A Pet Peeve Resolved

There's a meme going around about pet peeves. Luckily, I haven't been tagged (don't get any ideas, people). The problem is, I have far too many pet peeves. You know how people always say "Don't sweat the petty things," right? Well, getting irate over small issues is one of my favorite things to do with my spare time.

One of my pet peeves: automatic car washes.

"What?" you are probably thinking. "Those are water-powered blessings from heaven...how can you possibly not like automatic car washes?"

Simple: I can't drive. Anyone who drives with me knows this to be true, especially the Man. I have a hard enough time keeping my vehicle in my own lane, much less trying to navigate up to those little metal ramp things that trigger the car wash. I'm forever being told to Move Forward, Stop, Backup, Move Forward, Stop, Backup. I think I've even managed to break them before, since the car wash never started and all the lights on the little sign started flashing...oops! But never again, folks.

I had my oil changed recently and as part of the service, you get a free car wash afterwards. I love Grease Monkey. They also leave mints and a little carnation on your dashboard. So cute! Anyway, I dread the car wash but the kids know it's coming and look forward to it. Can't disappoint them, right? So I grudgingly aim my van toward the car wash entrance. But as I enter, it is as if they have set little blue magical fairies to light my path. There is no evil ramp daring me to squeeze my tire onto it...instead, the area is lined with blue reflector lights. All you have to do is stop when the Stop light flashes to let the show begin.

Did you hear me, people? NO RAMP! No need to sweat bullets and condemn my drivers ed instructors for never teaching me this skill! No more tears when I am backing up for the fourth time, while other cars are waiting patiently for their turn! No more dreading getting the car washed! So, my friends, if you, too, fear the hostile ramp lurking in car washes, then patronize Grease Monkey, where you can sip beverages, munch popcorn, and watch as they change your oil. Then enjoy the stress-free car wash. It's almost as good as a trip to a spa.

Oh, and tell them I sent you.