How I Made My First Million…Almost

At the beginning of summer, just before school let out, I had a moment of genius. These moments are rare so I tend to brag about them. While having the kids home had some perks (like fetching me a drink or the tv remote), I wasn't looking forward to weeks of whining, complaining, and declarations of deadly boredom. Usually, I'd just ignore them until I ran out of chocolate patience. Then the yelling stern reprimands would suck all the fun out of vacation. For all of us.

There had to be a better way.

Then I got an idea. It was so simple that I was surprised someone hadn't already created these and had them mass produced in China.

Behold, the Busted Jar.

An old mason jar with a slot in the lid, an overuse of colored fonts on my computer, some tape, and voila! The kids were totally busted. And I was gonna get rich one nickel at a time.

The week the Busted Jar was implemented, I gave each child a dollar's worth of nickels as part of their allowance. I explained the purpose, went over the "banned phrases," and reiterated that fines would be due immediately. And should we not be at home, I kept a tab for them, due as soon as our car pulled into the garage.  But we had plans for summer, they insisted, and season passes to the water park. Surely they wouldn't owe me a cent, because they would be having too much fun!

Ah, the follies of youth.

Here's a few of the "banned" phrases:
I'm bored.
What can I do?
That's/It's not fair!
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease?
This is boring!
There's nothing to do.
Awwwwwwww (in a super whiny voice).
Aldo banned? Saying "no" or asking "why?" in response to a request.

Did you get a good look at the pictures? Did you notice that along with the nickels, there are dimes, quarters, and even a dollar? That was after two weeks. TWO. WEEKS. This was gonna be awesome.

Then something strange happened. They stopped whining! By the end of the first month, the two older kids were no longer getting busted. Baby still had issues but hey, she's three. I must say, we all had a much better summer vacation. With a lot less whining and yelling.

Now that school is back in session, I've kept the Busted Jar on the counter.

Just as a reminder.

Teaser Tuesday: Supernaturally

Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:
• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share a few “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
• Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!

Hello, my name is Jessica G. and I am a YA Paranormal Romance addict.

And I say that with pride. While checking over my shoulder to make sure there are no zombies sneaking up. Or vampires at the local high school. Or ghosts lurking in my daughters' room. Or monsters under my bed.

The latest in my pile of books is Kiersten White's trilogy, starting with Paranormalcy. I'm nearly done with the second book, Supernaturally, and I have this advice for all future heroines in this genre: do not lie to your boyfriend. Not even if you think you are protecting him. Because you're always going to get caught red-handed, probably at the worst possible moment. Authors are mean like that.

Here's the Teaser:

"Fairies didn't have wings and bordered on evil; pixies were dirty, feral, and tended to bite; and mermaids had neither glorious hair nor seashell bras. Now this about unicorns. Sometimes reality sucked."

- pg. 127, Supernaturally (Paranormalcy #2) by Kiersten White.

What are you reading?

Teaser Tuesday: The Dead-Tossed Waves

Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:
• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share a few “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
• Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!

Have you been reading my blog long? Has it become obvious that I'm semi-obsessed with zombies? An undying devotion to the undead? Gawking at the walking dead? No? 

Well, it should come as no surprise that I'm reading a zombie book. The Dead-Tossed Waves is the second in a series by Carrie Ryan. The first book, The Forest of Hands and Teeth, gave me nightmares. It also inspired me to recommit to getting my concealed carry permit. Nothing like teenage love drama amidst the Unconsecrated. 

Since I just started this book, the Teaser from the first few pages:

"I want to tell him that I've never crossed the Barrier before. I've never wanted to--I still don't. I've only stood at the top of the lIghthouse where I live, and even then I feel overwhelmed staring out at the ocean and the Forest and the breadth of the world around us."

-pg. 5, The Dead-Tossed Waves by Carrie Ryan

As an added bonus, I'm including the book trailer. Because it's awesome.

What are you reading?

Or…

What's your favorite zombie-related item?

Teaser Tuesday: These Is My Words

Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:• Grab your current read• Open to a random page• Share a few “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)• Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!


A couple years ago, the book group I was in picked These Is My Words to read. I didn't even read the first page and skipped the meeting where it was discussed. Why? Because I'd heard about this book. I heard about the struggles and tragedy that followed this woman as she looked for a place to call home in the wild Arizona territories. Frankly, I couldn't handle it. Then my new book group put These Is My Words on their reading list. I thought I could handle it this time around. I thought wrong. I made it to page 48 and just couldn't go any further. Too much pain and sorrow and tragedy with no reward. Too many children dying. 

If you have read These Is My Words then tell me, should I even try to finish it? Or is it the same as A Thousand Splendid Suns? And don't just gush about how wonderful the book is to you, tell me why it's wonderful.

Here's the Teaser:

"It seems as if no one is spared a share of the torment, and some will have more than their due. Lord if you see this pitiful band of travelers, please lend a hand and see us through with no more dying. I've had enough to last me all my days."

- pg. 42, These Is My Words: the Diary of Sarah Agnes Prine 1881-1901 by Nancy E.Turner

What are you reading? 

Bad Bionics

As most of you know, I recently had a pretty serious surgery to replace my shoulder. Sounds weird, right? I mean, really, who gets their shoulder "replaced" like that? Well, if you're bionic, you kinda expect a systems failure at some point. And boy, did it fail!

I should probably tell you that I was a third less humorous than the average person. I had false humor. It's my dorky way of saying a third of my bone, known as the humerus, was replaced with a metal doppelganger. 'Cuz the original was eaten by a really hungry tumor. This new part was held in socket by re-routing a couple muscles. Unfortunately, these muscles were not properly informed of their new role and didn't do a very good job at it. This implant lasted eight years. And by the end of that time, my shoulder looked like this:

My scar is totally sexy, I know, but please try to stay focused.

See how the silhouette is kinda wiggly? That's because a muscle decided it didn't like it's new position working with the metal implant, detached itself, and spent a couple years living off unemployment checks and playing video games in it's mother's basement. Because there was no longer a muscle to keep it in place, the metal head of the implant slowly worked itself out of socket.

Have you ever had a shoulder dislocated? Hurts, right? Well, imagine having a perpetually dislocated shoulder. Not fun. So I went to a specialist to see about fixing the constant holy-crap-I'm-gonna-swear-because-the-pain-is-so-bad-but-I-can't-because-I-have-small-kids feeling. But this guy said there was nothing they could do. Medical science needed to catch up. It went something like this:

Doc: Come back in five years and we'll see what we can do then.
Me: But how do I cope in the meantime? My arm doesn't work.
Doc: Just use your arm less.
Me: (Looking from the doctor to my then-toddler son, who, at that moment was trying with all his chubby-armed might to pull himself up into a chair) Seriously?

So I waited five years. And took lots of pain killers. But Then the constant agony got to the point where I couldn't function. Enough was enough and it was time to find a doctor who would help me, no matter where I had to go.


Stay tuned for more…you know…whenever I get to it...