"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." - Ronald Reagan

Monday, February 23, 2009

Top Ten Reasons Why It Sucks When Your Husband Is Out Of Town

I'm not saying the Man really is out of town (because I'm paranoid enough, people) but if he were...these are the reasons why it would potentially suck. Hypothetically speaking, of course.
  1. My feet are perpetually cold. There's no one to warm them up at night. No way am I wearing socks. Maybe we should rent a dog for when the Man isn't here to fulfill his duties.
  2. I have to change all stinky diapers. Sure, Boo takes care of the wet one but the messy diapers are still a little too gross for her delicate constitution.
  3. All trespassing spiders receive a stay of execution. So the spider in the bathroom gets to live trapped underneath that cup for a little while longer.
  4. I have to get up when the kids do and get them breakfast. Usually, the Man feeds them and then heads off to work so I get to snooze a little while longer to catch up on the sleep I missed while spending "quality time" with Baby in the wee hours of the morning.
  5. Bored, bored, bored. It's a good thing I joined Facebook or I'd have no idea what to do with all this empty time.
  6. My panic attacks are going into overdrive, especially at night when I'm trying to fall asleep. Was that the heater turning on? Or was it a band of vicious burglars breaking down the garage door? Was that one of the kids' coughing in their sleep? Or are they silently choking to death while I just lay here? Such happy thoughts...
  7. There's no tag-team. And my split personality doesn't count.
  8. I have to do all the Man Jobs. I got married so I wouldn't have to take out the trash anymore. Too bad the kids are still too young to haul the big trash can down to the curb...
  9. There's no escaping them! I am the only adult present and am therefore the only one who can supervise baths, break up fights, refill drink cups, deliver punishments, distribute bribes, and run away from tickle attacks.
  10. No one to cuddle with on the couch while watching tv. No big hugs when he gets home from work. No kisses to reassure me that he is still head-over-heels in love with me.
*sigh*

If the Man really were gone, then I would really be missing him right now...

What do you to when your Significant Other is away?

18 comments:

Amber said...

The last time Jermie went out of town, I had a stack of about 4 bags of trash waiting for him to take out :) It's just his thing- I can't do it!

Look on the bright side- You have an excuse not to cook anything beyond Mac and Cheese and Chicken Nuggets!

Jo said...

Good thing he isn't really out of town, otherwise that would be quite terrible. I miss my man when he is gone. I have grownup sons I can call in a spider/trash/scared emergency and that is nice.

Me said...

Its a good thing he isn't really out of town..I would be worried about you. You would sound over-worked, under-paided and over-stressed.

Luckily my husband doesn't leave town without me. There have been times when he has had to work graveyards? Does that count? It does in my book. I replace the empty spot with 'The purse' and all its contents. I'm on my own for everything else though..diapers, trash, spiders..all mine!

Kristina P. said...

It amazes me that you can still be bored with all those cute kids running around!

Jessica G. said...

Kristina - that's the problem...they aren't running around. They're asleep!

Lola....L..O..L..A....lo--oh--luh! said...

When my husband isn't home I let the house go to pot, don't clean out the dishwasher, order pizza, watch movies, and hog the whole bed. Good times!

Bobie said...

I love my hubby a whole lot, but the thought of a break for a couple days out weighs all the bad, even the cold feet!! Doesn't seperation actually bring you closer. hmmmm I wonder where I can send him off to!!

Jessica said...

My top 10 lists are pretty similar to yours! Dru has been out of town at least once a month since we moved-yuck! I have learned that we have pancakes for dinner, rent lots of movies, watch tons of HGTV and try really really hard not to go CRAZY!

Nat said...

I hope his hypothetical trip is over soon!

When my hubs is gone, I stay up as late as I can so that when I go to bed I am too tired to notice he is gone!

Fiauna said...

It makes me sad just thinking about it. Luckily, my husband is very rarely gone over night.

Brooke said...

Can I say ditto, to the previous post? Because I think you just about covered it.
Although I do tend to head out of town when Allen is away, I have the kids all to myself anyway, why not go somewhere (Disneyland...visit my family...).

Diane said...

I have just what you need....SPARKY!! He barks at any potential intruder (or potential nice person) at the door, entertains children for hours (as long as they can throw a ball for him to fetch that long), snuggles with you while you watch TV and keeps your toes warm at night (he loves to burrow under blankets and covers). He's also house trained (if you take him out regularly). You are more than welcome to borrow him anytime!

The Slothower Family said...

I remember crying a lot the last time Kalani went out of town. I was so happy to have him home I literally jumped into his arms! Never mind that I broke his back, He was home again and I wasn't alone anymore. Let me know if there is anything I can do for you. Do you need chocolate?

Jessica said...

I feel you on this. My man is is also hypothetically out of town. It's only fun for a day or two, then it gets old.

Bonnie the Boss said...

I miss the refereeing and I don't sleep as well either. But i don't ever get bored.

Jessica said...

Diane - I might just take you up on your offer! It would be a good practice run for the real thing, right?

Popcorn House said...

Daniel was just gone for a FULL MONTH! My list would look exactly like yours. I also ate popcorn every night with REAL butter on it. I felt like I deserved the popcorn for surviving the day with five young children.....however then I gained five pounds! I guess I would put that on the list as well.

wonder woman said...

What do I do when my man is gone? Stay awake till he comes home at 1 am. (These guys' nights are getting ridiculous.) If I don't, I lay in bed for HOURS obsessing that this is what it would be like if he were dead.

Loved your lists!! I can SO relate.

Blog Archive