"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." - Ronald Reagan

Friday, April 8, 2011

Friday Confessional #5


I confess...

I like to torture my kids. Okay, maybe that doesn't sound right; I don't want anyone calling CPS on me.

I like to pester, tease, and taunt my kids. That's better.

It's great when I know the punchline to their jokes before they give it. They are extremely trusting and just a little too ticklish. I make up silly songs involving them and their various faults character traits. Hey, it's not like I sing them in public...much.

I confess...

April Fool's Day is like giving me a free pass to make them miserable all day long! Last year, I had pneumonia and too busy not dying. This year, I think it's safe to say that I made up for that.

Somehow, Boo's clock got set an hour later so she came rushing into my room, all frantic that she missed the bus. I could hardly go back to sleep, I was cackling with glee.

Then the Boy woke up looking like this:

It was only fair, since he missed out when the leprechaun visited. He didn't seem to mind. In fact, he begged me to let it stay on so he could show his friends at school.

When I fixed Boo's hair for school, I tucked in a hair clip with pink and blue hair attached. Unfortunately, her brother pointed it out to her before she left. She loved it. Hrmm...maybe I was losing my touch.

I let the suspense build all morning. When lunch came without any more incidents, the Boy didn't think it was odd that I was taking pictures of him while he ate. I even gave him Oreos! I must be the coolest mom ever! At least until he ate those cookies.

Here's the Before shot:
And the After.

Some naughty person had replaced the "white stuff" in his second Oreo with toothpaste! Yuck! I just love his eyebrows! They are the most expressive part of him. Boo had a similar experience with her lunch, which she thought was perfectly safe since it was a prepackaged Lunchable that hadn't been tampered with...that she could tell.

Boo brought a friend home from school. Before I agreed to the play date, I asked the friend's aunt if it would be alright if I played pranks on him along with my kids. I am pleased to say that she whole-heartedly agreed.

It's not unusual for me to provide a really fun treat or new snack when the kids have a friend over. In fact, they've come to expect it. So when I brought out these awesome, giant SweetTarts, their eyes shone with joy...until they tasted them. Not SweetTarts...fizzing bath beads.

We were going to teach Boo's friend a new game but we ran out of time. It's a game my parents used to teach all the new missionaries that came over for dinner, one involving a piece of paper with a bullseye drawn on it, a quarter, someone's nose to roll it down, and a really soft-leaded pencil with which to trace the quarter where it fell. Those are some great memories.

I confess...

I get my mean streak through genetics.


Kristina P. said...

You are hilarious! I am all about torturing children. I'm sure that comes as no surprise.

Amanda said...


Love boo's hair in the below post!

Emma said...

Wow the food you gave them is torture. We pranked my dad one time on April fools with a fake hot dog, he got so mad.

JamieMoore said...

I have to say those pranks sound priceless!! I can't wait for my little one to grow up so I can pester her like my mom did to me! And yes it is defiantly genetics or some type of family initiation HAHAHA :) Have a great weekend!

Angel said...

wait what happened with Boo's lunch?? How did you tamper with a lunchable?? I am dying to know!

Jessica G. said...

Angel - I swapped the Oreo with a tampered one, like her brother's. It was easy enough to pull up the film on that corner, make the switch, then tack it back down with a few sticky dots.

Mary said...

Can't wait til I live close enough for you to babysit ;o)

elesa said...

Oh my gosh, that cracks me up, especially the toothpaste cookie face. I can't stop laughing about it.

Sami said...

This completely cracked me up! I never would have thought to replace the white stuff in an Oreo with TOOTHPASTE! Priceless!!!

Melissa Bastow said...

Man, my parenting is seriously lacking - I didn't do anything to my kids for April Fools day.

Blog Archive