Being a Bionic Babe

Okay, so I'm not really a babe...but sometimes I cry like a baby, so that totally counts, right?

Things I've learned since becoming Bionic:

• Magnets do not stick to surgical steel body parts. It would have made the church Talent Show a lot more interesting, though.
• Currently, I have roughly enough metal in my arm to make my own table setting of flatware.
• If your friends have a tendency to smack you playfully in the shoulder and you have a tendency to clang like a bell when smacked, be sure to sit with one side against the wall as a form of protection.
• Getting to know the TSA staff at the airport is not nearly as cool as one might think. And no, they don't accept a note from your doctor.
• Did you ever have an crotchety old relative that used to moan about their knee paining just before a storm moved in? Yeah, that wasn't an exaggeration. I can feel it. And it turns me into a crotchety old relative, too.
• Having a man call you "complex" is not exactly a compliment. Especially when that man is a medical professional at the top of his field. It also sucks when this happens twice in one week - with two separate doctors.
• My cursing gets really creative when I'm hurting but I don't want my kids repeating what I mutter. The current favorite is "scum mudge-gery." I have no idea what it means but I sure feel better after spitting it out.
• When I talk about getting my new implants, the people listening do not immediately think of shoulders, but of items more in the silicone genre, which can cause some interesting looks.