"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." - Ronald Reagan

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The Presence of Presents

Today is my birthday.

Everyone get up and dance!

Okay, that was fun. Now sit back down.

So, today is my birthday. And because of all the chaos and turmoil that we've had around here lately (which I still can't blog about...), the Man hasn't been able to plan anything for my birthday.

"No worries," I told him. "I already know what I want, so I'll just go get it."
He'd be off the hook and I'd be utterly pleased with my present. But he didn't go for it.
"It's not a puppy," I promised.
Still a no go.
"I won't spend more than $75."

And why, you may ask? Because my husband knows me and he knows I want a pet. Birds. Zebra finches, to be specific. For the past year, I've promised myself that this year, I would get birds. This year, I'd been patient long enough and it was time he considered what I wanted instead of what was comfortable for him. This year, I would ask for forgiveness instead of permission. But now that it's time, I just can't do it. I can't willing do something that I know is going to upset the Man.

And I still really want those birds...

What is one birthday present that you really wanted but never got?

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Holed Up

Sorry for the delay in posting. We've had a whole heap of "fun" around here that the Man doesn't want me to post about (but call me later and we'll chat!). I finally got all of the new cake pictures up, so run and take a look! Then come back and tell me which one is your favorite because I could really use some positive vibes...

The Cake Cow

Friday, September 18, 2009

Finally, I Have A Green Thumb!

Why, yes, I am making some rather colorful cakes this weekend...why do you ask?

Kinda looks like I have a smiley face on my palm there. And the fingertip that's blue? On the other side, the entire nail is blue, too.

And I really ought to be finishing up the second cake instead of blogging...

Take a peek at The Cake Cow on Sunday to see the new cakes from the weekend!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


I recently created a new label for my posts: Milestones. Some of my readers are just here for the updates on the kiddos. They don't want to hear about my failed diet or my current whining. Just the kids. Yesterday's post on the Boy's first dentist visit falls into the Milestones category. So does today's posts.

Baby is teething. Normally, she doesn't cry much at all. Lately, she's been more prone to whining and easily upset. Something is different. Sure enough, the tell-tale red bump appeared on her lower gum. It took nearly two weeks but a tooth sprouted! But before I was able to get a good picture of it...another one came through right next to it, like a ninja tooth.

Nine months old and two teeth. And a future career in yoga.

Now when she tries to eat my toes, it tickles. But once she gets teeth on the top, it's gonna hurt.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Another First ( but wouldn't that make it a second?)

When it comes to questions about parenting, there are too many answers. Have you ever asked someone how long they nursed their child? It's mind-boggling how many different replies you will get, ranging from "I never breast-fed" to "I'm still nursing and little Judy will be sixteen in March." Same thing happened when, as a fairly new mom, I asked at what age parents took their kids to the dentist. Some will tell you that they need to go as soon as they have teeth (is that really practical?) and others will say they have a sixth grader who hasn't been yet. After asking, my dentist* - who I love and adore more than should be expected - he suggested they come before starting kindergarten. Boo had her first appointment nearly two years ago.

It was the Boy's turn.

He came with us for Boo's recent check-up so he knew what to expect, where to sit, how wide to open his mouth, etc. He was ready! Just like his sister, the Boy was allowed to bring a small toy to hold during the cleaning. He asked to bring the mee mee.

We arrive early and I'm waiting for the hygienist to go through the same introduction to the tools of the trade that da Boo got. Nope. This girl is all business. She starts right in on him. No worries; my kid is a champ.

Then she tries to take x-rays. You know, when they stick that plastic tab in your mouth, making it pinch you while they run out of the room to press a button? Yeah, that one. Hey, it hurts when they make me do it so I wasn't surprised when the Boy whimpers and then spits out the x-ray thinger. Even da Boo hasn't had them taken because her mouth is so small. But the hygienist is determined and tries to put it back in. He gives it one more try - same results.

Note to self: the mee mee is too easily used to block access to the Boy's mouth...do not allow on future trips.

I suggest that she might want to skip it this time, that perhaps his mouth is a little too small. From her reaction, I might have suggested that flossing is a big scam created by the toothpaste industry just to get us to buy more products. But the mee mee isn't budging from around the Boy's mouth. Plus, it was in need of a washing so she was probably afraid to touch it. After I promise the Boy that he doesn't have to try again, the mee mee is lowered and work can resume.

And guess what? NO cavities! We celebrated by having ice cream at Sonic. And then flossing.

* As mentioned in a previous post, my dentist works with his identical twin brother, also a dentist. When the Boy's dentist was looking over his teeth, the other brother walked in...it nearly blew my mind, seeing both of them - looking like exactly the same person but in two different locations. I don't know why I feel the need to mention it...seriously weird, though.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Yoga Master

Okay, we all know that Baby is a bit special...odd, even. But we love her anyway, quirks and all. Despite my usual over-share of information regarding this little person, there are a couple things I haven't told you.

Most babies have an adorable, infectious laugh that makes everyone in the room smile. Baby doesn't laugh like that. She cackles.

No, really, she does!

I've tried to record her but she's not very cooperative. (Probably knows I use it against her when she's a teenager.) And still, making her laugh never ceases to make me laugh, too. But if she ever turns to a life of crime, she's already got the required super-villain laugh down.

And one more thing...Baby seems to be some sort of yoga prodigy. See, she really likes to look at you upside-down but it's not easy for a non-crawling baby to be upside-down without someone holding her. Baby has found a way around that.

I think it's her super soft and slippery hair that makes this possible. It's rather distracting seeing her like this. She arches her back and cackles at ya. I can't get anything done around here.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

How To Make Movie Night Awkward

Last night we invited over the kids' best buddies for a movie night. They got to wear their pajamas and have dinner while sitting in the living room, watching a movie. It was going to be awesome.

Boo was particularly excited and kept reminding J that he was coming over on Friday night. Every morning, she wanted a countdown of the remaining days and then hours leading up to this wonderful occasion. She and the Boy were actually happy when I told them it was time to clean up the living room before their friends arrived.

The movie? Milo & Otis.

I got this movie earlier in the week while at Target. It starred a pug and I am crazy about pugs. And it was five bucks. Perfect!

I probably should have screened it before letting the kids watch...oh sure, the kitten and puppy get into all sorts of misadventures but it's a fun little romp - that is, until they fall in love. Not with each other, of course. Milo meets a pretty white kitten and Otis rescues a precocious pug with a fancy french name. Still...not so bad. Until the babies arrive.

That's right. Babies. They show the cat and dog giving birth. There's blood. There's gore. There's some really not cute little animals. Ewww.

Shortly after the births, the following conversation takes place:

J: This is weird.
Boo: Yeah. How did they get there?
Me: What?
Boo: How did the babies get there, Mom?
Me: Hey, who wants some CHOCOLATE?!?!

I was chased into the kitchen by screaming children who were now completely distracted from having "the talk."

This movie ranks right up there with Thomas and the Magic Railroad.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

A Warning to Others

Alternate Titles: "oh chee momma...," "Losing 10 Pounds the Really Painful Way," or "All I Needed to Know About Dieting I Learned in the Bathroom."


Would you be disappointed if I told you I didn't make it the full 48 hours? I had no choice, really. It was either make the deadline and possibly die or eat something and live to serve as a warning to others.

As you may or may not know, I have quite the extensive surgical history. One of those events involved the removal of my gall bladder. And people without gall bladders should not attempt an all-liquid diet. The end results are something very much like that time I decided to test my mother's warning that eating too many died apricots would be a bad thing. I spent the better part of my day yesterday in the bathroom. At one point, the Boy strolled in to talk to me. I don't remember the conversation but I'm sure my responses were more easily understood in Klingon.

Also? I have issues with my blood sugar. When it gets low, I get a headache. At the time of that last post, my head was hurting. But not an hour after, my head was throbbing. There were flashes of light and stabbing pain, which, I'm told, are very bad things when it comes to your head. And I kinda need my head in working order so I can remember how to properly make chocolate milk.

Then the nausea set in. I didn't want to take any pills for my headache because I was convinced it would just come back up, bringing with it all that juice. The end result would be eerily similar to liquefied orange jello with little bits of marshmallow.

I was in the bathroom, head clutched between my hands, trash can handy, and I was thinking that maybe Weight Watchers wasn't such a bad idea, even if they do make you eat vegetables. Surely public display of fatness was the better option.

So I ate a little food, took some pain-killers, dumped the rest of the juice down the drain, and cracked open a Diet Pepsi. It took a couple hours for things to settle back down to normal but I managed to pull through.

And I lost five pounds.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Will Power

I am considering going on a diet.

I know, I know...most of you are shocked because I obviously don't need to lose weight, right? Hey, the Michelin Man has got it going ON and so do I, right? But that little punk Wii Fit gasps every time I step on and it would be nice to be able to fit into some of my older clothes. And I'd really like to not be mistaken for a pregnant woman by complete strangers.

This diet is one of those "change your lifestyle" ones where they give you a long list of everything you can no longer eat and then a few items that are still allowed. The problem is the diet takes some money to get started. Before I spend all that cash, I wanted to give myself a test to see if I really could resist my favorite guilty pleasures (ie: everything in my pantry).

Back in my youthful days, I tried this "Hollywood 48-hour Diet," where you drink juice for two days, shedding pounds with every sip. While I didn't got the boasted 10 pounds, I still lost a few. However, I could never go the full 48 hours! I got too hungry, couldn't fight a craving for something chewy, or simply forgot and ate something (like half a pan of brownies). So this was my test: go the full 48 hours. No cheating. (And we all know how much I love to cheat...)

I started drinking the juice Sunday night. No worries. I like the taste. In between sips of juice, I'd have some water. That's it. NO CHEATING. It wasn't until Boo got home from school on Monday that I nearly had to lock myself in my room to keep from snacking (but that really wouldn't have helped as I have a chocolate stash in there). I desperately wanted something to chew! Give me nachos! I need one of those cheese biscuits that we had for dinner! A tootsie roll! ANYTHING! It was agony but I survived. I did make one mistake, though. When I was making the Boy a peanut butter sandwich, I licked the knife when I was done because I always do. Habits - especially those involving food - are hard to break.

Now, with 40 hours down and 8 to go...I think I might be done. I don't know if I can handle it anymore. I'm starving. I have a headache. All the hidden goodies are screaming my name (shoot, even the forgotten leftovers stuffed in the back of the fridge are beginning to sound appealing). Instead of diving head-first into the kids' collection of fruit snacks, I'm blogging.

So close...so close...

What do you do to resist the cravings?

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