"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." - Ronald Reagan

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Everybody Hurts

One of the problem with being bionic is that I look like everyone else. And since there doesn't appear to be anything wrong with me, I am treated just like everyone else. I get hugged (I am very huggable; can't help it). I get smacked in jest when I make snarky comments (which is a lot). I get tapped on the shoulder to get my attention. I get hurt. Because there is something wrong with me, even if you can't see it.

I attempted to alter this by wearing a sling when around a lot of people who don't really know me. You'd be surprised by how many people will touch an arm when it's in a sling. But not nearly as surprised as they were when I'd punch them for grabbing me.

I am due to have an upgrade on my shoulder. What I've got now is metal. And out of socket. And loose. So…it hurts. A lot. Seriously. I have chronic pain that goes up and down the scale depending on how I slept, the weather, and how funky I got in Zumba that morning. But it's always there. Always.

Since I am in pain, the logical thing to do would be to take a pill, fill an ice bag, and then collapse on a comfortable surface. However, the heavy-duty meds put me under or make me see light trails. That's not exactly an ideal situation when I've still got Baby running around, looking for different things to mark on with her crayons. Instead, I take an over-the-counter pill that takes the pain levels down a notch or two but still allows me to stay conscious (and aware of where Baby is trying to leave her mark). Ice bags are nice, but they don't always stay in place. When you're minding your own business, enjoying the cold numbness, only to have the ice bag slip down behind you to the exposed skin of your lower back…not so nice. Also? Whenever I am not actively moving, my dog is actively trying to get on my lap. And if I'm laying down, she's perfectly content to perch on me (sometimes on my head).

Each day, I take my safe meds and attempt to contain Baby, while letting the dog sit on me. And I make it through. It's not a perfect situation but I've survived this long.

Except now.

Now, the doctor said I have to stop my pills. For an entire week.

So if I'm a little grumpy next time we meet, please forgive me.

And maybe give me some chocolate.

* Images from Google Images.


Amanda said...

Oh man. I hope ur upgrade helps with the pain! i understand about being in chronic pain. although i am sure mine is not as bad as urs ....yet....but it makes it very hard somedays to pick out the positive

Derrolyn said...

I'm so sorry to hear that it's much worse than I imagined.

I'm sitting here, racking my brain for something comforting to say that won't sound overly cheery, condescending or hopelessly trite.


I'm so sorry to hear that it's much worse than I imagined.


Nat said...

Oooh. No fun. Are you going to have surgery again?

Christine Rains said...

Oh, you poor dear. I can't imagine how hard that's going to be. If it makes you even feel a tiny bit better, you have a new Zombie Valentine book on its way to you.

Queenie Jeannie said...

Oh no! Why do you have to stop??? Ouchie! Here's some chocolate and a pass from Zumba!!!

Mary said...

Oh sweetie! People always look at me funny when I have the industrial size bottle of Tylenol and other random pain killers...but I know you understand!

Much love sent your way, and here's to happy healing!!!

Love you bunches!!

Kristie said...

So sorry Jess!! I wish I could do something to make it better. Since I can't be there to take your kids or have you come over to take your mind off of things, just know that I will be praying for you during this hard, drug free week!!! Love ya lots!!

Karen Peterson said...

What is it with people touching stuff that is obviously not working right? When I broke my arm last year and was in a sling, it was amazing how many people tried to fix the sling for me or other "helpful" things that only hurt a lot and made it worse.

But I guess they care.

I hope you make it through the week without killing anyone!

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