"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." - Ronald Reagan

Saturday, October 3, 2009

They Hate Me

Dear birthday gods,

Why? Why must you try everything in your power to destroy my birthday? You know how much I look forward to this! You know how I plan and anticipate and still, you try to take it from me. Last year, it was the poop. The year before that, it was the abandonment. But this year, you seem to have pulled out all the stops. I thought it was particularly harsh how you gave me a stomach virus on the eve of my birthday week, cleverly disguising it as possible food poisoning so I wouldn't seek an immediately cure. As if giving me my child's chest cold wasn't enough...combining nausea with a bad cough? Not cool. But now my bathroom is a lot cleaner.

Wasn't it enough that I wussed out on getting the one gift that I really wanted? Or the fact that my son ate most of my birthday chocolate? I suppose that last one was my fault, really. After all, I did give him the chocoholic gene.

Even the weather! You know how I love waking up to a cold, drizzly morning and yet you managed to delay that just one day, so I didn't get to enjoy it on the one morning I get to sleep in. Oh, and thanks for sending in all my family members one by one to take that from me. Just can't sleep when there are cute little ones waiting to give me a birthday hug.

And must you plot with the evil network gods to take my husband away from me at this time every year? Seriously? But even that couldn't make my birthday week go away. I still had plans! I still had friends, family, and a ready supply of babysitters! My birthday was celebrated each and every day, even the day I went to the doctor for that pesky virus. He gave me a rather lovely gift in the form of a prescription.

You had one ace up your sleeve, though. And I'd really like to know how you convinced Mother Nature to give me an early monthly gift. That was just wrong.

Sincerely,
The one who says it's my birthday and I'll wear pajama pants all week if I want

13 comments:

Lola....L..O..L..A....lo--oh--luh! said...

Happy?? Birthday!

I think that maybe you should change your birthday. Maybe move it ahead a month??

Kristina P. said...

I am blaming Mario Lopez for this!!

Jessica G. said...

Lola - Good idea! Might just try that next year.

Kristina - Yes, Mario Lopez is to blame with all that is wrong with this week.

The Boob Nazi said...

Man, that sucks. SORRY! I hate when birthday weeks get ruined.

The Head Eagle said...

Are we serious. We need to open a serious can of Woop-Butt on those Birthday Gods. How dare they....their sense of humor is NOT funny!

Swirl Girl said...

Happy Birthweek and Happy Saturday sharefest!

Jillybean said...

I think you need to reschedule your birthday week, except turn it into a birthday month.

Can I bring you some chocolate? I will bring it in a pizza box so the Boy will leave it alone.

Due to all of the problems you've had, I don't think you need to consider yourself a year older.

Mary~Momathon said...

you deserve a much better birthday! I think you should celebrate your un-birthday! Several times a year!

Kristie said...

Hmmm....sorry about the week! Perhaps you should reschedule your birthday week for this week instead!!

Heather said...

You really should have come to the party I threw you. It was an incredible amount of work and calories. But whatever.

SO said...

What did you ever do to anger them so much?? Let's find something to offer up to them so that next year they will be appeased.

annie valentine said...

Mario Lopez? I'll blame Super Dell. And for the record, the good news is that when your birthday sucks you get a redo the next year.

Erin said...

Happy belated birthday. Although it wasn't very happy. I say celebrate all month long.

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