"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." - Ronald Reagan

Friday, May 28, 2010

Join the Club

I am currently at a blogging conference. And I'm blogging. Because I am nothing if not a joiner.
In fact, I'm sharing a room with three other bloggers...who are also all blogging (or on Twitter).

But here's the thing...earlier this evening, I was sitting with a group of bloggers who were chatting away (because that's what we like to do when you can tear us away from the keyboard). Several of my bloggy heros are there, too. And I'm not talking. (Those of you that know me are gasping because you probably can't remember a time when I wasn't talking.)

I'm not really a shy person. I like to talk to people, get to know them, hear their stories (so I can incorporate them into one of my novels at a later time) and become life-long friends. Or at least for as long as we're sitting next to each other. Whatever.

So why wasn't I making with the chit-chat? I think I was intimidated. Here were women who consistently post witty and intelligent things, have followers who are equally as brilliant with their comments, and were selected as speakers for this conference. AND? They had business cards with their blog addresses! I didn't even have a name tag. My readership has taken a nosedive. And I haven't posted regularly in months.

I had nothing to talk about.

What do you do in a social setting when you're feeling awkward and unworthy? (Please? I need the tips, here!)


Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Oh girl, I've been wondering where you were! But I don't know what you look like and I can't always see people's name tags. So if you see me, please please please come say hi.

And don't you DARE feel unworthy!!!

But I do know what you mean, I feel that way sometimes too.

The trick for me is to get up the courage to actually talk to them. Then you'll realize that they are just a regular person who feels so special you know who they are and came over to say hi.


Find me tomorrow.!

MommyJ said...

Jessica... first of all, dorkitude is the coolest word ever. And seriously. Were we sitting in the same group of women tonight? My sister just said to me... "I LOVED Jessica! She was so hilarious!" And you were. You have nothing to feel intimidated about. You're awesome. End of story.

But. Sometimes I feel terribly socially awkward. Mostly because I CAN'T shut up. I leave thinking, "Gah! I talk SO much! Please, please shut up sometimes!" Whenever I start to feel this way, I make an effort to go up and ask people questions... ask them to talk to me, about them. People like to talk about themselves... we all do. It makes us feel important. So if I can create an opportunity for someone else to get to share a little about themselves, it's a win/win. Someone else feels good, and I learn something great about someone who is, well, really great.

Inkmom would comment, but I'm hogging my computer. Which is totally an unfair statement because it's MY computer. But that's irrelevant. She wants me to tell you that she seconds everything that I have just said.

And. TO make this comment REALLY long... I think it's hilarious that we are all at a blogging conference TOGETHER and we are still blogging and leaving comments. Suddenly I feel no better than my young women... who sit and text each other. While in the same room.

Mary said...

I am normally a very friendly and talkative person, but I would probably be experiencing the same thing if I was there. When I get really uncomfortable and intimidated I usually go balls to the wall and let it all hang out, b/c what is really the worst thing that could happen? Someone might not like you...oh well, I'm certain there would be at least one person that can identify with you! You might never run into these ladies again, so go for it!! :o)

The Boob Nazi said...

I either shut up or say something mean, so I'm not the one to ask.

Also, I'm supposed to be there today, but I got a MASSIVE migraine and can't get out of bed. Seriously one of the worst I've ever had. It makes my eye hurt. ajdcka sdjkvd

Wonder Woman said...

I wish we would've been able to talk more last night. I tried to talk to everyone and feel like I ended up talking to no one. :o(

I also had no name tag and no business cards. And kept quiet a lot.

So basically, I have no advice. :o)

nikki said...

I always feel socially awkward, It really taxes me to go to anything where I will have to be social. Maybe that is a new thing since I live in the middle of nowhere? Anyway - I have found that I feel really uneasy going into anything social, but when I finally get there, I figure, I have nothing to loose so just talk. I have fun. So maybe my advise would be to identify what part of the whole thing makes you feel awkward and unworthy and then just do it anyways.
I know you have always been able to fit in where I have seen you! Just don't doubt yourself.

Mary~Momathon said...

I would love to be there! Hope you are having a great time. I know what you mean about readership, my comments have dropped off to nothing. I'm all excited if I get ONE comment these days.

Enjoy the conference, and... Be Loud. Be Heard. Be Memorable!

Annette Lyon said...

You totally crack me up, Jessica. Dorkitude? Hardly!

I'm glad you sat around to chat with our little group in the lobby.

Emma said...

I love every thing you write. You are number 1 in my opinion. I tend to get very shy in settings like that. Just enjoy yourself!

annie valentine said...

We were supposed to have business cards? Whoops. I guess you and I will have to make friends the old fashioned way: cold hard cash.

Anonymous said...

This is also why we're destined to be friends--I wanted to spend the entire first night hiding in the bathroom. Or possibly drinking. Either way, doing anything but feeling socially awkward. Which really means I'm not at all qualified to give advice on this topic, so why am I even commenting?

Also? I'm pretty sure we were all doing random stuff on Facebook, not blogging. Or tweeting. Or anything else vaguely related to blogging. Unless I missed something, which is very possible.

The comment you left on my blog made me giggle like a crazy person. I am, of course, an actual crazy person, but I don't usually giggle.

Finally...I totally should've slept with you.

That is all.

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Hey girl, I'm so glad you came up to me to say hi, even if it was just for a second.
You were so cute and stylish, walking around with friends on each arm I thought, how could this girl not feel cool? I would be the one feeling nervous in her presense. Because cute, stylish people always intimidate me.

TIGHTWAD said...

Hi DDC - I think everyone is uncomfortable in social settings... I personally would way rather stay home in my comfort zone!

Just SO said...

Holy smokes. I was right there with you on feeling awkward. Even if I wasn't actually there in the group. Unfortunately I couldn't blog because I didn't have my computer. I'm blogging about my CBC experience now.

I wish I had some sage words of advice but I'm going back to read your comments and see if anyone has said anything that can help me out!

Lady of Perpetual Chaos said...

Honestly, I felt the same way. The only regret I have from the conference is not getting out of my comfort zone to meet more people. Oh, and not having my picture taken with Sophie Uliano.

I thought you were just lovely any time I saw you. It's been interesting to hear how many people have said that they felt socially awkward or inadequate in blogging. Of course, I was both, but I thought it was just me. So, after a long and random tangent, maybe that's my point...we all felt like that so you were in good company.

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