"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." - Ronald Reagan

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Worst Movie Ever

No, I'm not talking about "Twilight."

Every now and then, I let the kids have a "movie night," where I microwave them a Kids Cuisine and let them eat in front of the tv while watching a movie of their choosing. Lately, we've been on a "Madagascar 2" kick but that's over, apparently. Tonight, they chose "Thomas and the Magic Railroad."

I got this movie a while ago, when the Boy was first getting interested in Thomas the Tank Engine. It was only $5 at Target and had big names like Alec Baldwin, Henry Fonda and that cute little girl from "Mrs. Doubtfire" (who, unfortunately, has reached her awkward tween years).

The acting is horrendous and the lines...oh, some of the lines are agony!

Here are what I consider the best of the worst:
  • "I'm at the windmill. Now that's what I call a perfect landing."
  • "Oh, Lily, I'm so glad to see you." (said absolutely devoid of emotion...)
  • "I don't know what eventually means but it sounds very, very long."
  • "Planes. Trains. Mountain. Fountain. I might be on to something there. I think I'll try the celery."
  • "That's my shell phone." (and yes, it was a shell.)
My personal favorite:
  • "Well, my Lady, the lights are green for you, now. Green for glory."
And if you ask a dog which train you are supposed to take, don't look so confused when you end up on the wrong one.

Oh, the things we suffer through for the sake of the children...


Kristina P. said...

Wow, and I thought Twilight was bad too!

It was good to see you again today. And your little one really is beautiful. I was still scared to hold her.

Jillybean said...

Seriously Jessica, this was Thomas the train (my personal LEAST favorite) Did you really think it was going to be even remotely watchable?

A show with trains sitting on tracks talking to each other?

The kids loved it didn't they? It's their new personal favorite, and you're going to be stuck watching it five times a day every day FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!

Not that we have any personal experience with that.

BTW I know where you can find a very well used copy of "The brave little toaster" for really cheap.

Lola....L..O..L..A....lo--oh--luh! said...

The 2 year old that rules our home will only allow us to watch Thomas the Tank Engine episodes.

I'll try not to let this particular movie into our home!

Amber said...

Thanks for sharing your baby with me today. I think I feel my uterus aching now. My husband does not thank you for that.

Also? So glad we don't have to watch train movies here.

Brooke said...

Hey we have that movie too. Andrew used to like it, but havn't heard much about it for a good year or more.
What did the kids think?
I think your personal favorite definitely takes the cake, but #2 on the "best of the worst" is a close second.
I'm laughing just thinking about them, they're awful!

::Jan:: said...

Chugga chugga Thomas... Sounds cute Jessica. Sounds like the babe is being loved enough :)

Kristie said...

We have that movie too, but we haven't watched it in a loooong time!! Hopefully they will be on to the next phase of favorite movies soon!!

Me said...

Seriously..the things we watch for our children! I think the Thomas episodes on TV are bad enough..I can only imagine a full length film! Eek!

Melanie J said...

Oh, yes. I've suffered through this one. Worst.movie.ever. Ever!

Kathy said...

Ah the things we do for our children - what a good mom! So nice to meet you yesterday. Thanks for stopping by my blog :)

amelia said...

Ah, I remember my brother being obsessed with Thomas when he was little and having to suffer through boring lessons. George Carlin couldn't have spiced it up?

It was good meeting you Saturday Jessica! Your little one is a doll. I'll have fun blogstalking you :)

Kelly said...

So glad I have a little girl :)

So said...

I dislike Thomas and in any and all forms. I'm so grateful none of my kids were "into" him.

It was great to meet you on Saturday! Very cool that we are kind of sort of neighbors. And your baby is beautiful.

Nat said...

Ha ha ha! I hate that movie, too! Another one I can't stand is Happy Feet.

Amanda said...

That was my daughter's favorite movie when she was 2.5. She would watch it over and over again.

Fiauna said...

My youngest boy just out grew Thomas. I'm praying that my little girl won't pick up the habit. And, like Nat posted above, I too hate Happy Feet. What a terrible movie.

wonder woman said...

Alec Baldwin was beyound horrible in this. I always wonder what on EARTH made him take the role. Truly ridiculous, it is.

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