Friday Confessional #2

I Confess...

I have no fashion sense. Just one look at what I'm wearing will tell you that.

I buy outfits based on the mannequin or pictures, just so I'm sure things go together.

Even though I love watching Project Runway (so does the Man but don't tell him I told you), I rarely pick the right winning outfit. In fact, quite frequently, my favorites are amongst the "worst" according to the judges, with descriptions like "matronly," "boring," or "out-dated." Yep. That's pretty much me.

I recently purchased a new top and was all excited that it was green because I don't have many shirts that are green. But when I hung it up in my closet, I realized I had a nearly identical top in blue. No wonder I liked it so much.

And I really wish I had more shoes. I've tried! I go to shoe stores and try on some adorable pairs that go with absolutely nothing I own. Usually, they don't fit or I can't walk in them. Chubby ladies should not attempt stiletto heels. I think it might void my health insurance.

I'm beyond professional help. Not even my most fashionable friends can help because, honestly, clothes for fat ladies aren't that great. They either attempt to draw attention away from the huge buttocks and direct it to the plunging cleavage. Or they are in denial that a woman with my curves would have a muffin top. Honey, I gots me a whole lotta muffin.

I'm not color-blind, just fashion-blind.

Now go visit Mamarazzi, who is most fashionable and definitely not a jerk.