Homeowner's Policy

Shortly after we moved into our house, the local waste disposable company invested in a new truck. This one has a big ol' claw that grabs the cans and dumps them. The driver doesn't need to leave the vehicle.

However, this was a new process and the worker assigned to our route was still working out some of the bugs.

His first time picking up our trash can, he crushed it.




The can wasn't a total loss. The back was cracked in several places but it still held together. For a while. The sections of plastic started breaking off. It took a couple years, but eventually the entire back of the trash can was missing. When the stray cats started feasting on our garbage, it was time to take things seriously.

This isn't just your typical patch job. Oh no. Nothing but the best for our trash can. Three layers of card board wrapped the back. Then a whole lotta duck tape. Seriously. See that? That can wasn't losing any more trash. Not on my watch. Surely this fix was going to last forever! Or at least until we moved out of the house.


One month later...

Duck tape just isn't what it used to be.

Teaser Tuesday: The Art of Zombie Warfare

Teaser Tuesday is a weekly bookish meme hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

• Grab your current read.
• Open to a random page.
• Share two (2) "teaser" sentences from somewhere on that page.
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (Make sure that what you share doesn't give away too much. You don't want to ruin the book for others!)
• Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teaser!

For years now, I've kinda had a thing for zombies. I read the books, watch the movies, and record the tv shows. The Boy even got a How To Speak Zombie book for Christmas, complete with push-button examples. So when I saw The Art of Zombie Warfare on the discount rack, I picked it up. It's the kind of book that I'll read once, chuckle plenty, and then pass on to some other fan of the walking undead.


Here's the teaser:

"Slow-moving zombies don't think about how much faster the battle would go if they could sprint up to their enemies and start eating them right away. They realize that a battle is like an exquisite ten-course banquet -- something to be drawn out and savored for as long as possible."

- pg 199, "The Art of Zombie Warfare" by Scott Kenemore

What are you reading?

Resurrection Cookies

Just helping you get ready to celebrate Easter!

Resurrection Cookies

Before you begin, gather together the following:

• 1 cup pecan halves (not pieces)
• 1 tsp apple cider vinegar (but keep the bottle handy)
• 3 eggs whites
• salt
• 1 cup sugar
• Plastic baggie
• Rolling pin or meat tenderizer
• Mixing bowl
• Mixer
• Tape (I use masking tape because it's easiest to remove)
• Scriptures

You will also need to preheat the oven to 300 degrees and prepare a cookie sheet by lining it with waxed or parchment paper.

Pull the kids in close and open your scriptures.

• Place the nuts in the plastic baggie, making sure to seal it tight. Either read or have the kids read John 19:1-3. Using the rolling pin or meat tenderizer, have them hit the nuts to break them into pieces to illustrate how Jesus was beaten by the soldiers. Set the nuts aside.
• Let the kids smell the vinegar in the bottle. Does that smell like it would taste good? As you pour one teaspoon into a large mixing bowl, have someone read John 19:28-29. When Jesus was thirsty, the soldiers gave him vinegar instead of water to drink.
• Eggs represent life. Add the egg whites as someone reads John 10:10-11. Jesus gave his life for us on the cross. Crucifixion might need to be explained in terms your kids can understand
• Give each person a sprinkle of salt in their hand and let them taste it. Shake a little into the bowl. Read Luke 23:27. This salt represents the salty tears of Jesus' friends and followers and also the tears we cry over our own sins. Explain that a lament is a great sadness and crying.
• Take a look at the ingredients in the bowl (vinegar, eggs, salt). It's not a very tasty combination, is it? Now let everyone have a taste of the sugar. ReadJohn 3:16 and Psalm 34:8. Pour the cup of sugar into the bowl. There's a lot more sugar/love in there than any bitterness. Explain that this very sad thing happened because of love for us, from Heavenly Father and Christ.
• Using the mixer, start beating on high speed. Point out that the mixture is white, the color of purity. Read Isaiah 1:18. Because of Jesus' sacrifice, we are able to be cleansed of our sins. (This is the part where things can get derailed...it takes about 15 minutes to beat the egg whites to stiff peaks and your kids are going to get bored. Talk about Jesus but once their attention is gone, send them to go get ready for bed or have a coloring page for them while you work.)
• Once you've got the stiff peaks, fold in the nuts. Scoop up some and drop it on the prepared pan. Read Matthew 27:57-60. These mounds represent the rocky tomb where Christ's body was laid to rest.
• Place the cookies in the oven. Turn the oven off. Read Matthew 27:65-66. Let every have a piece of tape to help seal the tomb. Christ's tomb was sealed and guards were set outside it.
• But where are the cookies? You might get some sad faces; after all, there was talk of treats. Read John 16:20, 22. Christ's followers despaired when he died on the cross but he had told them there would be reason to be joyful soon enough. You might need to have a back-up treat handy...I usually just let my kids lick the beaters. Be sure to close with a prayer if this is your FHE.
• This is the end for tonight! The cookies remain in the sealed oven overnight.
• The next morning, gather everyone at the "sealed tomb." Show them that the tape is still in place. Remove it and them pull out the cookie sheet. Have the cookies changed? Give one to each child and then read Matthew 28:1-9 as they eat the cookies. Just like the rocky tomb, the cookies are hollow and empty. His disciples were just as amazed to find that the tomb was empty. Jesus was no longer there because he had been resurrected.

* This is pretty much a re-post. This time of year, I get a lot of requests for this recipe!

Wordless Wednesday: Separation Anxiety

Mothering Moments: Avoiding Night Terrors

If you, as the mother, have an overactive imagination, then chances are, your darling daughter has inherited that same trait. And along with it, your love for books, particularly those that involve the supernatural. So your current research project on local ghost stories will not go unnoticed. As you are reading through a website that details several of these local alleged hauntings in places where your daughter has visited before, you might not object when she snuggles up and reads with you. However, as soon as her father mentions bedtime approaching, you might suddenly remember that your darling daughter is a lot like you, and therefore frequently has nightmares inspired by the scary stuff in books, or things from school…or websites about ghosts. Now you're starting to feel foolish, like that time when you were a teenager babysitting a five-year-old and you let her watch "The Howling" with you. That didn't have a positive outcome.

So you open a new tab and do a quick search for "cute hamster pictures." After giggling over a few sites, you even click over to LOL cats and snort chuckle over more silly animals. Then she happily skips off to bed.

The next morning, when she tells you about the weird dream she had where ghost hamsters kept trying to climb the ladder into her bed, then you have only yourself to blame.