"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." - Ronald Reagan

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Being a Bionic Babe

Okay, so I'm not really a babe...but sometimes I cry like a baby, so that totally counts, right?

Things I've learned since becoming Bionic:
  • Magnets do not stick to surgical steel body parts. It would have made the church Talent Show a lot more interesting, though.
  • Currently, I have roughly enough metal in my arm to make my own table setting of flatware.
  • If your friends have a tendency to smack you playfully in the shoulder and you have a tendency to clang like a bell when smacked, be sure to sit with one side against the wall as a form of protection.
  • Getting to know the TSA staff at the airport is not nearly as cool as one might think. And no, they don't accept a note from your doctor.
  • Did you ever have an crotchety old relative that used to moan about their knee paining just before a storm moved in? Yeah, that wasn't an exaggeration. I can feel it. And it turns me into a crotchety old relative, too.
  • Having a man call you "complex" is not exactly a compliment. Especially when that man is a medical professional at the top of his field. It also sucks when this happens twice in one week - with two separate doctors.
  • My cursing gets really creative when I'm hurting but I don't want my kids repeating what I mutter. The current favorite is "scum mudge-gery." I have no idea what it means but I sure feel better after spitting it out.
  • When I talk about getting my new implants, the people listening do not immediately think of shoulders, but of items more in the silicone genre, which can cause some interesting looks.

6 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I'm glad your surgery went well!!

Amanda said...

I am guessing from the above comment that you already had your surgery???? I hope the recovery is good and fast (although let's be honest that's probably too much to ask for...right???) And the not being able to say one even half-bad word when something hurts a lot around kids is super hard! I end up saying "shoot" and "poop" a lot!

Derrolyn said...

Hats off to you for creative cursing! I tend to revert back to my teenage potty-mouth in painful moments. Oh boy - I never even thought about how much fun it must be to go through airport security :(!
Best wishes for a speedy recovery- you complex thing you.

Debi said...

I hope you get to feeling better soon. As usual, you have your funny side to help you through it. :)

Jessica said...

Hope things went okay! Thinking of ya!

Mary said...

I may not be bionic, but the pain in my legs LITERALLY brings me to my knees when the storm fronts come in. Love ya BABE!!!

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