Duck Duck Cow

Mothering Moments: The "Talk" Doesn't Need to Include Details

2012-02-18T14:21:00.000-07:00

Soooo…

Boo is at that age where having "the Talk" is necessary. It's never an easy task. In fact, I don't even have my own experience to draw upon because my parents never gave sat me down to explain the birds and the bees. Years later, I asked my mom about this. She said that it's a horribly embarrassing thing to talk about and she knew I'd get the information from my older siblings, friends, and the class they give you at school. True enough. Most of my enlightening happened one afternoon while talking with my friends on the way to the library in the third grade. And my mom was totally right about the embarrassing part. Although as a teenager, my mom and I had a great relationship and I could easily talk to her about anything so I wasn't naive or ignorant.

But back to the Boo. At her age, she asks a LOT of questions. I'm more of a bare basics kind of mom. If she wants more information later on, we can go over that but right now the emphasis is on our bodies being sacred creations given to us by God and our responsibility to care for and protect them. Other people must respect our bodies. And if they don't, tell a teacher or parent immediately. So we're got that covered.

Then there are the kids at school that tell her other things, things we haven't discussed and frankly don't really want to at this point. But because she not old enough to be embarrassed by asking about these little details, she just shoots away.

Boo: Hey, Mom?
Me: Yes? (I'm not quite tearing my eyes away from the book I'm reading).
Boo: Do you and Daddy touch tongues?
Me: Uh… (Eyes bugging out for a moment there as my book falls out of my hands.)
Boo: Do you?
Me: That sounds pretty gross, don't you think?
Boo: Yeah. (Nodding seriously) It totally does.

Crisis averted! No need elaborate on the different styles of kissing because she's convinced that the idea is utterly unappealing. We'll cross that bridge when having a boyfriend means something other than the kid who saves a seat for you on the bus.

Wordful Wednesday: Heart Dinner

2012-02-15T20:09:00.001-07:00

Hey, I'm not exactly known for my ability to keep things short or to the point.

For the annual Love Day celebration, I concocted yet another red heart meal. I think this one might just be my best so far!

The main course was stromboli (which I explained to my kids was just like a rolled up pizza). For the pickier eaters, I had a smaller cheese-only stromboli. And the very pickiest eater got a peanut butter and honey sandwich - heart-shaped also, thanks to a sandwich cutter.

For drinks, we had the usual: goblets of Sprite with frozen juice heart cubes. This year, I used two different ice cube trays that were slightly different. In one, I poured pink grapefruit juice (making a nice soft pink heart) and the other was filled with pomegranate juice. The pomegranate cubes didn't look red but instead a lightish brown color, which actually looked pretty cool with the pinker one. And it was tasty, too.

Instead of the usual molded jello hearts, I made mosaic jello. I love this stuff and may or may not have had some for breakfast this morning. The different flavors/colors of jello were watermelon (soft pink), strawberry (dark pink), and black cherry (dark red). This is sweet enough to be a dessert but since jello is a traditional Valentine side dish, I couldn't save it for last. Besides…I had big plans for dessert…

But before I reveal the dessert, I need to clean my plate. Green salad with heart-shaped strawberries, more strawberries for those who preferred them untainted by green stuff, hearted pears soaked in pear juice and grenadine, and a bowl of conversation hearts just to keep our blood sugar levels peaked.

Then came dessert.

Whilst ~~ignoring the heaping pile of dishes~~ diligently cleaning my house, my laptop magically opened and started searching the web for new and spectacular desserts. Completely by itself, the browser landed on a show-stopper of a dessert featured on Hungry Happenings.

These are actually mini cheesecakes although they totally look like chunks of luscious frosting. And since it goes against my nature to bake anything without adding almond flavoring, these are vanilla almond cheesecakes. Beth from Hungry Happenings gives excellent tips on getting these perfect without losing your mind in the process. Mine look ~~funny~~ different because I decided to use what I thought was an easier method to add the wording. It wasn't.

Hope you had a loving Valentine's Day!

And if you haven't already, go enter my giveaway for the MyMemories digital scrapbooking software!

Let The Memory Live Again

2012-02-13T12:27:00.000-07:00

I am not a scrapbooker. For years, I tried to be. I went to all the parties, bought the paper, stamps, and whatnot, spending money on supplies that I sometimes never opened. However, I have created probably four pages. And? I paid a professional scrapbooker to make pages for my first child. (They were worth every penny.) Here, I am, living in the land of preserving your family heritage, with nothing to mark the passing years, out-growing of shoes, and copping of attitudes. What was wrong with me?

Simple: I was intimidated. Cutting paper was just so…final. And then I would horde those adorable stickers or ribbons for "something special," only to end up never using them. I lost count of how many pictures I ruined because I trimmed too much or it was crooked, and once the picture was wrong, the whole page would be, too. Hence, never finishing.

But all that has changed. I downloaded MyMemories Suite.

See that? I made that! Didn't even need to cut out a single thing! Woot! (And no glue sticking my fingers together, but that's another story.) And while I think it's already better than anything I put together previously, it's still kinda boring. So back I go to a spiffy digital scrapbooking software to turn up the awesomeness.

Okay. I added a few embellishments, captions, and a title. All of this is customized to fit what I want. Even the color and angle of the text. Now, I'm thinking I might have too much on here. But no worries. Just click and change it. Hey, if I can do this, you know you can.

And it's not just scrapbook pages. I can use layouts for calendars, post cards, or pretty much anything. Next year, I'll have no excuse not to get those Christmas cards out in the mail on time. There's a pretty good walkthrough on YouTube here.

And since tomorrow is Valentine's Day...

Just 'cuz he's my Valentine. And can't stop me from posting this.

Whether you're a scrapbooker with the magical ability to turn one photo, a sheet of paper, and whatever you can dig out of the bottom of your purse into a flawless layout or if you have problems not gluing yourself to the paper, this software is incredible. Would you like to get your own download completely for free? To celebrate all the great memories I've acquired since beginning this blog, I'm giving away MyMemories Suite to celebrate my blog's fifth anniversary! You lucky readers, you.

And? Just to show you how fabulous my readers are, if you decide to purchase the MyMemories Suite, they'll give you 10% off your purchase if you enter the code STMMMS46520 at checkout.

To enter, visit MyMemories.com and tell me what scrapbook kit gives you all kinds of inspiration. (See how many free kits there are? So great!)

For additional entries, leave a separate comment for to claim each of the following:

Become a DuckDuckCow follower (and if you already are, please let me know)
"Like" MyMemories on Facebook. (Tell 'em I sent you!)
Follow MyMemories on Twitter.
Post about this giveaway on Facebook and link back here.
Tweet about the giveaway with a link back to this post.
Post about the contest on your own blog and link back here.

This contest will close Monday, February 20th, at midnight.

Good luck!

* I received MyMemories Suite free of charge for evaluation and review purposes but all opinions, grammar errors, and overloaded pages are entirely mine.

Valentine's Pre-Game Planning

2012-02-10T08:13:00.002-07:00

I love Valentine's Day! Sure, it's a Hallmark-created holiday that obligates everyone to show their love/affection/tolerance of others in a materialistic and frequently gaudy manner…

Around here, we make it about the family, not just the married ones. The kids are completely involved and feeling downright smothered in love by the end of it. But the best part? Dinner.

Dinner on Valentine's Day takes days of planning, searching, and prepping. See, I get a little obsessive about having everything heart-shaped and in the appropriate color range. I try things a little differently each year ~~because I be crazy~~ just for fun but some items stay on the table, like my soaked pear halves and goblets with heart-shaped ice cubes. Also, if there isn't jell-o in some form, the kids tend to mutiny. However, I've given up on attempting to make carrot slices look like hearts instead of an orange Pac-Man and eating chicken hearts is a bit too literal for me.

2007 2008 2009 2010 2011

For six years, we've done this. The first year, I made a heart-shaped meatloaf (and I didn't have a blog then, so no pictures). While it was easy and tasty, it didn't look so great. Ever since then, we've gotten into a pizza rut, which I managed to change last year, but might pay homage to this year with a Stromboli. I'll have the pears, jell-o, and ice cubes, maybe even the salad with heart strawberries. But where I'm really stuck is dessert. I wanted to make a cake with a heart in the center but the pan is backordered and I don't think I can manage to do it myself. My second choice is to bring out the chocolate fountain again, but alas…it has gone missing. (And I'm offering amnesty for it's safe returned! Really, I'm not mad. I just want it back.)

Any suggestions for dessert?

Also? Valentine's Day was when I first started this blog! And since my blog will be turning five years old, I thought a giveaway was in order. So be sure to check back on Monday, Feb 13th. I'll post a review of a pretty snazzy piece of software along with the chance to win it for yourself.

Teaser Tuesday: The Graveyard Book

2012-02-07T14:05:00.000-07:00

"The night-gaunt crouched beside him, its leathery wings folded on its back. Bod had grown up in a graveyard and was used to images of winged people, but the angels on the headstones looked nothing like this."

-pg. 93, The Graveyard Book, by Neil Gaiman

What are you reading?

Only the Good Die Young and I'm Kinda In the Middle

2012-02-06T08:03:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot about death - funerals and burial, in particular. And let me just say this now:

I am not dying, nor do I expect to be dying for another fifty years or so.

Got it?

Okay, so no one freak out on me.

So…funerals. I kinda have mine already planned. Well, not so much that I'm going to be handing out outlines to those I want to speak at my funeral or anything. But there are some distinct requests. For instance, for years I've wanted a bagpiper to play "Amazing Grace." Now, I still want the bagpipes but the tune is changing. Sometimes I want "Nearer My God To Thee" and other times I want "I Am A Child of God." I'm not sure I'd want it to take place in a chapel. I want there to be lots of laughing (but so help me, if someone turns my funeral into a roast like that they turned my bridal shower into one, I will totally go all poltergeist on them) and talking. Maybe zumba, too, because that might very well be what kills me. And afterward, everyone should go out for pancakes. No re-heated ham and funeral potatoes! Break out the IBC Root Beer! And there had better be chocolate.

Then there's the problem of where I'd be buried. While I love Utah, I haven't lived here all that long and if the Man ever moved away, I wouldn't want to be left behind (and I may have threatened haunting or something if he does that). Then there's Texas…well, if you've been to Texas than you understand my hesitation. The idea of cremation still gives me the heebee-geebies, but then the Man could just take my jar with him wherever he goes. If he wore jewelry, I'd have my ashes made into a big ol' diamond. Maybe I should stipulate in my will that he has to get his ear pieced and wear me as a diamond stud.

And it's not just the where, it's the how. Cemeteries these days make all the headstones lay flat. I'm sure this is great for maintenance and mowing but for those that get buried underneath that dead grass? Not so great. I don't mind mausoleums. They're above ground and usually very pretty. Of course, having my own cement or stone tomb, complete with black wrought iron fencing and lichen-covered angel statues, would be pretty sweet. I could totally see myself haunting that, you know…if heaven gets boring.

And if you show up to my funeral and there are no bagpipes, then I expect you to go find you some and puff away on 'em. And tell the Man that his new earring looks good, would ya?

When The Bees Sting...

2012-02-04T22:43:00.002-07:00

You know how I'm addicted to these things! Besides this one is all about *my* favorite stuff. And I like anything that is about me, right?

So I've got my favorite gum, pen, magazine, chocolate-covered something, jewelry…probably some nail polish. But I'm looking for some new ideas. I'd include Baby ('cuz she's my favorite…don't tell the other two) but I think there are laws against that sort of thing. Also, I've started including a CD with my current favorite songs, which is fun, unless someone doesn't like the same kind of music. Maybe a favorite book? I read lots of different things so that might be doable, depending on how dork-tolerant my partner is…Any suggestions?

What are some of your favorite things?

Teaser Tuesday: Matched

2012-02-01T14:39:00.000-07:00

Hey! Did you notice that yesterday was Tuesday? Yeah, I didn't, which explains a LOT about my day, actually.

Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:
• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share a few “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
• Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!

I have an extensive To Be Read pile. It's completely taken over an entire shelf. And I just keep adding to it! It's like I've turned into a book hoarder. Maybe someone should stage an intervention. "Please, Jessica G. Let those books go. Other people would love to read them just as much as you would." "Think of the children." "Love they neighbor means sharing your books, too, ya know." "Think of the children!" "As much as you might wish, hope, and pray for it, those books just don't have your name on them." "You can't write a book if all you do is read those written by other people." "Please! Won't someone think of the children??"

Have I mentioned that I haven't had much adult conversation lately? Maybe I should get out more often.

My teaser for this week is from Matched, one of those books that's already made the rounds with other fans of YA dystopian readers and has been collecting dust on my beloved shelf. After the miserable weekend I had, I was in need of something happy. Not that this book is happy; it's kinda sad since her grandfather died. And that's totally not a spoiler. She talks about it pretty early in the book. Cassia is a teenager in a utopian Society, where all things are equal and citizens are cared for in every way. Citizens are matched at 17, married at 21, and die exactly on their 80th birthdays. Everything is perfect, until Cassia does the unthinkable: she starts to wonder.

Here's the Teaser:

"I say nothing. I ask no questions. I turn away. This is who I am. But not who Grandfather thought you could be."

- pg. 91, Matched Ally Condie

What are you reading?

And if you've already read this book, go ahead and link to your Teaser or Review!

Can't Decide If This Is A Bad Thing..

2012-01-28T12:55:00.000-07:00

My refrigerator broke.

I'm not sure what's wrong but the ice melted and it's not exactly cold inside anymore. Really, I can't complain too loudly because this is the first problem we've had with a major appliance since we moved in here eight years ago.

This happened on a Friday afternoon. I thought the freezer was the only thing affected (because of the huge puddle of melted ice collecting in front of the doors) so I started moving everything out and into the deep freeze. The popsicles were a loss but I managed to save the ice cream! Then I noticed that the level of chill in the other portion wasn't giving me goosebumps when I reached for my hidden stash of chocolate behind the unidentifiable leftovers. By the time I admitted defeat and called a repairman, it was too late to save my weekend. Have to wait until Monday.

Oh darn…gotta eat out all weekend. Donuts for breakfast until it gets fixed!

Unfortunately, I had just gone to the grocery store so the fridge is pretty full right now. I took out the stuff we use a lot (like milk and chocolate pudding) and put them in a big cooler packed with ice. Then I filled a couple pitchers with more ice and put those in the fridge, just trying to keep the rest of the stuff edible until the thing is repaired. As a security measure, I wrapped masking tape around the door handles. Sure, the kids could probably still get into the fridge if they were really determined.

Any other suggestions on how to help keep more of the food inside?

Teaser Tuesday: Life of Pi

2012-01-24T09:30:00.000-07:00

"Another man was nabbed in the process of stealing a cobra. He was a snake charmer whose own snake had died. Both were saved: the cobra from a life of servitude and bad music, and the man from a possible death bite."

- pg. 30, Life of Pi by Yann Martel

What are you reading?

Animated Animosity

2012-01-23T07:18:00.004-07:00

The other morning Baby had a funny look on her face. When I asked her what was wrong, she replied by throwing up. So she spent the day on the couch with her favorite blanket, watching cartoons, which means I was right there with her. Here are a few observations:

There are far too many kids' shows featuring pigs. What is it with pigs? They look weird, are smelly, aren't at all cuddly, and it's just odd to have them walking on two legs, with their knees all backwards and such. I think the cartoon executives ought to learn from the Germans and feature a loaf of bread instead.
The opinion I formed of Dora the Explorer years ago still holds with child #3.
While watching said "unsupervised child," my daughter was completely focused on helping Dora reach her destination. Toward the end of the show when it came time to climb a ladder, Baby was asked to put her hands out in front of her and help Dora climb. Baby didn't miss a beat and replied in a very stern voice "You're a big girl now, Dora. and big girls need to try all by yourself before I help you." Gee, maybe I've been saying that a lot lately or something.
Why is it that some cartoon characters can spend the entire show running around buck nekkid, but when it's time to go swimming, they put on swimming suits? Really, what's the point by then?
When I mention that I don't like Max & Ruby, other parents usually concur, stating how Ruby is just soooo bossy. But it's not Ruby; it's Max. Ruby isn't exactly mean about her instructions. Heck, their parents are nowhere to be seen (probably eaten by a wolf) so she's just doing the best she can. And Max constantly disobeys. And when he disobeys? It ends up being the right thing to do! Anyone with an annoyingly perfect little brother knows what I mean.
I have to remember that these shows are geared toward the preschool age-range, so I won't over-think the plots. For instance, if the three clues in Steve's handy dandy notebook are a mat, a twirling thingy, and a leotard, then don't assume that Blue wants to be Olympic gymnast. That stream of thinking is way too high level for a show that features salt and paper shakers that gave birth to paprika.

After an afternoon as a captive audience, I have to say that cartoons might have actually raised my IQ. Hey, I learned how to say "jump" in Spanish, the life stages of a caterpillar and the effects on bug friendships, and how easily a koala bear's feelings can get hurt by ants. Much more productive than cleaning a house that gets torn up every afternoon anyway.

Product Review: Kangaroo Bottle

2012-01-19T08:15:00.001-07:00

A little while back, cgets.com* asked me if I'd like to try a couple of their products. I'm not going to turn down free stuff! They didn't want some big advertising post or anything in return. But if I felt so inclined, then perhaps I would link to them in my sidebar. Here's one of the items they sent me:

Kangaroo Water Bottle with Storage

Pretty spiffy, eh? Nearly my entire Zumba class has oogled** mine at one point, wanting to know where I got such a cool bottle. (Never mind that I've usually passed out from overexertion and must be revived before they can ask…)

The bottle itself is nifty. With 24 ounces, it holds more than the bottle I used previously and the water stays nice and cool, which is great when I'm completely over-heating. Also, there's a flip-top lid over the spout when you're not using it. When it's up, though, the bottle won't spill if it gets tipped over. Considering how weak my reflexes are after a considerable amount of shaking my groove thing, that's a great feature. Instead of attempting a screw-cap lid, all I do is squeeze a large button and the life-giving water flows freely. The lid also sports a clasp, so I can clip it to my gym bag, if needed. I tried clipping it to Baby's belt loop (at her request, I promise) but the bottle was longer than her legs so it didn't exactly improve our trip into the gym.

But the really awesome feature about this bottle is the storage built in. Open the little compartment and I've got enough room for my gym membership card, the prepaid gym daycare punchcard, and my key fob so I'm not lugging in a huge wad of keys. It doesn't, however, fit my Blackberry. My previous phone fits just fine, so if you have a smaller phone then it might work for you. Instead, I just leave my phone in the car so I'm not interrupted while getting in touch with my inner Latin Dancer, which is a difficult process given the complications of my how much inners there are to me and my obvious Whiteness.

Right now, the bottles are on sale and a pretty good price. Also? Check out their ice cube tray collection. Some seriously cute ones there!

* I did receive the product free of charge but all opinions and reviews are mine. In fact, they'd probably rather I didn't link my review to them because, let's face it - I'm a big dork.

** No, I did not misspell ogled. When they check out my kangaroo bottle, the first thing they usually say is "Oooo!" so I thought it fitting to re-spell "ogled" to suit. Hence, "oogled."

Teaser Tuesday: The Princess Bride

2012-01-17T07:46:00.001-07:00

"There have been five great kisses since Saul and Delilah Korn's inadvertent discovery swept across Western civilization. (Before then couples hooked thumbs.) And the precise rating of kisses is a terribly difficult thing, often leading to great controversy, because although everyone agrees with the formula of affection times purity times intensity times duration, no one has ever been completely satisfied with how much weight each element should receive. But on any system, there are five the everyone agrees deserve full marks.

This one left them all in behind."

-pg 55, The Princess Bride by William Goldman

What are you reading?

Difference Between Boys and Girls: Science vs. Imagination

2012-01-12T08:12:00.001-07:00

Alternate Titles: "What Kid Isn't Fascinated By Mechanical Engineering?" or "Einstein Got Run Over By A Unicorn"

It's not just the kids that are different. Every now and then, me and the Man see things with entirely different perspectives. Sure, we see eye to eye most of the time. But every now and then, I swear, it's like we're from different planets. His rotates on an axial tilt of 25.19 degrees with a circular orbit. And mine is warmed by the breath of dragons.

Sometimes, an ordinary family drive turns into a blazing example of those differences. The kids spotted an enormous fluffy column of white steam emitted by a building just off to the side of the road.

Kids: What's that?
The Man: Inside that building are evaporators that use natural gas to produce over a 500 megawatts of electricity per day.
Kids: …
Me: It's a cloud maker.
Kids: Cool!

Nice try, Mr. Brainiac. Unicorns and fairy dust trump scientific facts any day. Well, at least until they stop believing in Santa Claus.

Teaser Tuesday: Burning Water

2012-01-10T12:37:00.000-07:00

Teaser Tuesday is a weekly bookish meme hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

Grab your current read.
Open to a random page.
Share a few "teaser" sentences from somewhere on that page.
BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (Make sure that what you share doesn't give away too much. You don't want to ruin the book for others!)
Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teaser!

Mercedes Lackey is the author of several books on my TBR pile. I thought she was mostly a Young Adult author. So when I found this one about an adult witch, I thought it worth a try, also. Had a really difficult time getting into it and felt like reading the back cover kinda ruined the book for me. Still, I'm a sucker for mythology and Aztecs don't get a lot of page time.

It's those scene-stealing Mayans that get all the attention.

Also? The Teaser I'm including is part of the main character's personal Creed, which I found myself almost completely identifying with…almost.

Here's the Teaser:

"Fifth commandment: there are only three things worth living for; love in all it's manifestations, freedom, and the chance to keep humanity going a little while longer. They're the same things worth dying for. And if you aren't willing to die for the things worth living for, you might as well turn in your membership in the human race."

- ummm…forgot to get the page number and now I can't find it,

Burning Water by Mercedes Lackey

What are you reading?

Whistle While You Work

2012-01-06T07:53:00.002-07:00

Admitting to my defects and faults is not an easy thing to do. Not because I embarrass easily but because I simply don't have many of them. In an effort to relate to those less awesome than myself, I will share one with you here.

I had a great childhood. Sure, there's enough interesting material to fill a therapist's notebook, but really? It was great! Lots of fond memories, inside jokes, and blackmail against my siblings. I never really thought about what was lacking or what opportunities I missed out on during those years. It wasn't until my young son, in his innocence, asked me for assistance and I discovered that I just could not help.

"Mom? Can you teach me how to whistle?"

No, I couldn't. Because I never learned how to whistle.

The sound of whistling was highly annoying to my mother. Therefore, it wasn't allowed in the house. I was far too busy running around outside, using hangers as make-believe bows shooting invisible arrows, to really notice that something was missing, that a core skill would be left vacant as I moved into my teen years. Of course, as a female, it wasn't necessary to master the ability to issue a recognizable "wolf whistle" on demand. So I was still ignorant.

It wasn't until I was an adult, placed in a leadership role where I was tasked with conducting large gatherings that I realized my skills in getting everyone's attention were lacking. I had to rely on others to supply that musically ear-splitting breath.

And still…I can't manage to whistle even the slightest tune. Every now and then, I get tones that don't sound like I'm slowly choking to death and I have to pretend like I'm not surprised. I can touch my tongue to my nose, roll it into a taco shape, unwrap a Starburst in my mouth, and I even used to be able to tie cherry stems into knots. But whistling? Nope. Can't do it.

It's a very good thing that my dog just needs to hear her name to come running back home. Or I don't live in New York and have to summon a taxi. Or that I don't need a ride from the legendary Shadowfax, Lord of the Horses*. Other than that, I will continue living my whistle-free life. I can only hope that my children don't suffer the same fate.

* - If you got that one, award yourself, 20 geek points!

Teaser Tuesday: My Big Fat Supernatural Honeymoon

2012-01-03T07:46:00.045-07:00

Teaser Tuesday is a weekly bookish meme hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

It would seem that I just can't stay away from the anthologies…here's another one! I read one earlier this summer called My Big Fat Supernatural Wedding compiled by the same editor. Liked it well enough so I put the next book, My Big Fat Supernatural Honeymoon, on my To Be Read pile. Looking for something fun to read, I picked it up this morning. Finished it just after the kids went to bed.

I liked this one better than Wedding. The stories were easier to get into and there weren't any that stood out as being exceptionally bad. Of course, I was mainly interested in the Jim Butcher story -- which revealed some rather interesting background information about a character from the Dresden Files that I've always wondered about -- and some of the other authors were familiar, too. And despite this being a collection of stories about honeymoons, there wasn't too much page space wasted on detailed accounts of the characters making sexytimes.

Here's the Teaser:

"Erm…" Raphael was obviously too disconcerted by the fact that he was being hugged by an Elizabethan ghost to rally much conversational lines. "Do I know you?"

- pg. 260, "Cat Got Your Tongue?" by Katie MacAllister, My Big Fat Supernatural Honeymoon, edited by P.N. Elrod

What are you reading?

My Baby Love

2011-12-28T08:11:00.001-07:00

The two kids had their turn, now we get to Baby.

Baby had a birthday. When we asked her what she wanted for her birthday, her only answer was "cake." While I'm all for giving her mounds and mounds of cake, I thought she ought to have something that won't rot her teeth. Then she saw a commercial for those Lalaloopsy dolls…and became mildly obsessed. Any time she got to write a letter to Santa or meet with him, she was begging for those things. I think they're weird but hey, my baby gets what she wants. And now that she has one, she even more addicted. She asked me to make an outfit for her just like her doll's. I can't really sew that well so that's not going to happen. I'm hoping the additional outfits that Santa brought will satiate her need for more, more, MORE!

Maybe she's more like me than she seems.

Oh Boy, Oh Boy!

2011-12-26T07:32:00.002-07:00

With only one boy child in the house, I am sometimes left confused as just what to do with him. He will join us for a tea party, but only of his Kung Zhu hamster can come, too. Usually, I throw some Legos at him while I fix the girls' hair. When I get the girls hair stuff or jewelry, I can't help but feel that I'm leaving him out, so I tend to give him the larger dessert or He didn't want to take a dance class but I still wanted him to be active, so I put in him soccer over the summer. Once soccer ended, I was stuck. Then, I found something else he would enjoy: Karate.

This is Boy, earning his white belt. After his first class, the instructor thought he was ready to move to a more advanced class, because he already seemed to know the stances and moves. She asked me where he took karate before. I just smiled like a proud momma and said this was his first lesson. There was no need explain that his skills most likely came from watching hours of Power Rangers.

The Spirit of Christ(mas)

2011-12-24T12:11:00.003-07:00

May your Christmas be filled with joy and happiness as we celebrate the arrival of our Savior here on earth.

Poor Man's Almond Roca

2011-12-23T10:43:00.000-07:00

I've been making candy all week. My mom's recipe for caramels. My dad's recipe for fudge. Then my friend Amanda posted about toffee bars. Mmmmm…toffee bars. My mom used to make almond roca that was to die for but I've never attempted it and didn't have her recipe. So I took a look at Amanda's recipe link, made some of my own changes, and came up with this:

Faux Roca
1 pkg graham crackers
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup brown sugar
2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 1/2 cups almonds, ground up in your food processor

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
Use aluminum foil to line a 9x13 pan, then spray with cooking spray.
Use graham crackers to line the pan as close to the edges as you can get. You might need to break the crackers into smaller or skinnier pieces.
Melt butter in a small saucepan over medium heat. Add in brown sugar and stir.
Turn up the heat to medium high and bring the sugar to a nice frothy boil while you keep stirring. This should take about 5 minutes.
Pour sugar mixture over crackers. Use a spatula to spread it out to cover all the crackers.
Place pan oven for five minutes or until the sugar mixture is bubbling. (Took mine about 7 minutes.)
Once it's out of the oven, evenly sprinkle the chocolate chips over the top and let them melt.
When melted, spread chocolate so it covers everything, making sure to keep it even.
Before the chocolate cools, sprinkle nuts over the top until all chocolate is covered. Press them down into the chocolate. You may have nuts leftover and that's fine.
Let cool completely.
Break into pieces and enjoy!

The crunch from the crackers mixed with the toffee makes for a very similar roca experience and doesn't require a candy thermometer. And you can't go wrong with something smothered in chocolate and nuts.

What are your favorite Christmas treats?

Boo-tiful

2011-12-21T07:25:00.000-07:00

My eldest, da Boo, is quite an interesting girl. When relatives ask what she likes, I say she has strange tastes but she's pretty easy to please. She wears sparkly shirts while hunting for bugs, invites Lego robot creations to her tea parties, and will read anything she gets her hands on (she even read my Twilight "graphic novel").

One thing she's asked Santa for this year is an amulet that will let her turn into an animal. In preparation for her new abilities, she's been practicing.

Here, she sports a tail. It's really the faux fur trim that unzips from her coat hood. But to her, it's an encounter with the wild and magical, as she anticipates roaming the hills as a wolf. Who else would have thought of that? Well, maybe me when I was her age. Sad to admit it but my dorkiness took root in my early years.

Even with all her quirks, she's still pretty wonderful. In fact, her quirks and wild imagination make me love her all the more! And really, how could I not?

When Gingerbread is Better Than Horoscopes

2011-12-17T00:35:00.002-07:00

I like traditions, especially holiday ones. Some times I get a little too focused on keeping them, that I kinda sorta turn into the Traditions Dictator. It's one of the things I'm working on.

Every year, we decorate a gingerbread house. Well, not exactly. Last year, we made a train, or rather, they fought over which sections of the train they got to smear with tasteless frosting and cheap candy. It fell apart before the kids could eat all the candy off it when they thought I wasn't looking.

This year, I found a gingerbread village, with five little houses. I wouldn't have to split my time between defending property lines and dividing the scant candy offerings. This might actually be a fun family moment instead of kids throwing tantrums and parents' heads exploding.

So we opened the bags of candy, kneaded the bags of prepared frosting, and sat down to build memories. Snowman even joined us. And I saw each of my children's personalities manifested in sugar and stale cookies.

On the far right, we have da Boo's creation. Choosing to not follow the suggestions on the box, she did her own thing, borrowing heavily from what I was doing. And just when she thought she might be finished, she dumped a whole lot more sprinkles on the roof.

The A-frame belonged to the Boy. He got right to work with the icing, barely letting his sisters get time with the bag. And his visions were grand! Big, big plans he had! Sure, he started out copying me but then decided he had better ideas. Alas, his schemes were more complicated than royal icing and gumdrops could provide. Tears were shed but in the end, he was satisfied with his work.

Then we get to Baby's house on the far left. The Man attempts to remain an observer but she takes over and gets him to do all the work for her, except when it comes to candy placement. And should she decide that mound of sprinkles doesn't quite work in that location, she moves it. To her mouth. In fact, the following morning, I have the nerve to take a shower, thus leaving my toddler unsupervised for fifteen minutes. And that was all the time she needed to finish off the candy she missed the night before, along with most of the frosting. By the time I got back downstairs, she was the one that needed a shower.

The last two houses belong to me and the Snowman. Can you guess which one is whose? The one on the left is called a "red roof inn" and not the type that normal people know as hotels. These red roofs are all over Philmont Scout Ranch. As a bathroom. If you look inside -- and I don't recommend that you do -- you can see the, uh…seats.

And then I got a little too into decorating my house. Maybe it's because I haven't been able to decorate very many cakes lately.

What is your favorite Christmas tradition?

(The one you'd gotten a bit fanatical about? Come on, people! Help me not feel like such a freak…)

When Saying Nothing Means "Yes"

2011-12-14T10:29:00.000-07:00

Victory is mine. Mine! All MINE!

How, you ask?

Because of the newest member of our family.

This is Matilda. She was our rent-to-own dog. And now? She's mine.

I've had a dog for nearly my entire life, along with a hamster, an assortment of birds, and even a lizard. The Man has never had a pet of any kind. Not even a goldfish. So the thought of having a dog is not a pleasant one for him. But I wanted one. The kids wanted one. Then one of my friends had to find a new home for her dog and it seemed the perfect opportunity.

We'd keep the dog for two weeks, long enough for the novelty to wear off and the real responsibility to set in. The kids and I would share the task of taking her outside for walks (we don't have a fenced backyard) a few times a day, always cleaning up after her. Since she's an indoor dog, she'd need a bath once a week. Her food dish and water bowl would need to be filled daily. It was a lot of duties. There was also the condition that if the dog wasn't what we could handle, she would be sent back, even we only had her a few days.

After the first week, when everything went well and the kids were completely enamored, I started pleading our case to the Man. Matilda is a mini Schnauzer and she doesn't shed. She's pretty good at letting us know if she needs to go outside. When we're not home, she stays in her kennel. At night, she goes to bed shortly after the kids and sleeps in the Boy's room (the Man rarely needs to interact with her). She doesn't chew on things. She doesn't drool or beg. All she asks is that we give her plenty of affection (and that whenever I sit down, she gets first dibs on my lap). Plus, all of her gear and supplies were free. She is a really good dog.

The Man said nothing. As Thanksgiving - and the end of the two weeks - approached, he started walking away whenever the topic of the dog came up. Since he wasn't saying no, I took that as a yes. Matilda now wears a new collar with a new tag, featuring my information as her owner. The kids are very good about taking care of her and she is constantly within a three-foot radius of me (except when the Man gets there first).

Sometimes, it's just better to ask forgiveness instead of permission.

Once There Was A Snowman...

2011-12-07T10:22:00.000-07:00

So, I should probably blog...or something…

We've had a few changes around the G. household, in that we've added two new members. (And no, I AM NOT PREGNANT! Stopping asking! Geesh…rude.) Shall we meet the first one?

This is the Snowman…

…with his adorable girlfriend (who shall be known as Snowgirl). In all fairness, he was fighting off bronchitis when he fell asleep during a movie. And snored. Really loud. So we just had to take a picture. And post it on Facebook.

The Snowman is my nephew. He moved out here to Utah to live with us while working and saving before he goes on his mission (not LDS? Go here.) next summer. So why do I call him the Snowman, other than his utter lack of skin pigment? Because he works at a local ski resort and will freeze his skinny bum off. (And just between you and me? Another reason he's here is so I can fatten him up because that boy has no body fat. Poor thing lacks an insulating layer.)

Per his mother's instructions, Snowman has one night a week when he makes dinner. It's rather nice…I might have to let more people move in just so I can give them a night to cook, too. Among his other talents are his ability to be so quiet we forget he's here, communicating with the outside world purely by text, speed-reading all my books, and giving Baby someone to blame whenever anything goes wrong.

Any words of advice for the Snowman?

Teaser Tuesday: Stardust

2011-11-29T13:09:00.001-07:00

Teaser Tuesday is a weekly bookish meme hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

I didn't even know that Stardust was a book before it was a movie! How pathetic is that? Also, I seem to be on a Neil Gaiman kick. Currently, there are three of his books on the top of my To Be Read pile. And I really loved this movie (and Robert Deniro's character).

Tristan Thorn isn't exactly a stud with the ladies, so when the beautiful Victoria promises her hand in marriage if he will find her a fallen star, the poor shop boy sets off on a journey that will take him across the Wall and into the mythical land of Faerie, where feuding royalty and greedy witches complicate Tristan's quest.

Here's the Teaser:

"He looked back and fancied that he could see the lights of Wall behind him, wavering and glimmering as if in a heat-haze, but still inviting.And he knew that if he turned around and went back, no one would think any less of him for it--not his father, nor his mother; and even Victoria Forester would likely as not merely smile at him the next time she saw him, call him "shop-boy," and add that stars, once fallen often proved difficult in finding."

- pg. 72, Stardust by Neil Gaiman

What are you reading?

Be sure to enter the giveaway for James Hutchings' book The New Death!

Interview with James Hutchings and a Giveaway!

2011-11-28T09:32:00.001-07:00

Since I'm currently writing away like a madwoman (see my flagging word count??? ARRGGGG!!!), I've been talking to different authors and experiences writers, picking their brains about the writing process. My latest victim subject is James Hutchings, author of The New Death and others.

Me: What does your favorite writing pot look like? Completely bare desk or one cluttered with inspiration objects? Comfy couch with your laptop? On a beach with only a bottle of sunscreen and your notepad?

J.H.: I'm pretty indifferent to my surroundings when I write. I carry a notebook around with me when I leave the house, but I do most of my writing on the computer using Notepad.

Me: Are you one of the lucky few who focuses on writing as your full-time job or do you have a mild-mannered alter-ego and a day job?
J.H.: I make some extra money from acting, using the stage name 'Brad Pitt'.

Me: I once pulled an interesting storyline from an encounter in a fast food drive-thru. Where's the oddest place or moment where inspiration hit you?

J.H.: A while ago I found three injured birds in the space of a few weeks. I took all of them to the local vet. As I was carrying one of them, I thought that the woman at reception might wonder where I was finding all these injured birds, and that was the inspiration for my story 'Lost, Feral or Stray'.

Me: With a serious case of writer's block, I've been baking cookies all evening and I think I finally have an idea that will work out. What do you do to overcome a blank page?

J.H.: I usually have several things that I'm working on at the same time. This helps with running out of ideas, because I can leave what I'm working on and do something else instead. The danger with this is that starting something can be more fun than finishing it, and so you run the risk of having lots of half-written pieces that you never finish.

I also make a point of writing every day, even when I don't feel like it. This helps get through temporary slumps. I think if you wait for inspiration to strike it never will. Often I start with the attitude that "I'm really tired and I can't think of anything. I'll just write a token amount so I can say I did something today," and actually end up having a good idea and getting a lot done.

Me: After reading The New Death and others with all the different stories and poems, I certainly have my favorites. Which one(s) are your favorite?

J.H.: I like 'The God of the Poor'. I also like one particular part from 'Under the Pyramids':

Down in the dark, down in the dark
down through the rock and slime
away from light and human sight
and sanity and time.

Me: Have you begun your next project? Can you give us any hints?

J.H.: I'm working on a verse version of 'A Princess of Mars'. This is a science fiction adventure story, now in the public domain, written by Edgar Rice Burroughs, who's more famous for Tarzan. Disney is also doing a movie of it, called 'John Carter', but that's not why I chose it. I generally work on several things at the same time, so I'm also in the middle of a few short stories and poems. I've been encouraged to write a novel set in the fantasy city of Telelee, which is the setting of a few of the stories in 'The New Death and others'. I have a lot of background for this world, because I blog every day and most of it is setting detail. I also have a half-finished novel called 'All-American Detectives', which is a combination of a detective story and a story about superheroes, which I'll probably come back to in the future.

Me: Finally, what advice do you have for new writers? Did anyone ever give you completely awesome (or spectacularly awful) advice?

J.H.: Nowdays anyone can self-publish. If you can make a Word document, you can have an ebook on Smashwords or Amazon. However that means that if your work is no good, no one's going to stop you. I'd recommend that people get onto Critique Circle and/or Scribophile, put their work up, and listen to what people tell you. Don't 'defend' your work against people's 'attacks'. They aren't attacks, they're helping you. I've found that the people who defend their work have a strong tendency to have the worst writing, I suppose because they're not making the changes they need to make.

My next point doesn't matter if you're going to self-publish, but it is important if you want to be published by a regular publisher, or if you want to submit stories to magazines. Most places won't publish work that's already been published. And most places count putting a story on the internet as publishing it. In my opinion that's silly, but that's what they do. Scribophile and Critique Circle are exceptions, because google doesn't index them and you can't see any stories without logging on. However there are writing group websites out there where, if you put a story on the site, that counts as the story being published. That seems like a really terrible way to set things up, but they're out there.

I'd also say that getting a book out isn't the final step. It's just the start of the work of self-promotion. This is true even if you're not self-publishing: I'm told that authors are expected to pretty much arrange their own book signings and so on (if you just want to have a book out to show family and friends then this doesn't matter, of course).

There are a lot of sharks out there, who make their money from authors and not from readers. They will make all sorts of promises about how they're going to promote you and help you, but these are lies. Authors do not pay publishers, ever, and if they're asking you to pay then it's a scam. Of course if you're self-publishing you might end up paying someone to design a cover for you, or you might pay for internet advertising, but those are different things. You might also pay a printer to print your books if you want to get physical books rather than ebooks - but in this age of the kindle and print-on-demand I don't know why you'd want to. Preditors and Editors is a good website to look at, and you can get good advice at the forums of Critique Circle.

Finally, I'd suggest learning to touch-type if you can't already. You're going to be doing a lot of typing, and every hour you spend getting faster at typing will save you ten in the long run.

Me: Also, if you have a preferred playlist, I'd love to include a few of the songs and artists.

J.H.: My favourite bands are probably The Smiths and The Cure. Of bands that are roughly around now I like The Dresden Dolls and The Killers.

________________

Thanks to James Hutchings for the excellent advice and tips! Now for the fun part: enter to win a free copy of The New Death and others!

This book is available through Smashwords, so you won't be receiving a printed book, but access to an ebook. These can be read on your Kindle, Nook, or on your computer.

To enter, leave a comment about your preferred writing space (or if you don't write, then your favorite reading spot).

For additional entries:

Follow DuckDuckCow.
Post about this contest on Facebook.
Post about this interview and contest on your blog, including a link back here.

Please leave me one comment per entry. Contest closes at Sunday, Dec. 4th at midnight MDT.

Good luck!

Wait…When Was Halloween?

2011-11-25T08:23:00.003-07:00

Ummm…so…I kinda sorta didn't remember to not forget about posting Halloween pictures on this here blog thingy.

Sorry.

Just pretend that it's a month ago, okay?

Boo wanted to be a witch. She was sorely disappointed that most of the witch costumes had short skirts (yeah, that makes two of us!) because it gets cold here and most costumes are designed to fit a parka underneath. We finally found one she liked and that I was willing to pay for:

And just because I'm awesome (not because I was feeling guilty over not making her a costume from scratch…), I made her broom. I started with a dowel, painted it black, then used packages of black feathers glued together in little clusters to fill in the rest.

Then, because Boo was a witch, Baby decided/was told she would be a black cat. Hey, at least this one was homemade. For Boo when she was two. And Baby was way better about wearing the ears.

The Boy was still deciding between costumes two days before Halloween, when I actually started putting his together. I was so excited about making him a Lego that I didn't care about the effort involved. And boy howdy, did it take a lot of effort…

Here are the instructions if you're thinking of trying this next year. And read the comments after the instructions! There are some helpful hints in there.

As for me…well, I once again got a little obsessed with an idea. I saw it online and just HAD to make one. Of course, it's designed for a child so I had to adapt the materials.

And I thought being a jellyfish was a pretty original idea! There were two others at the kids' school. Also? Because I am a mega dork, whenever anyone wasn't sure what I was, I would sway slowly from side to side to let the tentacles move, to see if they could figure it out from that.

As for the Man, well…he was a stick in the mud. Or a nudist on strike. Whichever.

Thankful for Tuesdays

2011-11-22T12:57:00.001-07:00

Sorry, no Teaser Tuesday this week…I'm not reading books right now as I frantically try to write one. Instead, I'm going to share the results of our annual tradition for the FHE the week of Thanksgiving: Alphabet Blessings.

As a family, we go through the alphabet, one person at a time, and say something that we are grateful for. We start with the oldest and end with the youngest. (And the youngest usually needs some help…) I love it because although some things are the same from year to year, there's always new blessings that show how the kids are growing. This year it was slightly different in that my nephew was here to participate.

Apple pie (mmmm…)
Boo and books
Chocolate (mmmm…again)
Dogs
Eggs (as in the ones that made the birds angry)
Flowers
G. family (they're all pretty awesome)
House
Intelligence
Jump roping
Karate (the Boy just started taking lessons and is mildly obsessed)
Lollipops (Baby didn't need any help picking this one)
Mom (awww, shucks…)
Nachos
Ostriches
Playing
Quentin
Ruby and Max (I hate that show…)
Son
Tilly (our rent-to-own dog; she'll be getting her own post soon enough)
Underwear
Villains (when I asked Boo why she picked this, she said it was because bad guys make the story more interesting)
Water to drink right after karate (see? obsessed!)
Xylophones (because they make music)
You
Zumba!

What are you thankful for today?

Is It Time To Panic Yet?

2011-11-21T07:49:00.000-07:00

Currently, I am only halfway to where I need to be at this point in the month. I don't even want to know what my word count is going to be by the end of today...

Missing the Middle…and the Point

2011-11-18T07:15:00.000-07:00

The Man travels for business quite a bit. While I am not terribly high maintenance, always calling and texting and posting cutesy messages on his Facebook wall, I do insist on one thing: he needs to bring me back a souvenier. It's how I've gotten chocolates from many states and countries.

Every now and then, the Man comes across something particularly unique and brings it home. Once, he brought me soap. But not just any soap, "environmentally conscience" soap. Here, have a look for yourself.

The explanation for their "hole"-ier than thou soap was simple enough: it's always that last little wedge of soap from the middle that gets thrown away because it's too small, so they just took out the middle. Hey, I'm all for conservation and going green. Since hippies aren't actually known for their soap usage, I guess maybe they didn't quite get it. But really? Taking a chunk out of the center is going to fix that wasted soap sliver problem, is it?

Not likely.

The way I see it, the gutted bar is still going to shrink, growing more and more brittle until it finally breaks up - into four smallish slivers of soap. All of which will probably be left in the soapdish to melt away.

And really, how hard is it to just do this:

What do you do with your soap slivers?

Autumn Awesomeness

2011-11-17T08:23:00.002-07:00

If you've read my blog for any amount of time, then you've probably seen a post or two about swaps. What can I say? I am pretty addicted! And Mamarazzi put together another fun one; this one with an autumn theme.

It's my favorite time of year! And with my favorite swap hostess. I think Mamarazzi has a crystal ball, chicken bones, or some other sort of divination in order to make such great matches. She hooked me with with becca from Everyday Life. And becca took everything I said in our conversation and managed to turn words into an awesome package.

See, what I love most about this season is the cooler weather. It's too cold to go anywhere so I just curl up with a mug of hot chocolate and a good book. And when I'm not reading, I'm baking. Or eating chocolate. So here is what she sent:

Drinking Chocolate - Thicker, richer than your average hot chocolate
Holly by Jude Deveraux - Oooo…this one looks good!
Pumpkin Bread Kit - This is my favorite snack when the leaves turn colors.
Hot Pads - For when the bread is done baking!
Autumn dishtowel - Already hanging on the oven handle.
Chocolates - Need I say more?
Mug - It's too girly for any of the guys to use so it's perfect for me. (Sorry…I left it out of the picture!)

I love swapping! Not just for the fun of receiving presents in the mail but also because I get to meet really great people. Thanks, becca and Mamarazzi!

What's your favorite part of Autumn?

Teaser Tuesday: The New Death

2011-11-15T08:09:00.018-07:00

Teaser Tuesday is a weekly bookish meme hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

I started reading another ebook that's only online, so when it look like I'm just staring at my computer, stalking people on Facebook, I'm actually reading a book.

The New Death and others is an interesting collection of short stories and poems, some satirical and other straight from James Hutchings' imagination. I'm about half-way through it and so far, it's pretty interesting! Some of the stories seem too short, leaving me wanting more, which is probably a good thing. And luckily, several of the characters reappear in other vignettes. I've never been a big fan of poetry (other than Shel Silverstein) but I gotta say, there are some rather good ones in here, especially one about how Love's phone calls are now being answered by Commerce, who suggests that would-be romantics need more beauty products or a fancier car to find true love. And then there's the short story that details how goddess of Fame talked with the Fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse, named Lawyers, and created reality television. The teaser I chose is from a short story about a thoroughly modern love affair.

Also, I'll be interviewing the author, James Hutchings, on his writing process. Just trying to help out my fellow NaNo-ers in their continuing efforts for manuscript perfection. (And he'll be offering one reader his online ebook for free so be sure to check back!)

Here's the Teaser:

" Finally Simon's friend showed him his new phone.

"They have an app for everything. There's probably one for love," the friend said.

Simon did some investigation, and found that there was indeed an app for love. It was called iYearn. He bought the phone, and downloaded the app. "

- pg 64, "When Love Calls" excerpted from The New Death and others by James Hutchings.

What are you reading?

11-11-11

2011-11-11T09:47:00.000-07:00

Have you met Erin? She's one of those gorgeous, multi-talented people that I would totally hate if she weren't so darn sweet. The only thing I've got on her is that my NaNoWriMo word count is higher than hers. And since copying is a form of flattery, I'm going to copy Erin's idea for today's unusual date.

11 Things I'm Grateful For:

Hot Chocolate on cold days. Warms the body and the soul.
Chubby-armed hugs and sloppy kisses. Nothing can turn my mood around faster.
Being able to be here to send the kids off to school and when they get home. A lot of my friends don't have this opportunity and I admit that some days, I take it for granted.
Friends that are equally as a dorky as I am. It's much more fun to let my freak flag fly when I'm in good company. (And when they get all my Doctor Who references…)
Zumba. I don't like exercise but this is more like getting in touch with my inner sexy Latina dancer. Sure, I look like a drunken monkey but I don't care! It's fun!
The Nephew. I'll have to write a post introducing him but he's only been here a short while and already has made himself indispensable.
Naptime. It's a nice break when the kids are sleeping (and I can eat my chocolate without having to share) but even better when I get to lay down, too. My pillow has it's own irresistible siren song.
Parents, including in-laws. They're such great examples and help me whenever I ask. Sometimes my big, huge problems can easily be brought down to perspective with just one phone conversation.
The Kiddos. There was a time when I was told I'd never be a mother. Each one of my three little ones is a miracle. And not just because they're here, but because they seem to actually like me and laugh at my jokes.
The Man. Not only is he basically my perfect match, but he supports me every November when I get the urge to abandon home and family in order to write a book, even when I refuse to let him read it.
Jesus Christ, my Savior. Too often I let it go unsaid, but I am so very grateful for His example and sacrifice.

What are you grateful for today?

Takin' Care of Business

2011-11-10T07:54:00.034-07:00

My family enjoys a good camping trip. And although we'd much prefer to camp during an unexpected blizzard (it's called making memories, people!) occasionally, we actually have fun. In fact, camping is very much a part of our summer plans. However, now that it's getting chilly, I'm packing away the gear. While cleaning out a bag, I found this list. My scrawled and shaky notes (possibly written in the car or while on a pit toilet) were supposed to become a blog post but must have gotten lost in the unpacking and showering and de-ticking and trying to get the smell of bug spray out of our cooler.

So here it is for your viewing -- and probably gagging -- enjoyment!

Why Pit Toilets Are The Worst Life Experience Ever Inflicted Upon Civilized Cultures

You never want to use them unless you really gotta go. Inevitably, there will be someone in line ahead of you and that someone will take a very, very loooooooooong time.
Do I really need to mention the smell? You might pretend it doesn't bother you but really, that's just keeping a brave face in front of the kids, like you do when comforting them after they've puked all over the bathroom, pretending that their vomity breath isn't making you want to hurl.
You will inevitably have an audience, although it will be of the insect variety. Once, there was a frog in there with me. I couldn't pee and opted for remote bushes instead. (You're welcome.)
The height on these things? Ridiculous! Are the makers prejudiced against short-legged folk? Because picnic tables are the same way…it's pretty embarrassing when your feet don't touch. But because of the height, using a germaphobe's "hover" technique is out of the question. Only option is a full-cheek press.
Ain't nothing like that "cool breeze" on your nethers to really keep you focused on the task at hand.
Couldn't they at least add some sound proofing? I don't need a "reassuring" echo of my business.
You might want to consider bringing your own toilet paper. Sometimes, there are four rolls on the locked metal bar and sometimes, you don't even get a full sheet. Do you really want to take that gamble?
Don't. Look. Down. If you're not careful, you could lose your sunglasses or camera or small child. My dad once lost a flashlight. I wonder what that next person thought of that.
Maybe it's just me, but somehow, I just don't feel done without a flush. So unsatisfying.
No sinks. Seriously. NO SINKS. At least now they're putting in hand sanitizer stations.

Teaser Tuesday: Good Omens

2011-11-08T07:47:00.000-07:00

Teaser Tuesday is a weekly bookish meme hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

Grab your current read.
Open to a random page.
Share two (2) "teaser" sentences from somewhere on that page.
BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (Make sure that what you share doesn't give away too much. You don't want to ruin the book for others!)
Share the title and author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teaser!

Tarnishing souls takes a certain level of craftsmanship and perhaps the demon Crowley has gotten a little too good on at it because he's been given the task of delivering the newborn Antichrist to a local hospital. Sure, being noticed by the big powers Downstairs is a cool thing but the Apocalypse? Now? Really? After six centuries of watching humanity with his angel counterpart, Aziraphale, and just when things were going so well.

Good Omens: the Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch is written by Terry Prachett and Neil Gaiman, the same guy who wrote Stardust. I've read a couple of his books and I've gotta say, he's an entertaining writer! One of the reviews for this book is from Clive Barker, where he says "The Apocalypse has never been funnier."

Here's the Teaser:

"The time would come soon enough when sleep would be right out of the question. When those Below found out that he, personally, had lost the Antichrist, they'd probably dig up all those reports he'd done on the Spanish Inquisition and try them out on him, one at a time and then all together."

- pg. 112, Good Omens: the Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman.

What are you reading?

Teaser Tuesday: Every Thing On It

2011-11-01T07:19:00.001-06:00

Teaser Tuesday is a weekly bookish meme hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

Grab your current read.
Open to a random page.
Share two (2) "teaser" sentences from somewhere on that page.
BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (Make sure that what you share doesn't give away too much. You don't want to ruin the book for others!)
Share the title and author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teaser!

Maybe because it's Halloween and I have such fond childhood memories of this time of year but I've been waxing nostalgic. Hence, this week's Teaser Tuesday: the new Shel Silverstein book. I hope that one day I will be as loved and cherished as this man so that when I die, they still crave my books and continue publishing even years after. And I can still recite most of the "Sick" poem.

Here's the Teaser:

"Good Idea
Try to get Dad

To walk on his hands,

Then clap and cheer,

"Oh, do some more!"

So there he goes proudly,

And now's your chance

To pick up the change

That fell out on the floor."

-pg. 75, Every Thing On It by Shel Silverstein

What are you reading?

What is your favorite Shel Silverstein poem?

If I Were A Zombie...

2011-10-31T22:22:00.000-06:00

The "Out of Candy" sign went on the door a little early this tear. The bucket still has some goodies but I'm hanging on to the last of the Kit Kats. The kids have collapsed from their sugar-induced frenzy. I've already "inspected" a few pieces of candy (you can never be too careful…especially when it comes to chocolate). Pictures are coming later. Maybe.

Meanwhile, enjoy this seasonally suitable video:

Thanks to Just SO for the link. And Tipi? This one's for you!

What candy do you ~~steal~~ inspect from your kids' bags?

The Envelope, Please...

2011-10-25T22:12:00.002-06:00

Thanks to everyone the entered to win the books by Derrolyn Anderson! Using Random.org, I selected a winner:

Comment #4 from Miss Angie from My So-Called Chaos!

Congrats, Angie! I'll pass along your info to Derrolyn and she'll tell you how to access those books. If you didn't win but still want to take a look at Marina's Tales, check out her listings on Smashwords.

And one more thing…

I entered another swap! It's one hosted by the absolutely fabulous Mamarazzi from Dandelion Wishes. She's a got a lot of rules to follow but I've yet to be disappointed with the partners I've gotten. The lady knows her stuff! Also? Autumn is my favorite time year.

What would you include in an Autumn package?

Perfect Vanilla Cupcakes

2011-10-24T07:23:00.000-06:00

Yes, they really are perfect.

Since I make cupcakes fairly regularly, I'm always on the hunt for better recipes that will provide the best possible results. That was when I stumbled across a discussion about how to get perfectly domed tops on your cupcakes. Finally! Others were disappointed with flat or peaked cupcakes and knew how to fix it. Apparently, it's all in the way the cupcakes are mixed.

Perfect Vanilla Cupcakes
1/4 cup milk
1/2 cup butter, cubed
2/3 cup sugar
3 eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
Zest of one lemon
1 1/2 cup flour
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt

Heat your oven to 350 and make sure the rack is set in the middle.
Use those really cute liners that you have stashed in the back of the cabinet - you know, the ones you've kept for a special occasion - because these cupcakes are worth it! Place liners in a 12-count muffin tin.
Now for the weird part: Pour milk into a small saucepan with the chunks of butter. Turn to medium heat and stir until the heated milk melts the butter. Set this aside to cool. You don't want it too hot when you add it in later.
Whisk together sugar, eggs, and vanilla extract. Kept working at it until it's thick and creamy (but be careful that you don't get too many air bubbles).
Now you're ready for the butter/milk. Mix that in nice and gentle.
Dump in the rest of the ingredients. Be careful not to over-mix here. Stirring too much will wear out your baking powder and then perfection is unobtainable.
Next, we need to fill up the liners to 3/4 full. My preferred method of dispensing batter is an ice cream scoop that has the scrapper-thingy (because I'm all technical) that wipes out the inside with the press of the lever. Less messy than using your finger.
Bake these future beauties for 17-20 minutes, or until a toothpick stuck into the center comes out clean.
Stand back in awe of your mad kitchen skillz.
And in the off-chance that you get one of the pesky peaks, use the back of a clean spoon to gently flatten the top back down to domed-ness.

Now you're ready to frost these gorgeous cups of love!
But that's an entirely different post...

Foreign Relations

2011-10-21T07:14:00.003-06:00

The Man recently spent some time overseas. He's used to not getting out to see the sights because by the time he's done with work, it's usually the middle of the night. So he watches television (if I'm not available on iChat).

America is pretty obsessed with their television, hence the hundreds of channels of virtual nonsense that runs constantly. Europeans? Not so much. When the Man was staying, there were only four channels available, none of which were in English. So needing to unwind from a busy day and having nothing better , he found himself watching what he thought was a brown sponge.

He's actually a loaf of bread; the German equivalent of Moose A. Moose from Nick Jr.. I've never met carbohydrates with such mad rapping skillz. There are a couple good ones with English subtitles here and here but they didn't allow embedding.

Did you enjoy the cultural lesson for today?

Teaser Tuesday: The Moon and the Tide

2011-10-18T10:03:00.001-06:00

Teaser Tuesday is a weekly bookish meme hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

Grab your current read.
Open to a random page.
Share two (2) "teaser" sentences from somewhere on that page.
BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (Make sure that what you share doesn't give away too much. You don't want to ruin the book for others!)
Share the title and author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teaser!

I started the second book in Derrolyn Anderson's Marina's Tales series. It's called The Moon and the Tide. Marina seems to finally have happiness, as do those around her, when a terrible accident happens and Marina's heritage is splashed all over the internet. It's not just reporters that want the full story. I'm about halfway through it and I must say, there's a lot more action in this one!

Here's the Teaser:

"I could tell that he wanted me to cower, to be afraid; I wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction. I had no respect at all for bullies, and I wanted him to know it."

- pg 135, The Moon and The Tide by Derrolyn Anderson

And just in case you missed it, I'm giving away Derrolyn Anderson's Marina's Tales series in ebook format! Go here to enter. Forget sparkly vampires and heart-broken werewolves; mermaids are the new hot thing!

What are you reading?

Interview with Derrolyn Anderson and a Giveaway!

2011-10-17T07:37:00.117-06:00

I got to interview the author of Marina's Tales, a series of stories about a teenage girl dealing with her newly discovered mermaid heritage, Derrolyn Anderson. She let me pester her with all kinds of questions and then didn't seem the least bit annoyed. And? She's offering her ebook as a prize for one of my readers. I think I may just have a new imaginary BFF.

On to the interview!

Me: You are an accomplished artist! What inspired you switch to novels? (And did you design your own covers?)

Derrolyn: Thank you! I’m not exactly sure what inspired me to start writing, but now that I have, it’s become something of an obsession. Art is something I’ve always done, and will continue to do, but for now it’s definitely taken a back seat to writing.

I’m finding the two disciplines have a lot in common, in that you’re trying to create an image – to paint a picture using either words or brushstrokes. They can also be equally frustrating! The picture you hold in your mind can be maddeningly difficult to realize, and you find yourself constantly slamming up against your own limitations. It’s a constant struggle to improve; the very best painting/paragraph is always the elusive “next one”.

My painting style doesn’t really scream YA, so I messed around with some stock photos on Photoshop for the covers. Book #3 is actually a picture of one of my three daughters, taken by her twin!

Me: How did you start writing Marina's tales? What was the first thing you put down on paper/computer screen?

Derrolyn: I’ve always read a lot, but checking out my daughter’s YA books (and revisiting the charms of first love) was probably what triggered me to start thinking about writing my own stories. I lived in the beachy little seaside town of Aptos for the first ten years of my marriage, and the cement ship in the story actually exists. I’m nostalgic for those foggy morning walks along the sand, so it seemed like a perfect setting for a paranormal romance.

I sold a painting and decided to use the money to buy myself a laptop of my own. So, armed with a loose idea and a few pages of notes, I just dove in, writing sequentially, and let the story take me wherever it went. I had absolutely no idea how it would end when I began, so I can’t imagine writing without a word-processing program. I’m in awe of anyone who wrote before the computer came along.

Me: The most terrifying thing to me is a blank page. How do you get past the debilitating paralyses of Writer's Block?

Derrolyn: When I first began writing, I was too stupid to be intimidated, and no one expected anything of me. I’m glad I didn’t give it too much thought, because now that I have a better grasp on how difficult the process really is, I might have found a way to avoid getting started!

Me: My Muse is powered by dark chocolate and Diet Pepsi. What foods tempt your muse?

Derrolyn: Coffee, dark chocolate and red wine. Three things I require pretty much daily, which coincidentally, have now all been deemed as good for you!

Me: Sometimes writers can get as superstitious as baseball players. I simply cannot write without music playing (absolute silence results in no flow) and it seems like my best work is done when I'm wearing my favorite shoes. Do you have lucky talismans, special pens, or any other item that you MUST HAVE in order to get to work?

Derrolyn: I like music too, and I’ve got a nice moody mix on my iPod I put on while I curl up on my bed with my laptop and notepads. The only other thing I require is peace and quiet, and that’s not too easy to come by with three teenage girls and a husband banging around the house and barging in on me every ten minutes.

Songs from the playlist include: Nick Drake – From The Morning, Keane - Somewhere Only We Know, John Lennon – Mind Games, and Matt Nathanson – Come On Get Higher.

Me: Some authors have to be in the mood to write, while others can only make progress when on a set schedule, regardless of inspiration. What kind of writer are you?

Derrolyn: I try to steal away when I can, usually after the workday ends and while my husband makes dinner for everyone. I’m a lucky woman- he’s cute and he cooks too!

Me: Do you have an advice you'd like to offer an aspiring writer?

Derrolyn: JUST DO IT! Ignore all the naysayers with their condescension and negativity; the only thing that matters is the feeling you get when you know you’re on the right track. Above all, remember, you can’t please everyone, so you’ve got to please yourself!

Thanks, Derrolyn! And just to show you what an awesome tale of foggy, ocean inspired fantasy she's created, Derrolyn is offering Marina's tales in ebook format to one lucky reader.

To enter, leave a comment on this post about your own writing ~~mis~~adventures. Or if you don't write, tell me about the worst or best book you've ever read.
For additional entries:

Follow my blog (or let me know if you already do).
Visit Derrolyn.com and tell me which of her pieces you like the most.
Blog about this interview and contest and include a link back here.

Leave one comment per entry. Contest closes Sunday, Oct. 23rd, at midnight MST.

Good luck!

Brown Paper Packages Tied Up With Priority Mail Tape

2011-10-15T19:58:00.001-06:00

There are days when I suspect the world is just trying to overwhelm me with awesomeness. Yesterday was one of those days. And I totally needed it because it was definitely a "take prescription pills and go back to bed with an ice pack" kind of day. But I'm not gonna whine. I'm totally gonna brag instead.

First, there was a delivery from my favorite floral place:

From the Man. Because he loves me. (And because he didn't give me flowers during my birthday week but hey! NO whining!)

Then came the mailman's visit. Normally, I just get a key tucked in the mailbox for the package box but that day, the package box wasn't big enough. I got three packages!

The first one was from Jell-O:

The brain mold was free (just pay shipping and handling). I already have a brain mold but this one is smaller and you just can't beat free. You can still order the mold up to Halloween so if you want one (and really, who wouldn't?) go sign up! The recipe books that comes with it kept my kids entertained for hours.

The second was from my brand-new buddy, Karen from A Peek At Karen's World. She's my swap partner from Miss Angie and Beth's Swapoween!

Here's what she sent:

Cookie cutters (that I had just talked myself out of getting these so this was just meant to be)
Sugar cookie mix
Halloween frosting (I might let the kids use it…I'm such a frosting snob)
Two packages of candy corn tissues (Adorable! Already in my purse!)
Candy corn footies (I told her I love candy corn and I think she listened - unlike my children)
Bag of candy corns (mix half and half with roasted peanuts and it tastes like a Payday candy bar!)
Autumn M&Ms ('cuz I needs me some more chocolate!)
DVD of Watcher in the Woods

My favorite thing? The DVD! When I was a kid, we watched this movie and it had me terrified for years. Then, when I was a teenager, I was in charge of bringing the scary movie to a party. I hunted all over town for a copy of this movie. But when my friends watched it, they couldn't get over the dated clothes and overly cheesy acting. Not even the least bit scary now. Can't wait to show it to the kids and maybe scar them into their teenage years.

The third package was from a company that sent me some cool products. I'll be talking about those after I have a chance to play with them. Free stuff is awesome.

* Be sure to check in on Monday! I'll have an interview with author Derrolyn Anderson as well as a giveaway!

My Jagged Little Pills

2011-10-13T07:37:00.002-06:00

I'm not good with prescription medication. Seems like I never have the expected results or side-effects. When I had a transplant, the doctor gave me an anti-rejection pill that would let my body accept the new addition. There weren't supposed to be any side-effects to speak of. So of course I developed boils. I still get them. And it pretty much sucks as bad as you think it would.

On this blog, I've frequently discussed my experiences with happy pills and how they don't always work like they should. My doctor was rather boggled by recent reactions, insisting that she'd never seen anything like this before. Well, my mother always told me I was special.

And painkillers are rarely as annihilating as their name would suggest, although I do see some pretty freaky light trails...while still writhing in pain. Unfortunately, while I was admiring the whitish beams my fingers were making, Boo picked that moment to come and talk to me. Just like her mother, Boo talks with her hands. Finally, I had to ask her to stop moving her hands so much because the light trails were getting too blurry. As any non-medicated person would be, she was perplexed. I attempted to show the difference by having her watch the light emitted from her little fingertips, then try to find the same reaction in the oscillating fan on the other side of the room.

Me: See? No light trails.
Boo: Uh, Mom? Are you feeling okay?
Me: I think it's because the fan isn't alive.
Boo: …
Me: Would you go catch me a spider? I want to see if it has a light trail.

Boo left the room but she didn't go hunt down a spider. I muttered at her lack of faith.
Instead, she brought me her hamster, Peanut.

(And yes, he had light trails.)

* Make sure you come back to see me on Monday. I'm interviewing a fabulous YA author and offering her books in a giveaway!

Teaser Tuesday: Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children

2011-10-11T07:01:00.047-06:00

Teaser Tuesday is a weekly bookish meme hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

Grab your current read.
Open to a random page.
Share two (2) "teaser" sentences from somewhere on that page.
BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (Make sure that what you share doesn't give away too much. You don't want to ruin the book for others!)
Share the title and author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teaser!

This book has been floating around on my TBR pile but with it soaring up the NYTime's Bestseller list, it was not easy to track down a reasonably priced copy. Either more of my friends need to read weird books or I need weirder friends.

As a young boy, Jacob listened to his grandfather's fantastic stories of a nearly-magical orphanage on a secluded island, where special children gathered. A devastating tragedy has taken everything from Jacob but he still remembers the stories, but as he seeks out the orphanage, he learns that there was more to his grandfather's stories and the children's abilities may not have been figments of an old man's imagination.

Here's the Teaser:

"It wasn't until a few years later that my dad explained it to me: Grandpa had told him the same stories when he was a kid, and they weren't lies, exactly, but exaggerated versions of the truth -- because the story of Grandpa Portman's childhood wasn't a fairy tale at all. It was a horror story.

- pg. 17, Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs

Instead of asking my usual question of "What are you reading?" (although feel free to answer that if you'd like!), I want to know if you plan on participating in National Novel Writing Month (or NaNoWriMo, for those that know) this year! I'm up for my eighth year.

Who is in this with me?

Mothering Moments: You'll Never Pee Alone

2011-10-06T09:12:00.001-06:00

Most people would adore the idea of an admiring crowd following them everywhere. Those people obviously aren't mothers.

Moms are used to the masses of small ones shadowing their every move, back and forth between rooms and laundry area, up and down stairs, all while keeping up a breathlessly running commentary on the mother's actions. Even a trip to the bathroom does not go unattended. And should the mother attempt to close the door between them, her offspring will loudly protest being cut off from their idol, punctuating this injustice with pounding fists and feet. The more timid little ones might decide that if they can't be entirely in the same room with her, then perhaps just a portion of themselves might suffice, and will content themselves with sticking their fingers, toes, and noses under the door, ever questioning if they are seen.

Now, a word of warning. Should you decide that your time in the bathroom is better spent not yelling at your kids to be quiet or insisting that those fingers can be seen just as easily when you're done, you might leave the door open. This might become such a regular event that you soon think nothing of leaving the bathroom door open during all your visits. But be careful about getting too lax in your attention to details here. It's too easy to fall into a habit, regardless of the situation.

Leaving the door open every time you use the restroom is not advisable.

Because you might not think about it and find yourself leaving the door ajar during a trip to the bathroom in the middle of Sunday dinner...

…when you have company over.

Teaser Tuesday: Between the Land and the Sea

2011-10-04T08:16:00.077-06:00

Teaser Tuesday is a weekly bookish meme hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

Grab your current read.
Open to a random page.
Share two (2) "teaser" sentences from somewhere on that page.
BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (Make sure that what you share doesn't give away too much. You don't want to ruin the book for others!)
Share the title and author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teaser!

Do you know why I prefer reading young adult fiction? Not only is it very popular right now so there's plenty to choose from but for the most part, they're clean. I don't have my eye twitching at excessive use of expletives and I'm not skipping paragraphs as clothes are shed whilst beds/couches/dining-room tables are used for lascivious purposes. I still get the best parts of romance: the tension and breathless moments.

So a lot of my current reads are young adult. Usually, they involve the supernatural in some manner. Werewolves, vampires (and not just the sparkly ones), fallen angels, re-incarnated goddesses, dystopian possibilities (with zombies and without). However, I'd never read a mermaid book. That's where the lovely Derrolyn Anderson comes in. She's written a series called Marina's Tales that features Marina, a globe-trotting city girl who finds herself in a small, slow-paced oceanside town where the hottest guy in school isn't the only one at the beach that gets her attention.

Ms. Anderson has agreed to let me interview about her writing process. Since NaNoWriMo is fast approaching, I know I need all the help/encouragement/butt-kicking I can get. Keep an eye out for the interview, which may also contain a giveaway!

Here's the Teaser:

"Over a cup of hot tea with honey I told her about how I was blindsided by the massive wave, skipping over the mermaid part. As shocked and dazed as I was, I had enough wits about me to realize that no one would take my story seriously."

- pg. 54, Between the Land and the Sea by Derrolyn Anderson

What are you reading?

Wordful Wednesday: Because I Refuse To Make My Own Birthday Cake

2011-09-28T08:21:00.004-06:00

I love making fantastic cakes for other people. The look on their face when they see the cake…well, it's my drug. Love that feeling. But make my own birthday cake? No way.

So when we have the family dinner on the Sunday during my birthday week, Aunt Denise brings a chocolate cake, frosting, plenty of sprinkles, candies, etc., then turns the kids loose on it. I love this tradition! (But for the past couple of years? I've insisted on making the frosting. I'm kinda a snob that way.)

This year, the cake was divided into three portions (so there wouldn't be any tears over who's art got covered up by who's craziness with the sprinkles). Baby had the far side, Boo in the middle, and the Boy's portion is buried under sprinkles and candy.

And just because I know you're dying to ask…I'm 29.95 plus shipping and handling.

Teaser Tuesday: Mistborn

2011-09-27T07:58:00.051-06:00

Teaser Tuesday is a weekly bookish meme hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

Grab your current read.
Open to a random page.
Share two (2) "teaser" sentences from somewhere on that page.
BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (Make sure that what you share doesn't give away too much. You don't want to ruin the book for others!)
Share the title and author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teaser!

I still haven't finished the book from last week (it's been a busy week) so I'm reaching back to one I finished before joining Teaser Tuesday.

In Mistborn, Brandon Sanderson creates a world where the Lord Ruler is a tyrannical ruler, oppressing the common people for the past 1,000 years. Think of it as a sort of medieval period with extremes in the classes and rebellion but add in powerful abilities fueled by metals and one ruthless king that's ruled for the past millennium. And really, I just can't do the storyline justice so please find a copy (or borrow mine) and read it for yourself.

Here's the Teaser:

"Only high noblemen could be Mistborn; they were said to be a secret sect of assassins who served him, only going out at night. Reen had always taught her that they were a myth, and Vin had assumed he was right."

- pg. 65, "Mistborn" by Brandon Sanderson

What are you reading?

The Smells of Caramel Apples and Swap Packages are in the Air!

2011-09-24T12:40:00.001-06:00

I love Halloween. It's just FUN!

Are you going to dress up this year? I will (of course) but the Man won't (of course). Boo wants to be a witch and Baby wants to be a kitty. The Boy wants to be Spiderman. Or a red Lego. Or Superman. Or a blue Lego. Hey, at least he's it narrowed down to four. I'm still thinking.

Also? It's my Birthday week next week. I've started the celebration a little early by making an appointment with my dentist Thursday afternoon because nothing says "Party time!" like sharp, metallic objects jabbing your gumline. Woot.

So to make myself feel a little more in the party spirit, I signed up for another swap!

Two lovely ladies that I met through swapping are hosting one of their own. Angie from My So-Called Chaos and Beth from Living a Goddess Life put together a Halloween swap. Perfect. I love this time of year (and not just because it's my birthday). So march on over and get yourself signed up!

And while you're at it…got any ideas for costumes?

Wordful Wednesday: Maybe the Chemistry Set was a Bad Idea

2011-09-21T08:21:00.003-06:00

Boo is in her "sign making" phase, where she's always changing/adding to the signs on her bedroom door. Since Baby switched places with the Boy and now the girls are sharing a room, her notes have take on a decidedly feminist tone.

If you can't read her sign, it reads: "Keep Out!! Only Girls allowed inside. We are making dangerous things. Warning: dangerous Girls."

I think the skull and crossbones presents her message well, but nothing says "dangerous" like a flaming skull. Or she's drawing the face that Baby makes whenever I try to fix her hair.

Teaser Tuesday: Grass for His Pillow

2011-09-20T10:28:00.001-06:00

Teaser Tuesday is a weekly bookish meme hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

Grab your current read.
Open to a random page.
Share two (2) "teaser" sentences from somewhere on that page.
BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (Make sure that what you share doesn't give away too much. You don't want to ruin the book for others!)
Share the title and author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teaser!

The Tales of the Otori is a trilogy set in an alternate Japan. While very much like the Japan we learn about in the history books, the people in this series tend to believe in myth and magic a little more. And there's a hidden tribe of assassins that totally reminds me of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. I started reading the second book in the series and very much appreciated the listing of characters in the beginning of the book so I could refresh my memory on just who was the bad guy, who was the good guy, and who was yet-to-be-determined. Takeo, adopted son of an Otori lord, now finds himself an orphan as he is taken to join his rightful family among the secretive and deadly Tribe. Worst of all is the separation from his love, Kaede, the beautiful heiress with a deadly reputation of her own: every man who desired her ends up dead.

Here's Teaser:

" 'Men die easily.' Kaede's voice was flat. 'From the prick of a needle, the thrust of a knife. You taught me that.' "- pg. 7, Grass for His Pillow: Tales of the Otori, Book Two by Lian Hearn.

What are you reading?

Wordful Wednesday: Comparison

2011-09-14T08:26:00.000-06:00

I like my kids. I like to watch what they do, listen to what they say (or how they say it), and take pictures of them. I've got to remember these days. How else will I be able to emotionally blackmail them years from now?

They're growing too fast as it is. Seems like just the other day, I took this picture:

Boo is not quite three in this picture. The little pie on the table in front of her was the project for the day in her toddler cooking class (as cute as it turned out, the pie was not very good). Awww…so cute.

Now, look at this:

This is Baby. She took the same cooking class during the summer and this was one of her projects. Seeing her sitting at the table, looking so proud of her efforts, I remembered the image above. Then, I re-fixed Baby's hair and found the exact same shirt for the photo.

Do you think they're sisters?

I'm Blue (Da Be Dee)

2011-09-13T16:53:00.000-06:00

Look what came in the mail!

Woot!

My partner was the lovely K from Living the Lindicious Life. My favorite color is blue (but you already knew that, right?). Interestingly enough, we both chose BLUE as our favorite color so putting together a package was pretty easy and just plain fun. K hasn't received the package I sent her yet because I was a day late in mailing (I have repented of my swapping iniquity) so you might have to check her blog later for a peek at what she got but here's my box o' blueness:

In fact, everything K sent me has something to do with chocolate! There's the obvious things, like the chocolate spread, chocolate-covered gummy bears, and chocolate cupcakes. Then she put in a gorgeous mug for sipping hot chocolate, a hot pad for taking those brownies out of the oven, a leather-bound notebook for recording all my favorite chocolate recipes, licorice to dip in chocolate, a photo album for pictures of my family eating chocolate, and a lovely sparkly blue scarf so I look spiffy when I go out to get more chocolate. Perfect!

And my favorite item? Why, this of course:

Not a spot of blue on it but I don't care! Sometimes it's good to break the rules just a little. Mmmmm…broken rules are so yummy!

And K? Baby would like to sincerely thank you for the chocolate-dipped gummy bears. They are her new favorite "successful potty trip" rewards.

Teaser Tuesday: Discord's Apple

2011-09-13T07:54:00.014-06:00

Teaser Tuesday is a weekly bookish meme hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

Grab your current read.
Open to a random page.
Share two (2) "teaser" sentences from somewhere on that page.
BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (Make sure that what you share doesn't give away too much. You don't want to ruin the book for others!)
Share the title and author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teaser!

There wasn't much spare time this past week so I'm actually still working my way through Wildefire (it's starting to annoy me so I'm having a hard time getting into it). So here's a book I read during the summer written by one of my favorite authors, Carrie Vaughn. I go completely nuts for mythology so when I read the back of Discord's Apple, I was immediately hooked. Evie Walker returns home to her terminally ill father at a time when America is starting to fall into disarray, when terrorist attacks are common, checkpoints and rationing re-instituted. But her father - and her entire line of ancestry - protects the secrets located in the Storeroom, artifacts that ancient enemies have patiently waited centuries for the right moment.

Here's the teaser:

"The slippers knew that the old woman had come for them; as if they had a sentience of their own. Did every object in the Storeroom have the same sense of knowing?"

- pg 38, Discord's Apple by Carrie Vaughn

What are you reading?

Open Letters…Again

2011-09-10T09:32:00.000-06:00

It's been awhile since I've written an open letter but I constantly write them in my head, things I can't say to the actual person/corporate entity/personified noun - but what I really want to say.

__________

Dear Wal-Mart,

We kinda have a love/hate relationship. You love my money and I hate shopping there. While I appreciate the "upgrades" you made during the recent remodel, with your expanded cake decorating section and soda selection, there is one thing I just can't handle. It's those dang automated video ads.
Keep in mind that 95% of the time I roam your overly-bright aisles, I am just there because it's late, we're out of milk/bread/chocolate (you know…the essentials), and I'm too tired/stressed/lazy to drive the two miles to my preferred grocery store. It is in this less-than attentive state that I happen to walk by one of the many screens you've placed that are set to play commercials for the myriad items in that location. Nothing about the perky voice or enthusiastic advertising should be threatening but I never fail to jump out of my skin.
And dude, I'm already there and not gonna leave without spending at least $50 so do you really have to keep pushing even more things I don't need? Save it for early in the morning, when I need something exciting to get me out of bed, like the new and improved scent of fabric softener or yet another form of sugared carbohydrates.

I hate you,
Jessica G.

__________

Dear Soccer,

At first it was pretty cool being your mom, like earning a merit badge or leveling up on the video game of life.
But these early morning games on Saturday? Not cool.
Fix it or so help me, next season I will put him in horseback riding lessons.

Not even kidding when it comes to my sleep,
Jessica G.

Teaser Tuesday: Like Water For Chocolate

2011-09-06T15:59:00.001-06:00

Teaser Tuesday is a weekly bookish meme hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

Grab your current read.
Open to a random page.
Share two (2) "teaser" sentences from somewhere on that page.
BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (Make sure that what you share doesn't give away too much. You don't want to ruin the book for others!)
Share the title and author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teaser!

Once again venturing out of my comfort zone, I picked up a book that doesn't feature werewolves or magic or post-apocalyptic teenage angst. Gasp! So unlike me, I know! Like Water for Chocolate is set in 1930s Mexico, where Tita, the youngest daughter, must remain unmarried and care for her mother. Unfortunately for her, she falls in love with Pedro. Since he can't be with Tita, he does the next best thing: marries her sister, Rosaura.

Here's the teaser:

"She was swept away in a raging, rotting river for several yards; then she couldn't hold back any more, and she spewed out great noisy mouthfuls of vomit, like an erupting volcano, right before Pedro's horrified eyes. Rosaura complained bitterly about the way her wedding had been ruined, and no power on earth could convince her that Tita had not added something to the cake."

- pg 39, Like Water for Chocolate by Laura Esquivel

What are you reading?

S.I.M.P.

2011-09-05T07:48:00.000-06:00

Maybe it's the painkillers I've needed lately or maybe Phineas and Ferb is just stinkin' hilarious…it's one of the few shows I'll watch with the kids, as the rest of them make my eyeballs want to explode.

Also? They have a link where you can make a 2D image of yourself by uploading a photo. So of course I tried it. And this is what I got:

Yep. That's me. Just need to add a few kid-placed smudges to my clothes and put a book in my hand to perfect the look. Some chocolate would be nice, too. Mmmmm…chocolate…

Friday Confessional: No Surprises Here

2011-09-02T12:14:00.001-06:00

I confess…

I hate doing laundry.
Yeah, well, join the club!
I would love to join the club and get matching jackets (that would never requiring cleaning) and swap names for our piles of clothes (my current favorite is Mount Washmore) and empathize over the stray crayon that somehow made it into the dryer with the girls' nice dresses.

I confess…

It wasn't just the act of doing the laundry but the hopeless, never-ending onslaught of clothes. The laundry is never "done." It's just not possible, especially since I've been potty training Baby this week (don't ask - it ain't pretty). So I avoided laundry like I avoid green beans.

I confess…

I felt like a failure because, for me, it hurts to do the laundry. Well, if you're bionic, it hurts. To understand better, next time you put in a load, switch it to the dryer, etc., try not using your right arm. You can't even use it to balance the load. So go about the laundry with one arm and see how much harder it becomes. And you can all thank me later for the greater appreciation you will have for the use of both arms to move wet clothes.

I confess…

I don't do the laundry anymore and that has made all the difference.

I confess…

The Man is the one hauling loads and sorting socks. My husband is the best, sexiest, sweetest, strongest, did I mention sexiest?, and most wonderful man. He was in awe of the fact that we produce loads of whites, darks, lights, and pinks.

I confess…

Seeing him add the fabric softener sheets to yet another load of clothes makes me fall in love with him all over again.

It's better to burn out than fade away

2011-09-01T08:08:00.038-06:00

So.
I went to see Def Leppard last night. This was the second time I've seen them in concert. And we had much better seats than last time.

Pretty cool, huh? We had this nice walkway in front of us, which was great for dancing (or if you were the couple next to us, it was more like drunken staggering). Next time? I want the seats with tables and padded chairs.

Since my brain is still recovering from the booming bass and such, I'm just going to link to a couple videos from the two featured bands.

First up was Heart.

I only knew a few of their songs. A lady a little in front of us was jumping around like crazy so I'm pretty sure they were the reason why she came.

Def Leppard was the real headliner.

They began their set with a song off their latest album. The song is called "Undefeated" and on the screens in the background, they flashed pictures and news articles about people who has achieved the unthinkable, like Bethany Hamilton and Michael Phelps. Also included were the images of the band's tragedies. The montage added to the power behind the lyrics and it just might be my new favorite song.

Last night also served as a reminder of the reasons why I do not imbibe. People who downed a few too many beers were a big source of entertainment. The inebriated make very unwise decisions when it comes to…well, pretty much everything, from dance moves to dance partners, from clothing removal to amped up reactions to imagined slights. And I'm sure more than a few are going to end up on Facebook (or Failbook After Dark). I'm sure their kids would be so proud.

Speaking of kids…the VIP section in front of us had quite a few teens and kids seated there. If I'd paid $120 each for tickets for my teenage daughter and her two friends, then they better put down their stupid phones and watch the concert. Ridiculous. The parents even shelled out another $40 each for matching concert shirts for the girls.

I'm sounding a little grumpy. At any moment, I might break out into a "when I was your age…" speech. I didn't go to a real concert until I was in 17. I went with three friends to see UB40. I don't remember a lot from that night (probably because it was forever ago) but I do remember being so stoked to be there that I didn't care when the band played songs I didn't know.

What was your first concert?

Teaser Tuesday: Wildefire

2011-08-30T07:45:00.006-06:00

Teaser Tuesday is a weekly bookish meme hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

Grab your current read.
Open to a random page.
Share two (2) "teaser" sentences from somewhere on that page.
BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (Make sure that what you share doesn't give away too much. You don't want to ruin the book for others!)
Share the title and author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teaser!

I found this book on Amazon as I was looking for something new. The cover is absolutely gorgeous so I kept reading. The premise piqued my interest: teenagers at a distant boarding school discover that their enrollment is no coincidence; they are reincarnations of long-lost demi-gods. Included with the description was an interesting interview with the author. Karsten Knight was funny. If his writing was as compelling as his personality, then this book would be a good read.

Here's the Teaser:

"Her most stunning feature was her eyes, two irises of vibrant gray that gave her a commanding presence despite her diminutive stature.

It was thus all the more ironic that Serena Andreotes was completely blind."

- pg 69, Wildefire by Karsten Knight

What are you reading?

Friday Confessional: Back to School

2011-08-26T08:39:00.002-06:00

So…seems like I've only been posting lately when there's a meme to fill out or some other obligation. Hence, the "first day of school" post. Sure, we celebrated and it was a big deal and I've been admiring everyone else's adorable, backpack-bearing children and my blog has remained silent…except for the memes. Yeah, well…maybe I need to adjust my happy pills.

I confess…
I was really looking forward to the day when school started.

I confess…
I may have counted down the days. Just a little. Especially when the advertising, sales, and stacks of notebooks started showing up everywhere. Then came the planning for the annual party at the bus stop, where the families all meet together early, bringing juice and frosted carbs to celebrate the start of another year, before loading our offspring on a large, awkward metal conveyance that lack proper restraints.

I confess…
When Boo started school, I cried a little as she climbed on that bus, her tiny legs barely able to make it up the stairs. Then I cried a little bit more back at home, when she wasn't there for what seemed like a very, very long time. I fought the tears when she came home, tired but happy. Even laying out her clothes for the next day got me a little weepy.

I confess…
Boy's first day was met with much more enthusiasm. This change wasn't because the Boy was a difficult child; he's a pretty typical boy. Mainly, I was excited because he was so excited to hop on that bus. Finally, all those mornings spent with his nose pressed to the window, watching his sister make the long walk (half a block) to wait for the bus. He probably didn't sleep much the night before. Also? It's not nearly as scary the second time around.

I confess…
When Baby starts school, I will probably be a jiggly mess of sobbing and snot. It won't be pretty, folks.

I confess…

*sigh*

I love my little family. We are very blessed. And the best part? Is how much they love each other back. I'm not the only one that's addicted to the hugs and sloppy kisses.

I Love the Smell of Swapping in the Evening

2011-08-25T21:12:00.000-06:00

I was starting to go into withdrawal…

Head on over and sign up for this one! Mamarazzi is a fantastic hostess! (Tell her I sent ya.)

Wordful Wednesday: When Zombies Attack Young Couples

2011-08-24T08:00:00.002-06:00

It's no secret that I anticipate a zombie apocalypse…possibly starting around late December 2012. Or not. And I'm not the only one.

A young couple, hopelessly in love, takes a trip to a more rural and rustic part of the country to capture those stylish engagement photos with forgotten backdrops. You know the scene: overgrown fields of wheat, abandoned buildings, rusted farm equipment. What they should have asked was why those places were abandoned in the first place…

I can't do it justice and I'd rather not "borrow" someone else's work, so go on over to Amanda Rynda's photography site and take a look through her most recent photo shoot! Makes me want to do mine all over again.

Teaser Tuesday: Gathering Blue

2011-08-23T07:26:00.001-06:00

Teaser Tuesday is a weekly bookish meme hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

Grab your current read.
Open to a random page.
Share two (2) "teaser" sentences from somewhere on that page.
BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (Make sure that what you share doesn't give away too much. You don't want to ruin the book for others!)
Share the title and author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teaser!

I'm finally off the anthologies. A long time ago, I read Lois Lowry's The Giver, a jarring dystopian story about what our world could become if we let someone else make all of our decisions for the sake of equality. Most people I've talked to, read the book in high school so they spent weeks analyzing every chapter and writing papers so they don't necessarily have a positive perspective. I didn't read it then and I was itching to ~~rant~~ calmly share my thoughts. Even made my parents read it so I'd have someone else to discuss the book with. When I read that the author had written two more books along the same lines, I immediately added them to my TBR list. Gathering Blue is the second book and, so far, almost completely different than the first one. In fact, I'm not sure how they tie together. Kira is a young girl, disabled from birth but with a surprising talent for needlework, that suddenly becomes orphan and must prove herself valuable to the primitive community, where everyone contributes for the greater good.

Here's the Teaser:

" 'One day my daughter will be able to do this.' Katrina had said one year to the guardian. 'Look what she has done!' she said and showed him the scrap the Kira had just completed, the one that had composed itself so magically in her fingers."

- pg 42, Gathering Blue by Lois Lowry

What are you reading?

My Summer Survival Secret: Nutella

2011-08-18T08:14:00.001-06:00

I love me a good recipe. On a weekly basis, I am subjecting the family to new experiments. For the most part, they turn out well enough and some are even added to permanent rotation. Then there are the miserable failures that have us scraping off our plates and snacking on grapes and crackers the rest of the evening.

It's far too hard to be flawless all the time. Really, I need to lower the expectations every now and then or there's just no way I can keep up with the demands.

So it was very unfortunately that I came across perfection in baked form. I'll never be able to top this one. Self-Frosting Nutella Cupcakes.

Be Different…Act Normal was the first to mention these extraordinary beauties. Lorie has never steered me wrong in the past and these might just be my new favorite. And usually, frosting the cupcake is my favorite part but with these, it's sinking my teeth into a the next one that sends me over the moon.

When I moved to Happy Valley, the local grocery store did not carry any delicious chocolate hazelnut spread. The store manager was open to special requests so I made one. On my most recent visit, there were three spaces on the shelf dedicated to Nutella. Now, previously, my favorite form of Nutella was by the spoonful straight from the jar while making dinner, after the kids have gone to bed, or when there's fighting coming from the other room and I need to solidify my resolve to confront it.

After I make my next batch of these cupcakes, I'll have enough proofs of purchase for the spiffy Nutella Spreader.

Teaser Tuesday: Dark & Stormy Knights

2011-08-16T08:34:00.020-06:00

Teaser Tuesday is a weekly bookish meme hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

Grab your current read.
Open to a random page.
Share two (2) "teaser" sentences from somewhere on that page.
BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (Make sure that what you share doesn't give away too much. You don't want to ruin the book for others!)
Share the title and author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teaser!

Still loving the anthologies. I've had this one on my wish list for some time. I'm beginning to think that Border's going out of business is the best thing that's ever happened to my bookshelf. This one, called Dark and Stormy Knights, is a collection of short stories where the hero/heroine doesn't fit the stereotype. So no Fabio look-a-likes riding in on a snow white steed to save the day. Instead, you've got the shady vampire who agreed to help only because it means vengeance, a mean old dragonslayer training a replacement before her forced retirement, the "gentleman mobster" from the Dresden Files taking a stand, and a man who was born to kill people with the ability to call forth demon-like creatures, regardless of their gender or age. So far, some really interesting stories...and a couple that I had a hard time getting into.

Here's the Teaser:

"He said he couldn't fault me for keeping her to myself, describing her as a darlin' little thing with dark hair. That's all the detail I got, and I couldn't ask for more or I'd have to tell him she was a ghost, and that was none of his business."

- pg 201, "The Dark Lady" by P.N. Elrod, Dark and Stormy Knights, edited by P.N. Elrod

What book are you reading?

Wordful Wednesday: Sunday Hairstyles

2011-08-10T19:00:00.000-06:00

* It's "WordFUL Wednesday" because I don't think it's possible for me to not talk.

At times, I really feel like a failure as a mother. Pretty much on a weekly basis, actually. Already, my kids are doomed when it comes to wearing cool clothes. Or shoes. And their mom is a big dork that reads mostly dork books. I also tend to forget my shortcomings and attempt something ridiculously out of my range...like giving the girls cute hairstyles for church on Sunday.

After watching a tutorial on how to get heat-free curls, I decided this would be perfect for Boo and Baby (and Boo's American Girl doll, too, apparently).

The process itself is fairly simple and the girls actually sat still long enough for me to finish that twisting. I sent them off to bed with giggles and careful pats at their "crowns."

Doll hair just doesn't curl well so I wasn't too surprised when that venture wasn't successful. Baby's hair was gorgeous. Those lovely curls were effortless. Unfortunately, half of her hair had slipped from bondage during the night. As long as you looked at her from the right...

Boo's curls were soft and sweet. We rushed to church (because we always do) and I didn't get a picture. As she walked down the hall to her Sunday School class, I noticed the curls were somewhat less...curvy. By the time church was over, she hair was barely wavy.

*Sigh*

Well, at least I tried.

Teaser Tuesday: My Big Fat Supernatural Wedding

2011-08-09T07:34:00.002-06:00

Teaser Tuesday is a weekly bookish meme hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

Grab your current read.
Open to a random page.
Share two (2) "teaser" sentences from somewhere on that page.
BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (Make sure that what you share doesn't give away too much. You don't want to ruin the book for others!)
Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teaser!

I missed doing this the past couple weeks, mainly because I ~~forgot it was Tuesday~~ was in between books. But this week, I am ready to go! For some reason, I've gotten into reading collections of short stories featuring some of my favorite authors. This book was the latest in that trend. My Big Fat Supernatural Wedding has tales of nuptial chaos from big names like Jim Butcher, Charlaine Harris, and P.N. Elrod . There are tales zombie pirates on a wedding cruise, spell-casting relatives attempting to deter young love, a vampire marrying a werewolf, and a mythic goddess bringing the wedding ceremony to an ethereal halt. I got it for the Jim Butcher story but I think I might check into some of Esther Friesner and Susan Krinard books because I thought their contributions were pretty good. Actually, the teaser is from Ms. Friesner's tale.

Here's the Teaser:

"Although the tranquil surface of a pond reflects the silver beauty of the moon, that is no guarantee against it teeming with alligators. A smattering of caution would determine whether you came away from the encounter with a haiku or a bloody stump where your right hand used to be."

- pg 158, "The Wedding of Wylda Serene" by Esther M. Friesner, My Big Fat Supernatural Wedding, edited by P.N. Elrod

What book are you reading?

Don't Step On My Cerulean-Hued, Non-Animal Skin Shoes!

2011-08-08T08:12:00.002-06:00

Source

I've already admitted my utter lack of skill in the fashion department, especially when it comes to shoes. Nearly two years later, I haven't changed (although I now own a pair of adorable red heels!). Currently, I am on pair #6 of the same utilitarian black loafers because I wear them with everything. I'd rather stick with what works because by the time I join in on a trend, it's usually long over.

Honest, I really tried to care about shoes! I spent far too much money on an adorable pair of embroidered shoes that I had coveted (yes, coveted, as in "committing the sin of envy") for months. And? I've never worn them. I have a different pair of shoes that are nearly the same color that I opt for instead. Why? No idea. Maybe because the uglier shoes would give me better traction in case I have to run from zombies.

Then, in preparation for my cruise (which I never blogged about because I am a total slacker), I got two new pairs of shoes. Both are open-toed wedges, which I picked because I wanted heels ('cuz I'm short) but didn't want to wear stilettos on the beach. "Stuck" is not a good look. Now, the black pair has become my go-to shoe, taking the place of my trusty loafers. They are higher heels than I usually wear but they're just fun to walk in. I don't trip over my feet or stumble nearly as often as I do in heels. And? Random strangers give me compliments on them. For a chubby white lady who usually has had a kid smear something on her clothes which she then wears out in public because she hasn't noticed, compliments are pretty scarce.

So I stroll along, completing my errands in my cute shoes. I usually don't notice how much my feet hurt until I've been sitting down for a moment (a rare event with three kids to entertain during the summers months). But boy howdy, the shoes turn from pretty to painful after a couple hours. I tried inserts from Dr Scholl's but they won't stick to the shoes and keep flopping out. I found one in my daughter's doll house, being used as a carpet. I've decided that limping really takes the swing out of my swagger.

Also? There should be a law against gorgeous, tall, slim women being allowed to wear sky-high heels around us short, frumpy types. Even my Super Sexy Goddess boots just can't compare.

A Mothering Moment: Packing

2011-08-05T07:53:00.001-06:00

As a mother with growing children, you might be tempted to give your brood tasks in which they are entirely responsible - with very little checking on your part - so those little people will learn about consequences.

This is not a good idea.

Carefully explain that the trip will last three days so your (highly intelligent, possibly genius) child will need three sets of clothes including: pants, shirt, underwear, and socks. Let him/her happily gather items and stash them in their own backpack. Then, send them on to another important task. But check the bag! Otherwise, this could be the scene in your hotel on the second day of your trip:

The Man: Boy, you really need to put on clean socks.
Boy: But I only have one clean sock.
The Man: Wait, what?
Boy: Mom said to bring three socks. I wore two yesterday so I only have one left.
The Man: Three pairs of socks.
Boy: Oh...that makes more sense.

Move Over, Twilight!

2011-08-01T07:46:00.013-06:00

Have you read "The Hunger Games" trilogy by Suzanne Collins? Not only is the writing of higher quality than the Twilight Saga, but the love triangle is a lot more believable. And no one sparkles. I even convinced the Man to read it! I can't get him to sit through an entire Twilight movie.

Rumors of the upcoming Hunger Games movie have had me going spastic like nothing else. I highly approve of the selected cast (except how hard would it be to have Peeta be blond? Really, give the boy some bleach and be done with it!). Also, does anyone know if Lenny Kravitz can actually act?

In my quest to find more tidbits of tribute goodness, I found this youtube yumminess:

(And since all my video frames get cut off, go here to see the un-squished version.)

I've been a Peeta fan since book one. Not just because he can bake, either. The guy is sweet! Who wouldn't swoon for someone who has been secretly in love with you since you were in pigtails?

Which one would you choose: Peeta or Gale?

Balm of Gilead

2011-07-28T08:13:00.006-06:00

I'm feeling a little pouty lately. Really, it's just my selfishness and the fact that I've worked so hard to ~~brainwash~~ convince so many people that dorks are actually quite lovable and now it's all gone. Along with my best friend and my substitute mom.

Our ward boundaries changed. This means that approximately 18 houses in my neighborhood (of which one is mine) are now in another ward. Same building, same gospel, same truth. Different time, different faces, just plain different.

I don't like change. Wait, let me rephrase that. I don't like change that I can't control.

Since I can't control it, I've just got to learn to adjust, right? Or I can just sit on my couch, pout, feel like my comfort zone was dissected and rezoned by imminent domain, and eat chocolate pudding.

Homemade Chocolate Pudding

3/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup cornstarch
1/2 tsp salt
2 1/2 cups milk
3 egg yolks, well beaten
2 oz baking chocolate, chopped (the darker, the better!)
1 Tbsp butter
1 tsp vanilla

Combine sugar, cornstarch, and salt in a medium saucepan.
Gradually stir in milk and egg yolks over medium heat.
Once combined, add baking chocolate.
Stir until mixture thickens and boils. Allow to boil (while stirring) one minute longer, then remove from heat.
Add butter and vanilla, mixing until well combined.
To serve warm (my preferred method): Immediately spoon into dessert cups.
To serve chilled (my preferred breakfast the next morning): Cover pan with plastic wrap, making sure the entire surface of the pudding is in contact, and set in fridge for at least three hours. Scoop out desired amount. Pudding will be firmer.

This is also quite scrumptious as a chocolate fondue.

* The image is from here, which also has another yummy pudding recipe.

Snippets from the Snippy

2011-07-25T08:10:00.001-06:00

We went on a mini vacation this past weekend. The Man needed some time out of cell phone range. While it was a pretty fun trip, there were a few highlights that make being a parent ~~who believes in blackmail~~ worthwhile.

For instance, there was much discussion and questioning and chatter and interrogating and oh-my-goodness-can-you-please-be-quiet-for-two-freakin'-minutes with regards to the facilities at the places of lodging. Specifically about the aquatic activities offered. The kids seemed to forget that this was a trip to visit historically significant sites or beautiful displays of God's handiwork. Not one big swim meet. It was after an afternoon of whining and begging for the pool instead of listening to park rangers when I snapped.

Me: Alright, there will be no more whining, complaining, or in any way making a negative comment about this vacation until after dinner or so help me, you will stay in the hotel room and watch me through the window swimming and doing cannonball dives and belly flops to my heart's content. Do you understand?
Boo: ...
Boy: My leg hurts.
Me: (Head exploding)

I will say that after a morning and afternoon of hiking and heat and humidity and sweating and drinking lukewarm water from a source also shared with my toddler, who does not grasp the finer points of preventing backwash, slipping into the pool was actually pretty darn nice.

Stressed is Desserts Spelled Backwards

2011-07-22T08:21:00.001-06:00

A few weeks ago, I did the unthinkable on a Sunday: I didn't stress out.

Most of my readers are in the same leaky boat as I am: LDS mother with more young children than hands, husband with important duties at church or at work (or both), and with the desire to attend church weekly, family intact. Like most of those moms, I pass through the chapels doors with children in tow in various states of irreverence. And I probably ran out of time so I'm not wearing lipstick, one eye is twitching from all the reminding/nagging I've had to do that morning, or one of my little blondes has a head full of tangles. But hey, we're all present and accounted for!

On that particular Sunday, I was on my own. The Man was in a different city on a business trip. No worries. I'm a professional parent. This is why they pay me the big bucks, right?

It started off with a decision. I'd hit snooze one (or three) too many times and was now running late. I could either leap of bed, start the yelling early as I tried to get my kids out of bed while plunging myself into my closet in search of clothes, or I could take a deep breath, taking it easy.

I chose Door #2.

Rousing the sleepyheads took three trips to their bedrooms (except for Baby, who became my saggy-diapered shadow immediately) but the kids were up. Sunday clothes selected the night before, they set to getting dressed while I showered and got myself ready. Breakfast was eaten at a normal pace, which stopped the crying fits over being rushed into a meal choice (really, it takes careful contemplation as to whether today is a cinnamon toast kind of day or if cold cereal is better suited, or the whole day would be ruined). My makeup (aka: my war paint) went on while they ate. As soon as bums were out of seats, I gave them their instructions. Plates/bowls and cups on the counter, then get your bag ready for church. Since this was a no-yelling morning, I only reminded the distracted kids about their duties before moving on with my tasks.

While I managed to eat something, Boo got Baby dressed. The Boy made sure her church bag was stocked with a snack and her current favorite toy. Slippery soft hair was combed and contained (except for the Boy, who nearly ran away from the comb screaming...I decided not to fight that battle). My bag ready to go, I ushered the kids into the car and we head to church.

No tears. No whining. No resistance. Smiles. Holding hands. Ready to worship our Father in heaven and learn of His Son.

It was a great Sunday.

Also? We were half an hour late.

Teaser Tuesday: Mr. Monster

2011-07-19T12:04:00.001-06:00

Teaser Tuesday is a weekly bookish meme hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

Grab your current read.
Open to a random page.
Share two (2) "teaser" sentences from somewhere on that page.
BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (Make sure that what you share doesn't give away too much. You don't want to ruin the book for others!)
Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teaser!

John Cleaver is not a serial killer but he is a sociopath. To keep the appearance of a normal teenager, John created a strict list of rules for himself, allowing him to contain his darker side, Mr. Monster. When a real serial killer targeted his town, John was able to use his own instincts track him down and kill him (this happened in the first book). Just this once. But now that Mr. Monster has had a taste of blood, he's not so willing to go back behind the wall of John's rules. So what is John to do when another murderer, just as demonic and deadly as the last one, comes looking for the last one? And how was he to know that demons had friends?

I just started this one so I'm not very far along. Seems like most of the books on my To Be Read pile are from a series. "Mr. Monster" is the sequel to "I Am Not A Serial Killer" by Dan Wells. And I just found out that there's a third book! Woot!

The Teaser:

"The thing was, my rules were designed to keep Mr. Monster in, but they had the brutally efficient side effect of keeping everyone else out. A guy who forces himself to ignore people anytime he starts to get to know them is not a guy who's going to make a lot of friends."

- pg. 25, "Mr. Monster" by Dan Wells

What book are you reading?

Teaser Tuesday: The Actor and the Housewife

2011-07-12T11:33:00.051-06:00

Teaser Tuesday is a weekly bookish meme hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

Grab your current read.
Open to a random page.
Share two (2) "teaser" sentences from somewhere on that page.
BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (Make sure that what you share doesn't give away too much. You don't want to ruin the book for others!)
Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teaser!

I am the first to admit that I've been stuck in a young adult dystopian fiction rut. A change was absolutely vital to my sanity. A good friend handed me a stack of books. In them was what she deemed "the worst book" she had ever read. So of course, I'm going to read it. All the way through. The book is by Shannon Hale, called "The Actor and the Housewife." A happily married stay-at-home LDS mom becomes friends with her Hollywood crush, a prominent actor. The pair have very little in common and certainly wouldn't seem like they would be friends. And yet, they can't seem to live without each other's friendship. I'm a little more than halfway through now and I can completely understand why my friend (and a few others that I've mentioned the book to) are so repulsed by the premise. I'm starting to feel like the author is maybe focusing too much on the fact that they are "JUST FRIENDS," nothing romantic (although it certainly seems that way at first). But I gotta say, I'm not hating it. The dialogue between them is hysterical and it's really interesting to have a complete outsider's view of the Mormon culture (because we really are peculiar) where they're not trying to tear the religion down. He even gets to taste that essential beverage of Mormons: Sprite with lime sherbet!

Here's the teaser:

"No chance she'd allow any man to see her naked besides the one who'd gotten her pregnant four times. You broke it, you bought it, baby."

- pg 117, "The Actor and the Housewife" by Shannon Hale

In the comments, tell me what book you are reading and how it's going so far!

Moment in Which I Completely Freak Out and it is Almost Justified

2011-07-11T07:55:00.070-06:00

The other night, the writing bug really hit me. You know, when that perfect idea bounces around in your skull all day, getting louder and louder, until you absolutely must sit down and get the thoughts flowing out onto the keyboard before they permanently damage your brain.

I was completely enmeshed by subject-verb agreement when I first noticed the tickle on my foot. It was easy to ignore. I had a plot to move forward, people! No time for distractions. Besides, it was probably just the airflow from the fan fluttering in my toe hair. (What an attractive visual image! You're welcome.)

The tickle turned to prickly but I was getting to the shocking reveal and there was no stopping me now! My fingers were smoking on the keys as I wiggled my big toe just a little. As the prick becomes a pinch, I'm starting to lose focus. My already running imagination starts scripting the possible scenario for my foot bother (ya know, because I gots me some o' tha crazies when it comes to "what ifs"). Perhaps it is an ingrown hair forming in protest to the afternoon spent in ugly crocs? Kids are in bed so surely there's no little person attempting to pluck the long strands from my toe knuckle. I'm barefoot but I'm in the house so it can't possibly be a poisonous snake that has somehow mistaken this for a hairy little mouse meal. What if the dastardly house gnomes have armed themselves with tiny pick axes, intent on stealing the bones in my foot, carving and polishing them, then selling the finished pieces in their highly lucrative tourist trade?

Finally, I wrap the scene. The last period barely strikes the screen before I'm leaning over to examine my foot. This is where I nearly throw my laptop into the next room in a effort to stand faster.

Attached to my big toe is a very large earwig. Ewwwww!

I hate those things! They're so creepy, with their pinchy little bums and the slithering way they move. And this one was huge! Nearly the size of my toe! Okay, that's just the adrenaline talking. It wasn't as big as that. More like the size of a quarter. Or perhaps a large penny...that's been folded into thirds lengthwise. Alright, alright...it was a normal size. But STILL! The bugger hurt. (Heheheheh...see what I did there?)

I spent the rest of the evening with one eye searching for split modifiers and the other for slinking insects. One must protect one's valuable and sought-after foot bones in case the retirement portfolio doesn't work out.

Just When I Expected the Worst

2011-07-09T08:24:00.002-06:00

Sundays are kinda my day off.

Sure, I wake up the kids, approve church clothes, fix three heads of slippery soft hair, supervise the stocking of sacrament backpacks, buckle car seats, fix lunches, detail after-church activities, determine nap times, schedule home teachers, organize family dinner, prepare a large meal, and manage to include a nice dessert. But, still, it's the Man's job to supervise the kids during church, while I run around and attempt to keep tabs on the other 130 children (and no, that number is not an exaggeration).

This past Sunday, the Man was sick. I was on my own.

I asked the two older kids to please, please, please, for the love of all things chocolate-covered, please help me with Baby. They looked warily at their younger sibling but agreed. The fruit snacks only last so long. Baby gets wiggly pretty easily.

"What are we supposed to do?" Boo doesn't even bother to whisper.

"Just play together," I said, trying to catch the speaker's words.

And they did.

Zoobles hosted a tea party with Darth Maul. Littlest Pet Shops were Batman's pet dogs. The Human Torch became a trusty flashlight to retrieve lost crayons from under the seats.

As the first notes of the closing hymn started, the kids dutifully cleaned up, resorting toys back into their designated gender bias. I breathed a sigh of relief as little smiling faces hurried off to their classes.

Maybe I have this mothering-thing down after all!

Teaser Tuesday: Surviving Antartica

2011-07-06T08:08:00.083-06:00

Teaser Tuesday is a weekly bookish meme hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

Grab your current read.
Open to a random page.
Share two (2) "teaser" sentences from somewhere on that page.
BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (Make sure that what you share doesn't give away too much. You don't want to ruin the book for others!)
Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teaser!

And no, it's not non-fiction. I don't read many books that aren't fiction, specifically urban fantasy or dystopian genres. As the sub-title is "Reality TV 2083," this one falls into both categories. To think, I was mostly kidding when I said reality tv was destroying life as we know it! Five teens are sent to Antarctica to re-live the dangerous South Pole expedition, for the sake of a futuristic society's edu-tainment. I just started this book yesterday so I'm not very far into it. A friend loaned it to me and, since I've had a few of her books for months now, I'd better get these read and back to her before she stops letting me borrow her books.

My teaser:

"We've saved our taxpayers billions of dollars by getting rid of the public schools. We teach history through Survivor, English through Tele-Novelas, and math through Dialing for Dollars."

- page 23, the Secretary of Entertainment, "Surviving Antarctica: Reality TV 2083" by Andrea White.

The Complexities of Winning

2011-07-01T11:29:00.002-06:00

And no, my veins aren't pulsing with tiger blood. Although that is a rather tasty sno cone flavor...

So...this has been an interesting past week. I've had several professional-type persons tell me that I am "complex." I'm still trying to decide if that's a good thing. At this point, maybe not so much. As if the Man didn't have enough problems figuring me out.

It's time to pick a winner for the Savanna Hill jewelry giveaway!

Drumroll, please...
.
.
.
.
.
According to Random.org, the winner is comment #10, from the Lady of Perpetual Chaos.

Lady of Perpetual Chaos said...

And of course I follow you!

JUNE 24, 2011 4:49 PM

See? It pays to follow me! If you didn't win but still want one of Jenine's lovely pieces, you can still use the coupon code duckduckcow for 20% off when ordering. Congratulations to the winner and thanks to everyone who entered!

(And I'll be updating The Cake Cow with a few pictures later one. One of them might just be my new favorite cake!)

Mothering Moment: Little Sister Vs. Earrings

2011-06-30T16:46:00.001-06:00

If your eldest daughter happens to like silly earrings that are made from foam or modeling clay or some other non-metal substance, be sure to keep those earrings up out of reach of your toddler. Because when she's supposed to be sleeping, the toddler will actually pull all the backs off her sister's earrings. Then she'll decided that those bright orange dinosaurs look a lot like her fruit snacks.

And just in case...super glue will put the earring back together but isn't very good at filling in the tooth marks.