"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." - Ronald Reagan

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Mothering Moments: The "Talk" Doesn't Need to Include Details

Soooo…

Boo is at that age where having "the Talk" is necessary. It's never an easy task. In fact, I don't even have my own experience to draw upon because my parents never gave sat me down to explain the birds and the bees. Years later, I asked my mom about this. She said that it's a horribly embarrassing thing to talk about and she knew I'd get the information from my older siblings, friends, and the class they give you at school. True enough. Most of my enlightening happened one afternoon while talking with my friends on the way to the library in the third grade.  And my mom was totally right about the embarrassing part. Although as a teenager, my mom and I had a great relationship and I could easily talk to her about anything so I wasn't naive or ignorant.

But back to the Boo. At her age, she asks a LOT of questions. I'm more of a bare basics kind of mom. If she wants more information later on, we can go over that but right now the emphasis is on our bodies being sacred creations given to us by God and our responsibility to care for and protect them. Other people must respect our bodies. And if they don't, tell a teacher or parent immediately. So we're got that covered.

Then there are the kids at school that tell her other things, things we haven't discussed and frankly don't really want to at this point. But because she not old enough to be embarrassed by asking about these little details, she just shoots away.

Boo: Hey, Mom?
Me: Yes? (I'm not quite tearing my eyes away from the book I'm reading).
Boo: Do you and Daddy touch tongues?
Me: Uh… (Eyes bugging out for a moment there as my book falls out of my hands.)
Boo: Do you?
Me: That sounds pretty gross, don't you think?
Boo: Yeah. (Nodding seriously) It totally does.

Crisis averted! No need elaborate on the different styles of kissing because she's convinced that the idea is utterly unappealing. We'll cross that bridge when having a boyfriend means something other than the kid who saves a seat for you on the bus.

10 comments:

Odie Langley said...

I have 3 grown girls and never got the nerve to have a detailed conversation about these matters but they turned out really well. In my older years I have shared more with Linda's daughter than I ever did with my own. Even bought her books on the subject. In the end she still had to learn the hard way. Oh well...

Amanda said...

Love the book by Linda and Richard eyre "how to talk to ur kids about sex". They are members but don't write the book from being a Mormon....I read their daughters blog....there family is awesome. You can get it on amazon.....I really like a lot of the suggestions in the book and that it is an ongoing open conversation.....with many mini discussions after the actual talk which happens around age 8.... My sis and a few other friends I know love the book too and many of their other parenting books also.

hairyshoefairy said...

Yeah, I'm guessing we'll have a lot more questions from my daughter this time around pregnancy. A friend was over and nursing her baby and she was very interested and curious as to what that was all about. Apparently she doesn't recall much of me nursing my son but this time around she's a lot more observant and quizzical. I'm trying to prepare myself for what might come up.

Me (aka Danielle) said...

I am not looking forward to having the "talks" with my boys. To be honest, I'm hoping to make my husband have these talks with them.

Beth said...

I'm an advocate for the other side. My parents version of the birds and bees was to get my books from the library. Though informative, they're always clinical, and what I wanted (and needed) to know at the time was the full-picture impact (like, hey, even though Disney equates a kiss with love, boys will kiss a girl for reasons other than love). It amuses me that 'touching tongues' made it into her vocabulary, but not "French kiss". I can only imagine what that looks like- sticking your tongue out and touching the tip to someone else's? Ew.

Mary said...

My mom loves to bring up what happened when she answered my question. I was in kindergarten asked where babies come from...and she told me...descriptively. So, I told everyone at school, and my after-school babysitter who was MORTIFIED. Then, when I was 11 my older sister (who was only 16) got pregnant, and she made me tell her everything I knew about sex...very uncomfortable. But, having to help care for my nephew was the best birth control in the world.
Since we only have the boys, that talk is getting pawned off on the hubby :o)

Jessica said...

American girl has a really cute book that we checked out from the library. It had just enough and we just read through it together.

Nat said...

Oh. I had "the talk" with my oldest. Honestly, it wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be. Still, I wish the Hubsters. :)

Janeal said...

You crack me up! I about died of happiness when I saw you have a blog, by the way.

My husband got "the talk" from his two oldest sisters. They still reenact the hand motions they used to explain the birds and the bees to him. (think sperm swimming towards an egg.) poor, scarred children!

elesa said...

She's got a point. It IS pretty gross.

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