"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." - Ronald Reagan

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Being a Bionic Babe

Okay, so I'm not really a babe...but sometimes I cry like a baby, so that totally counts, right?

Things I've learned since becoming Bionic:
  • Magnets do not stick to surgical steel body parts. It would have made the church Talent Show a lot more interesting, though.
  • Currently, I have roughly enough metal in my arm to make my own table setting of flatware.
  • If your friends have a tendency to smack you playfully in the shoulder and you have a tendency to clang like a bell when smacked, be sure to sit with one side against the wall as a form of protection.
  • Getting to know the TSA staff at the airport is not nearly as cool as one might think. And no, they don't accept a note from your doctor.
  • Did you ever have an crotchety old relative that used to moan about their knee paining just before a storm moved in? Yeah, that wasn't an exaggeration. I can feel it. And it turns me into a crotchety old relative, too.
  • Having a man call you "complex" is not exactly a compliment. Especially when that man is a medical professional at the top of his field. It also sucks when this happens twice in one week - with two separate doctors.
  • My cursing gets really creative when I'm hurting but I don't want my kids repeating what I mutter. The current favorite is "scum mudge-gery." I have no idea what it means but I sure feel better after spitting it out.
  • When I talk about getting my new implants, the people listening do not immediately think of shoulders, but of items more in the silicone genre, which can cause some interesting looks.


Kristina P. said...

I'm glad your surgery went well!!

Amanda said...

I am guessing from the above comment that you already had your surgery???? I hope the recovery is good and fast (although let's be honest that's probably too much to ask for...right???) And the not being able to say one even half-bad word when something hurts a lot around kids is super hard! I end up saying "shoot" and "poop" a lot!

Derrolyn said...

Hats off to you for creative cursing! I tend to revert back to my teenage potty-mouth in painful moments. Oh boy - I never even thought about how much fun it must be to go through airport security :(!
Best wishes for a speedy recovery- you complex thing you.

Debi said...

I hope you get to feeling better soon. As usual, you have your funny side to help you through it. :)

Jessica said...

Hope things went okay! Thinking of ya!

Mary said...

I may not be bionic, but the pain in my legs LITERALLY brings me to my knees when the storm fronts come in. Love ya BABE!!!

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