"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." - Ronald Reagan

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Obligatory Halloween Post

Wanna see our costumes this year? Of course you do!


Boo was the only rag doll at her school and loved every minute of it. The Boy was one of many law-enforcement specialists at his preschool (because G.I. Joe and superheroes fight crime, too). He also picked his costume because it came with the most stuff. Baby carried on the family tradition of wearing the pumpkin costume that I made for Boo's first Halloween. She wasn't very happy about this poofy orange outfit, but really liked wearing the hat.

And for only the second time since we've been married, I managed to convince the Man to dress up for a party. There was no getting him into a long wig or Birkenstocks but hey, I'll take what I can get at this point. I tried wearing the white face make-up but it did NOT look good, so I opted for powder that was too pale for my complexion instead. Can you guess how we go together?


Hrmmmm...think about it. A hippie and a mime (which was ironic because there is no way to get me to shut up so I wasn't a very good mime). What does a hippie say? And what adjective describes a mime? Think about it...

Thanks for Tolerating Me

Dear Neighbors,

Thank you for inviting our family to your Halloween party. We were really excited to get the invitation, as we don't get out much. And I was super stoked when you asked me to bring a dessert! So I put my whole heart and half my brain into making you something special. I really hoped you enjoyed it and that those gagging noises are the way you express happiness.

Sincerely,
Your new favorite neighbor

(The details on the heart are a little muted...I left it in hot water just a little too long...)

Thursday, October 29, 2009

A Mothering Moment...that dissolved into fits of giggles and snorting

I am not allowed to give details about the drama/stress/agony that's been saturating our humble family but I will say this...

It's a lot harder than you think to explain kidney stones to kids.

And when you've got a stone right there in your collection cup, it's even harder to do it with a straight face.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Mmmmm...Cake!

(This is an old post that I never published...oops!)

In grand birthday tradition, my kids decorated my birthday cake the Sunday before my birthday. Aunt Denise always bakes me a chocolate cake using the recipe on the back of the Hershey's Cocoa Powder can (so I don't have to go without or break down and bake it myself). Then she brings over frosting and decorations. The kids go wild! Every year, it gets more and more elaborate. This year was by far the most decorated...


Don't they look pleased? As rightly they should! I don't think they left any portion of the cake uncovered by frosting or doused with sprinkles.

Boo even wrote "Happy Birthday Mom" which you can just barely see through all the sprinkles...Here is Baby's contribution:


She had to do it twice because the Boy covered up her first effort with his sprinkles. She didn't seem to mind! Unfortunately, I was recovering from a touch of food poisoning and just couldn't eat birthday cake. By my actual birthday, I had recovered enough to enjoy it. And I gotta say...inch-thick frosting topped with another half-inch of sprinkles sure does cheer up a person!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Halloween is FUN!

Halloween is my favorite holiday! I have almost as many spooky decorations as I do Christmas decorations. The kids' costumes are fun to plan/plot/beg. Even I get into the act (but the Man is a stick in the mud). And I love cold, drizzly autumn mornings, which is a good thing since that's what we're getting for the entire week! Now, if only my kids hadn't jammed the only working umbrella in the house...

So I'm not trying to be like Be Different...Act Normal - because I'm not nearly that cool - but I have to share some of my Halloween favorites!

First of all, tomorrow night for FHE, we're carving pumpkins. I think I want this one:


Adorable! Found it here. (picture by Paula Hible)

And then, Friday night we're going to a party and I'm so taking these:


I bookmarked there at Gourmet Mom On-the-Go clear back in August. Much, much better than the real tarantula that we saw while camping a little while ago.


He wasn't as cute and I'm betting not as tasty.

What do you have planned for this Halloween?

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Let me make the mistakes so you can learn from them, okay?

I'm about to admit the extent of my geekhood...

I have an alter ego on Facebook.

Yep. Made up a name, personality, even a work history, and got her a Facebook page. Why would I do this, you might ask? Because I needed more people in my mafia and various game neighborhoods. And because I am a total geek.

So here comes the learning experience...
A lot of the Facebook games give you a certain about of energy, experience, whatever. Once you've used it up, you have to wait for it to regenerate. And waiting is boring. Game designers understand, that so they offer bonuses in the form of points, coins, bucks, or some other currency. But in order to get these, you have to pay for them. With real money. They accept most credit cards. Heck, I can even charge it to my cell phone account. Or you can earn those precious points by taking "surveys" and sign up for offers to where they ask for all kinds of personal and financial information. Not gonna do that!

But my alter ego? She doesn't have a social security number; no bank account to plunder. So I figured, why not? Let's see if this works.

I took a short survey on education. It asked all the basic information, but wanted an address and phone number. So I let my imagination rent some space in my house. Just when I was starting to taste those bonus points, our Internet filter blocked the last page. No points. Crud.

That happened at around 11 a.m. on a week day.

At 3 p.m. that same afternoon, I got a phone call from what was obviously a telemarketer. And guess who they wanted? That's right...my fictional character. I was flabbergasted!

But hey, she wasn't home.

Monday, October 19, 2009

A Mothering Moment?

So...I'm sick. Still. This has been dragging out for nearly three weeks! I went to the doctor for the second time today and now have two new prescriptions, both of which make it hazardous to operate heavy machinery. There goes my guest appearance at the rendering plant!

I left church early on Sunday because I thought that the other members of the congregation would much rather hear the speakers as opposed to my constant coughing. When my loving family returned home at the usual time, I may or may not have been passed out in bed, with more than one medication in my system, humidifier cranked up to "Tropical Rain Forest during Monsoon Season", and pillows over my head. This is what happened:

Kids: (much noise and adulation over church being over for another week)
The Man: Hey, you need to be quiet! Mom is asleep upstairs!
Kids: (blinking in disbelief) Mom is in bed? But she hasn't made our lunch yet...

At least they miss me when I'm gone, right?

Monday, October 12, 2009

Angels by Comparison

I used to not like the tv show "Supernanny." It bugged me how the first portion of the show consisted of kids being horrible, parents being worthless, and Jo making faces at the camera. That probably had a lot to do with my ineptitude as a parent. Having no clue how to handle behavioral issues myself, I couldn't sit there and judge these others who were just as clueless.

But now, I've got it down. This week, anyway. Tomorrow might be completely different.

The other night, I was channel-surfing and came across reruns of "Supernanny." Eventually, the kids came and joined me on the couch. They stared in wide-eyed horror as a four-year-old girl threw the biggest tantrum they'd ever seen, completely with spitting, screaming, and flailing about on the floor. Boo turned to me and asked in a very worried voice "We're better kids than that, right?"

The Boy quickly chimed in with "We don't do that, right, Mom?"

I snuggled them both a little closer and assured them that yes, they were very good kids and did not behave like that.

Then after a moment, I added "But now you know what you look like when you throw your fits."

And ever since then, they have really been on their best behavior! I think I might have to insitute a weekly Supernanny session to keep this going...

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Perks of the Job

Being a mom is not always fun. I get pooped on, peed on, puked on, and punched. I hear whining, complaining, naughty words, and very little by way of encouragement. But every now and then...something happens that makes it all worth while.

The circus was in town!

Before we headed into the arena, the kids know that you have to have a buddy so they immediately grabbed the hand of their favorite adult. And no, it wasn't me.


It was this nice young man who happens to be friends with the Co-ed and doesn't yet have a blogging nickname, whom they kids had literally just met about a minute before. Do you like their wizard hats and bags of gold-encrusted cotton candy? Well, it doesn't actually contain gold. It's just priced like it does.


Everyone was ready for a good time!

Baby loved all the music and lights. She was going nuts! And who wouldn't? It's the circus, people! Although I'd only been once before as a teenager, I love the circus. The animal acts are my favorite but I love a good death-defying feat of daring, too. The clowns were funny and the ringmaster was a magician so that was pretty cool. (I promise I had pictures of the others acts but they didn't come out very well...)


What did the kids think?

Awesome. Completely awesome. Can we come again tomorrow night?

And what did Baby think?


Well, we'll ask her later.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

They Hate Me

Dear birthday gods,

Why? Why must you try everything in your power to destroy my birthday? You know how much I look forward to this! You know how I plan and anticipate and still, you try to take it from me. Last year, it was the poop. The year before that, it was the abandonment. But this year, you seem to have pulled out all the stops. I thought it was particularly harsh how you gave me a stomach virus on the eve of my birthday week, cleverly disguising it as possible food poisoning so I wouldn't seek an immediately cure. As if giving me my child's chest cold wasn't enough...combining nausea with a bad cough? Not cool. But now my bathroom is a lot cleaner.

Wasn't it enough that I wussed out on getting the one gift that I really wanted? Or the fact that my son ate most of my birthday chocolate? I suppose that last one was my fault, really. After all, I did give him the chocoholic gene.

Even the weather! You know how I love waking up to a cold, drizzly morning and yet you managed to delay that just one day, so I didn't get to enjoy it on the one morning I get to sleep in. Oh, and thanks for sending in all my family members one by one to take that from me. Just can't sleep when there are cute little ones waiting to give me a birthday hug.

And must you plot with the evil network gods to take my husband away from me at this time every year? Seriously? But even that couldn't make my birthday week go away. I still had plans! I still had friends, family, and a ready supply of babysitters! My birthday was celebrated each and every day, even the day I went to the doctor for that pesky virus. He gave me a rather lovely gift in the form of a prescription.

You had one ace up your sleeve, though. And I'd really like to know how you convinced Mother Nature to give me an early monthly gift. That was just wrong.

Sincerely,
The one who says it's my birthday and I'll wear pajama pants all week if I want

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Picky Picky


I have a dilemma so I come to you, my wise and glorious Internet, for help.

The Boy is a picky eater.

And I mean a really picky eater. His diet consists of cold cereal, peanut butter sandwiches, chicken nuggets, and fruit. He'll eat corn on the cob but not regular corn. Cool new fruits like kiwi don't faze him but the kid balks at pizza! PIZZA! An American staple!

Earlier this year for Mother's Day, his preschool teachers helped him fill out a card for me, listing things like my age (7) and weight (70) and the color of my eyes (he got that one!). When asked for my favorite food, he immediately replied "Yucky food." Anything not within his pre-approved selections is deemed "yucky food." He'll even ask me if something new if yucky or yummy but doesn't trust my answer. Watching his sisters down everything placed in front of them isn't convincing either. We've already determined that Baby eats more things than the Boy.

The hardest part of about trying to get him to eat different foods is the fact that when he gets hungry, he gets grumpy (just like his mommy). I think it has to do with low blood sugar. Gentle encouragement sends him into a screaming fit. Threats cause him to completely shutdown. Feeding him a piece of cheese or a small bunch of grapes a little before dinner or giving him a larger snack both result in declarations of "I'm not hungry."

I tried the whole "just eat one tiny bite" and he ended up screaming and running from the room. When I tried being consistent with that idea, he wouldn't come to the table at all. He refuses to try anything new that isn't a dessert item and makes us all miserable if we try to force the issue. And I just don't know what else to do! I am at my wits' end, people!

What suggestions do you have for getting a picky eater to just try a new food?

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