"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." - Ronald Reagan

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Igniting the Volcano

So you may have noticed that there's been a drop in posts around here lately. Or maybe you haven't noticed and I should just get over myself already.

...it's been hard for me to find anything interesting to write about. Sure, stuff's been going on and such. Even have some pictures but I just couldn't think of what to say that you might consider reading.

See, I've been taking what I call "Happy Pills." They help with my post-pardum freak-outs, keep my chronic shoulder pain at a low level and just generally make going through each day tolerable. But it was just tolerable. It wasn't wonderful. In fact, there are some not-so-great side effects that come with these pills. When I was taking them after having the Boy, the side effects were at a minimum and seemed worth it. This time around, the effects are worse. MUCH worse. And really, you don't want to know the details...at least my parents don't want to know and they read my blog. (Okay, well, some of you might want to know the details...you can email me...)

For one thing, I wasn't having any dreams. Normally, I have incredibly vivid dreams and get amazing ideas from them. But not lately. Also, my imagination was pretty much dead. The other day, I couldn't think of any good comebacks for something the Man said that left himself completely wide open. I had nothing. That is so not like me. And? I wasn't writing anything. I write constantly.

So I stopped taking the pills. I slowly weened myself off them and now I'm back to taking only vitamins and the occasional Tylenol. And I couldn't be happier. Sure, anytime I hear someone whispering, I think they're talking about me. And sure, I still think that every knock at the door is a potential serial killer, but I feel more like myself.

I'm having dreams again. And they are beautiful.

I am writing. And that makes me happy.


Kristina P. said...

I'm glad you know yourself, Jessia, and are able to do what works for you!

And for the record, there seems to be a major blog funk going around the Internet!

Michelle said...

glad you are having dreams again--and dreaming :)

hang in there!

Jan the crazy lady said...

I am with the funk too. I get that. You rock. Plain and simple.

Jo said...

It is hard to find a good balance. Hopefully you are finding yours.

Amanda said...

I am happy you are back!

Ms Cupcake said...

Happy Friday! Dropping by from sits. Have a great weekend.

Ms Cupcake
Zen Cupcake

Ms Cupcake said...

Following your blog!

Bonnie the Boss said...

I am so glad you are doing better! Hang in there!

Kristie said...

Glad to know that you are feeling better! I hope that the good streak continues! And thanks for the tip on backing everything up...I know that it is just a matter of time! :)

Emma said...

I am so sorry the Happy pills made you numb. That happened to my sister, and lasted for years. I am glad you are doing better off of them.

ramsam said...

Good job on realizing you missed the real you. I took meds one summer after my 3rd baby, and I had some ummm....private side affects as well, that just can't help in the depression/marital bliss area. No more for me! I hope you find many ways to stay happy without them ;-)

I do take St John's Wort during the winter, bluesy months, and it really does the trick for me now!

Mama Nut said...

Hi, I found you on MMB -- who could resist peeking in on a blog called "Duck Duck Cow"?? Not me!

Anyway, I really like your blog! And I totally understand what you mean when you feel like you are in a writing funk. I go there all the time!!

Good Luck and hope you get some great ideas!

Jillybean said...

Glad you're feeling better!

Either I have time to write but I can't think of anything to write,
I have a ton of things to write about and no time.
I'm in that mode right now. By the time things slow down I will have forgotten about everything I was going to write about.

SO said...

Oh I'm glad that you are feeling better and dreaming again.

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