained adult-ish and opted to wear comfortable shoes instead of your super cute ones.)

Step Four: Laugh, giggle, talk and just generally enjoy yourself while standing in line for nearly two hours. Once you get your seats, still laugh, giggle and talk but this time you can include talking about the people around you (one of which may or may not be an absolute freak - and not in a good way).

Step Five: Do not have a contraction! You are a carefree teenager! Not a full-grown, responsible adult, preparing to give birth in just a couple weeks. So that devastatingly painful ache that is gripping you? Maybe it was just something you ate.

Step Six: Clap for joy and cheer when the movie finally starts.

Step Seven: Periodically annoy the friends sitting next to you with your harsh critiques of the movie's progress. Join in on the various outbursts from other members of the audience.

Step Eight: Refuse to go to the bathroom. You are a teenager, you can hold it.

Step Nine: Marvel at the following - a) how far away from the book a movie script can go b) how bad the acting can be by supposed professionals c) how a man can be smolderingly delicious one second and then just look weird the next.

Step Ten: Stumble home, bone weary but somehow wide awake and attempt to remember that you are not a teenager. Wince at the resulting aches and pains as you try to fall asleep.

I give the Twilight movie a 3 1/2 out a possible 10. I won't go into detail here, because I don't want to ruin it for anybody who is really excited to see the movie...but I'll link you to a fellow non-teenager's review and let her blast your hopes out of the water. You're welcome!

Monday, November 17, 2008

My New Fragrance

In preparation for the upcoming holiday, I've been stocking up on the essentials. You know, like corn, yams, chocolate chips...stuff I really need. The shelves in the pantry are getting a little crowded. I thought there was still enough room so I kept cramming things in.

Unfortunately, a bottle of Liquid Smoke got far too claustrophobic and decided to end it all by leaping off the shelf. When it hit the floor, the cap broke off, spraying about a tablespoon's worth of liquid. And of course, I was in the heroic act of trying to save the bottle so I got a good dousing.

Now, I keep smelling the stuff. I've already washed my face twice. Doesn't help so the stuff must be in my hair, too.

Maybe we'll have ribs for dinner to cover the scent. The Man loves ribs. He might just find me irresistible tonight.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Foto Friday #18

Well, most of the week, my camera's battery was dead so I don't have anything to show ya.

Pictures I missed getting this week:
  • Boo with her hairbrush stuck in her hair and her apparent obliviousness. And then she kept asking me where her brush was, getting all the more frustrated whenI just kept laughing.
  • Boy, after pulling the bed railing off and setting it on the floor at bedtime, wedged firmly between his bed and the displaced railing while still staying fast asleep. He doesn't wake up for much.
  • My totally awesome assortment of stretch marks. And no, I will not be posting a pregnant belly picture. Ever. Don't ask. It's ain't gonna happen, not even if you get me drunk on dark chocolate - although you're welcome to try it .
To make up for no photos on Foto Friday, check out the Cake Cow later tonight (or possibly tomorrow) to see what I've been up to today.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

FHE: The Final Countdown

We've been slacking on the Family Home Evening front. I blame it on the baby.

Monday, I got all ambitious during the day and had a little activity ready to go for after dinner.

Opening Song: Twinkle Little Star (betcha didn't know that, eh?)

Opening Prayer
: Daddy.

Lesson: We talked about having a new baby in the house and what that might mean for the kids. They are both really excited about Baby so I think this is going to be a bit of a culture shock for them. Really, when was the last time someone kept them awake by crying at all hours of the evening? When was the last time someone pooped or peed on them? And for the first couple months, babies are pretty boring. They don't open their eyes very much or smile. They're also notoriously horrible at playing catch.

I tried to talk a little bit about how Baby (and Mommy) will need a lot of help for a while, that's why Grandma G was coming to visit. But not only that, I would need them to help, too. Again, they were both very excited about the responsibilities of being the older siblings. Let's hope that lasts until Baby is ready for college.

Activity: Using pink and purple paper, I cut one inch by 8 inch strips. Then, I used a funky patterned paper to make two more strips for a total of 30. Using an index card, I listed the month and date for every day up until Baby arrives (according to the scheduled c-section, so it might be a little sooner than that...), including Thanksgiving.

Boo became the writer, taking one strip of paper at a time and writing the selected date on it, using the index card as her guide (I marked off each finished strip so she knew where to start next). I had her alternate between the pink and purple. The fancy paper was reserved for two special days: when Grandma arrives and when Baby arrives.

Boy and the Man teamed up and made the strips of paper into links. The Boy slipped the paper through the last link and bent it, while the Man taped it together because really, who is going to let a 3 year old have control of the tape?

The finished product:

We hung it from our FHE board. Every morning, while I'm getting their breakfast, they get to tear off the link with that day's date. And to save myself from dealing with the arguments, I designated the pink links to Boo and the purple links to Boy. I get to tear off the fancy ones.

Closing Song: Once there was a Snowman...repeatedly.

Closing Prayer: da Boo.

Treat: Ice cream sundaes. I'll take any excuse to douse something in chocolate syrup.

Monday, November 10, 2008

T-Minus 30 Days

So I've been having these...oh, what are they called? You know...when your abdominal muscles get together and decide to see just how hard they'd have to squeeze in order to get all your guts to come out a small opening? Contractions! Yes! That's the word!

So I've been having contractions. This is a new experience for me, despite this being Child #3. With Boo, I only ever had one contraction without medical assistance (and that happened the day after my due date, when I forced myself to go sit on those hard wooden benches in the Provo Tabernacle for Stake Conference, trying to start labor). A week after my due date, when they had to induce me, it took three attempts before the contractions really became consistent, and boy howdy, was that ever a fun experience! Then I was in labor for 24-hours before the doctor was like "Yup, didn't think this was going to work. Let's go to a c-section!" Umm, what? That would have been nice to know about 23 hours and 45 minutes ago!

Then there was the Boy. I got to schedule my c-section weeks in advance. My due date was the 15th. The nurse wanted me to go in on the 11th but I asked f we would wait until the 18th, since my mother-in-law wouldn't arrive until the 15th. The nurse looks at my belly over her glasses (why do people always do that?) and declares that I won't make it that long. But I was smug in my knowledge that I couldn't go into labor on my own and I insisted I would be fine. The Boy was born on the 18th and he didn't even see it coming.

Now there's this Baby. Last Sunday, I woke up feeling horrible and proceeded to make offerings to the porcelain god. And I still got dressed and went to church (because apparently I am crazy). Before we even got the kids out of the car, I knew I needed to hit the bathroom right away. And mid-offering, I had a contraction. This was not a Braxton-Hicks, which I'd had before. Oh no, this was the real McCoy. I was in the bathroom a looooong time, trying to collect myself, but before I could open the stall door, another one hit. Not good. So I walked down the hall to the comfortable chairs in the foyer (we were late so my family was sitting on metal folding chairs and there was no way I was going to sit there after what I'd been through). Luckily, a few friends had also gathered in the foyer with their babies and they encouraged me to go tell the Man what was going on so he could take me home. So I slipped into the meeting and whispered what had happened. He went a little pale and asked if I was in labor.

"I can't go into labor, remember?" I confidently informed him.

He quickly farmed our kids off on some close-by friends and escorted me out the door. But I could feel another one coming...as it hit, I pushed open the first door I came to, searching for a chair. Of course, it was the kitchen...so I ended up on the floor, panting like I'd just run a mile (or, since I am so out of shape, a quarter of a block). At least the floor was nice and cold. It actually felt pretty good to sit there. The Man took me home and I promptly fell asleep until everyone got home after church.

Then I had my Doctor's appointment on Thursday. After the belly check, I casually mentioned that I had been having contractions. But no need to worry, right? I can't go into labor on my own, right? Oh, wrong! The doctor basically scolded me, saying that I most certainly could go into labor, it just wouldn't do any good and they'd have to do a c-section then. After being firmly rebuked, he made me promise to go directly to the hospital if I had more than six contractions in an hour. And then he sent me out the door to schedule my c-section. Now, I'm trying to find a fun countdown thingy to put up here to tick off the days until December 10th, our little girl's birthday. Just hope I can make it to then...but it might not be too bad to go earlier!

And to encourage me a little more...let's start a contest! In a comment, tell me the date and time that you think I will have Baby. As a tie-breaker, also list weight and length. Winner will get something good. Lurkers are welcome to participate (I know you're there! I have Google Analytics!) but I will need an email for you, unless you just want the bragging rights.

When will Baby arrive and what size will she be?
Enter the Contest!

Saturday, November 8, 2008


I am posting on my blog as a way to distract myself.

There are a dozen chocolate chip cookies downstairs and they are all calling my name.

"Have some!" you might say cheerfully. "You deserve it for being so completely awesome!"

And you're right. But I've ready had eight cookies. And frankly, I'm feeling a little bloated. They still call, still attempting to entice me to my doom. I'm trying to think of some famous line from Shakespeare or something like that...where the hero is on the brink of self-destruction and cries out mightily...like "Why must thou vex me so?" or "Be gone, my tormentor!" or maybe it's "You have no power over me." (Bonus points to whomever can cite the movie reference on that last one!)

Or maybe I should just give in, eat the whole load of them. Really show them who's the boss. Right. And maybe I ought to finish off the kids' Halloween candy, too, before it starts giving me attitude...

Friday, November 7, 2008

Foto Friday: Boo's Birthday Week

Well, it's been an action-packed week and frankly, I'm looking forward to having the Man home this weekend so I can get a nap!

First up, the bunkbed:

When it arrived, the kids were very excited and couldn't wait to sleep on it. That's when I realized that the only sheets we had that would fit the Boy's new mattress were pink and purple fairy princess sheets. One trip to Wally World later and the Boy was the proud owner of Spiderman sheets (and a vinyl mattress protector).

Since I am currently "great with child," we had da Boo's party at Build-A-Bear Workshop, so someone else had to do all the work. And I must say, it was worth the money spent! I've been to a couple of these before and this time, it was by far the best! The guy they had as the "party host" knew how to keep those kids entertained and paying attention. And? They recently lowered the price to $10 on a few more animals so there was more to choose from. Meet the new additions to our family: Belle and Dongo!

Have you seen da Boo's birthday cake yet? Its...an interesting one. I let her pretty much design the cake. Maybe next time, I'll offer a little more guidance. But my favorite part about making a bear cake? Serving it to the guest of honor.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Letters to Sonic

Dear Cute Little Sonic Car Hop,

I appreciate you bringing my delicious Diet Dr Pepper with cherry and chocolate. It was almost the highlight of my day, only to be outdone by the scheduling of my upcoming c-section. I realize that you are very young (and skinny) and may not understand life other than what you've heard from your teenage friends and the media. So I'd like to explain some things to you.

As you stated when you handed me the drink, you had never heard of this combination before. Understandable. I have extremely good taste. Diet Dr Pepper with cherry and chocolate is not an unusual request. In fact, Dr Pepper canned this very product during last year's holiday season. It was not, in fact, a pregnancy craving, as you must have surmised by your glance to my large belly and your startled "Oh!" Not a craving; just a really good drink. It's not like I ordered a Caffeine Free Mountain Dew with marshmallows and pickle juice. Although...that might not be too bad, either...

Yours truly,
The Pregnant Lady who orders weird drinks because they taste good, not because she's having some obscure craving


My Precious Sonic,

Why do you tempt me so? It's bad enough that I keep change in the car just so I can come visit you during Happy Hour and gaze upon your back-lit menu's beauty. Must you make me drive circles around the parking lot until the clock turns to 2 p.m.? Really, I'm probably spending all the Happy Hour savings on gas. Can't you just rewind your clocks ever so slightly? Pretty please? I'll even help you! Provided they aren't up to high or are too heavy or require a Phillips head screwdriver because I can never seem to find one of those when I need it. But really, I'd help!

Your somewhat dizzy customer

Please tell your perky little teenage car hops that there is nothing wrong with ordering cherry and chocolate add-ins...if only they'd try it, they'd love it, too.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

My Obsession - Kinda...

I re-read Twilight in preparation for the upcoming movie. And yes, I do have tickets to the midnight premiere (I plan on wearing my Halloween costume but then there are these other shirts that I kinda wish I found before I made mine...).

And I gotta say...I think the thrill might be gone. Maybe its knowing how it all ends that is doing it or maybe it's just because I saw this hilarious spoof on the trailer. Wanna see it?

I think I might like it better than the actual trailer! At the behest of a devoted fan, I read Stephenie Meyer's "Midnight Sun," which is the Twilight book from Edward's perspective. She stopped writing it just before the critical meadow scene because the unfinished manuscript was leaked onto the Internet. Still, it helps explain a little better how someone as magnificent as Edward would be interested in boring Bella. And there are some lines in there that just kill me, like on page 112, at the bottom.

Today is da Boo's birthday party and I've made three cakes in the past two days so I'm a little busy...enjoy the trailer and I'll see ya soon!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Happy Birthday, Boo!

Six years ago was an interesting day.

Six years ago, our first child was born after 24 hours of unsuccessful labor and then a c-section.

Six years ago, I fell in love with someone I had been waiting years to meet.

Six years ago, I didn't know someone so small could be so important.

Six years ago, I underestimated small children while overestimating myself.

Six years ago, I had no imagination and couldn't draw a horse if my life depended on it.

Six years ago, my best friend was an adult, not a little girl.

Six years ago, I wondered about this day...about who she would become and whether I was up to the task.

Six years later, I still wonder who she will become and whether I am ready for her to keep growing up.

Happy Birthday, Boo!

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