"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." - Ronald Reagan

Friday, May 9, 2008

A Letter To Me

I listen to Country music. Not all the time, but enough to know some of the good songs. I really like the musician Brad Paisley. He writes some hilarious songs and some very poignant ones. The new one that's popular right now is Letter to Me. It's a song where he writes a letter to himself at 17. He gives advice on lost love, future mistakes and just knowing there is more to life than missing out on a Friday night bonfire.

If I could write a letter to me and send it to myself at 17...

"Dear Jess,

I won't call you Jessie because I know how much you hate it, even though you don't say.

Now, Jess, I know you are cute and fun and have a lot of friends. But please, for the love of all things dark chocolate, stopping shaking your butt so much! Really. I'm not kidding here. I won't tell you to stop chasing after the boys because honestly, those skills come in handy when you finally find the right one.

Pay attention in class. Just because you're smart doesn't mean you don't have to try. And stopping kissing up to your French teacher instead of actually doing the work. It's embarrassing how little French you know after three years!

Eat your vegetables. I'm not saying you have to lovingly devour a salad with every meal but a serving of green stuff isn't gonna kill ya! Enough with the whining and get to it.

Today is your birthday but not a very happy one...you started back at school after missing a month, started physical therapy (which you call physical torture) and you are losing your boyfriend. He doesn't treat you the same way. A lot of people don't. They think you're broken. Cancer isn't contagious so you don't understand why they act like that. You think something really is broken, that you will never have a normal life, never live your dreams. But I know better. I know that this is just the beginning. I know what a strong person this experience will make you and I know how many others you will help because of it. I also know that this is not the end of people treating you this way. Don't give up on yourself. You've got so much ahead of you. You are not broken.

Another thing, listen to your parents. I know...I know...seems like they just want to limit your fun but, Jess, they know what they're talking about. And try to pay attention to your mom. When you have kids of your own, the whole situation will completely boggle your mind and the only thoughts keeping you sane some days will be the good memories of your childhood. The Mom-thing is tough and she does a great job. Maybe you should tell her that more often.


Cherish the friendships you have, especially those three wonderful girls that willing spend time with you despite your different faiths. They are great people and you don't want to lose that friendship. They keep you centered. Wouldn't hurt to hug Stephanie a few extra times, too."


Kenney Crew said...

Hey Jess,
Thanks for sharing your letter. Your perspective on your cancer is comforting. With everything we've been dealing with, I understand the feeling of will I ever get passed this. It's nice to know there's life after recovery. I've grown as a person through our trials and they help define who we've become. With that being said, life moves on and it's nice to know that there's an entire future ahead of us that will continue to define us. I often get referred to as the wife of the sick man. I'm VERY proud of Todd and how he's fought for his health, but it will be nice for people to look at us as just a "normal" couple again and not as being "broken"...does that make sense? Anyway, thanks for sharing!

Tausha said...

That letter was very poignant(i think that is how it's spelled) I enjoyed reading it, and props to you Jess. Don't sell yourself short. Some girl that you dont' even know, thinks that you are pretty tuff-and have lot to offer others!

Lyn's Musings said...

You really know how to get me to turn on the water works. You will have to stay tuned to my Blog, to read anything in true response. May take me a few days, I've got some rather emotional things to deal with first. And then I'll deal with you! Hee hee

I love you!

BkenneyBme said...

I really enjoyed reading your letter, fun and serious. Makes me want to relect on my 17 year old self, and see what I could have told myself.

Debi said...

Who started calling you Jessie? I have never known you by any other name (although I love the name Jessica)....Very touching letter. I have hopefully blocked everything out from my 17 year old mind.... I prefer amnesia...

Kristie said...

And all this time I had NO idea that you didn't like Jessie!!! I enjoyed reading the letter to yourself. I do like that song as well!! Happy Mother's Day!!!

Kelly said...

OMG Jessiemadoodle. You should have said something all those years ago. I swear I will never call you Jessie again. You sure did make me cry at work, thanks! We have been through a lot over the years: we've cried, laughed, and loved. (Throwing you in our pool fully dressed for your 16th B-Day was pretty fun too.) I am proud to call you my best friend and my sister. I too wish I had hugged Steph more :(
Your biggest fan,

Emily said...

I guess It's because I had already left home when you went through it all that I never though of you as broken...

I still for a bit sorry for our kids...They never be able to use anything at all as an excuse for not trying their hardest.

Alison Wonderland said...

Ok, ok I'll leave a comment.
just stopped by, don't know you or your story but I'm liking your blog. And anyone who participates in SOS must be good people.
And I'm right there with you on the name you hate to be called. I'll answer to Alison, or Al or even Hey you, but not Ali, NEVER Ali!

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